Wives.. And Hunting

[mdhunter]

Just when I think I put my wife over the edge with all the hunting I do, my kids reach the age they are ready to go.

I definately now more of a guide than a hunter these days but my wife is happy the kids are outside in and not in trouble. I wouldn't trade it for the world and I am very fortunate.

I do find it interesting she will catch and eat a fish without remorse but she won't shoot anything. Oh well, at least she lets me pursue my passion.

 

[Bucnutz.wis]

I'm trying to be as brutally honest with her as I can. I'm even overdoing it just a little, to make sure things are crystal clear.

Be sure you don't overlook the cooking and cleaning section on her marriage application as well...Just say'in....

I have all the hunting I need out my back door on our property here is Wisconsin so I'm set with local hunting....:W:

My wife lets me do one trip a year as long as she gets to go on one trip also... Except this year now, she decided we should take a break from our trips... ...and I want to apply for Montana Elk/Deer next month... so I got some work to do there now...

If she's the one, you'll find a compromise somehow, somewhere...Good Luck to ya.!!

 

[Sytes]

I'm guessing that if we make it through this year, I'll be good to go..

Heh, if there is one thing I would turn the clock back on... it would be my anniversary date. Gone hunting and anniversary both need their own time ... Thankfully, my wife is very supportive of my hunting!
For someone that does not appreciate hunting in a manner desired steer clear of that wedding date and hunting time frame!
cheers! Best of success in your decisions!

 

[MN Public Hunter]

28 years ago my wife took me to meet her dad in ND who was a real big hunter/fisherman. My wife herself loves to fish and since she came from a hunting and fishing back ground she understands when Sept. Rolls around she will not see me much as I hunt hard til Dec.

My wife and I have different hobbies so it all works out and we support each other. The one thing that might hurt you is the amount of money you spend on the hobby as money can turn people against each other real quick.

I say stick with her and see how it goes....

 

[Khunter]

surpised nobody (dink) has suggested we need a bikini (her not you) photo in order to properly advise you to stay or go

 

[Brentster7189]

There are too many fish in the sea to exhaust all yoru energy and resources on trying to make someone like hunting, or understand why you do it. Then kids come along, and you have yourself being the pro for hunter and still have the old bird being negative. What about when it's time to buy some hunting equipment? Pleading that case might prove a little difficult...maybe she needs some new pots and pans. Lots of meat to be eaten too, yet your still gonna have to spend money buying all the meat from the store for her to eat.

I'd say it's not worth it. There are just way too many people out there...you can find one that has the same interests as yourself. Trying to make her like hunting...well she's thinking that's about as exciting as making you NOT like hunting. I see conflicts going on a long time down the road. Cut your losses now while it doesn't cost you anything, and move on...you'll be better off for it.

 

[Devil Diver Down]

I'm trying to be as brutally honest with her as I can. I'm even overdoing it just a little, to make sure things are crystal clear.

You've got it right already. My wife and I married almost 18 years and 2 sons ago--she had no hunting background and hated guns. Had never even been around them. Didn't want me to have them around.

I told her, "This is who I am. I'm going to want to be gone, doing my thing for a while." Upfront and honest and she gets the same in return. That was more about fishing/camping and taking time to write. Now I plan to hunt a lot more and do some of those other things less.

Everything will be fine as long as you both can strike a balance you can both live with.

 

[jpomai]

I didn't get married until I was 36 and couldn't be happier. I know of several guys that have wives that can't stand them going hunting and is a big source of contention. My wife knew coming in how important hunting was to me. (The year before we started going out I was in the field 59 days) Honestly I haven't been gone that long since, but probably still average around 30 days or more a year. My wife grew up around hunting but isn't really an outdoor type girl. In 2008 I went to South Africa with a couple buddies of mine and our wives. I figured my wife would spend maybe at most two or three days in the blind with me and then get bored with it and want to go do some tours and shopping. To my surprise she was out there everyday on a 10 day hunt except one when her and the other wives had a trip planned. We found a great deal to hunt again in South Africa in 09 and she decided she wanted to try and get a few animals herself. I didn't know if she would be able to do it but she did great. Probably the greatest moment for me personally is after she shot an imapala with a perfect shot and had that look and excitement that we have all seen before when a beginner gets that first animal and the adrenaline is pumping. I guess the strong points in are marriage is that she understands that I have to have my hunting time and I understand that sometimes she wants to do other things either with me or with her girlfriends and that's o.k. The major point is we both knew what to expect going in and that it wasn't going to change just because we were married. If my wife had been negative or unhappy with my hunting I can honestly say it would of been a deal breaker because it's a major part of who I am. Might sound kind of harse but it's the truth. Good luck.

 

[MuddyBull]

My wife could never kill a critter, but she loves eating wild game and packing elk on her horses. I am very blessed.
My advice on marriage: during the next year hunt just as you have or plan to after marriage. After that, it shouldn't be hard to tell if she is the one for you and you for her. Don't rush, a true love based relationship is not that hard to maintain.
MB

 

[----]

You guys are making me nervous...

 

[bushwcker]

Im very lucky to have my wife. She is not a huntress, but she lets me go whenever and wherever I want to...But it usally costs me one way or another...Our anniversary is Oct 22nd and I have not been home for that for the last 5 years...I have learned to provide her with whatever entertainment she wants, shopping, a cruise, whatever, within reason of course.
What I am saying is before you kick her to the curb figure out if she is willing to put up with your hunting, as long as you entertain her alittle....

 

[Khunter]

There are too many fish in the sea to exhaust all yoru energy and resources on trying to make someone like hunting, or understand why you do it. Then kids come along, and you have yourself being the pro for hunter and still have the old bird being negative. What about when it's time to buy some hunting equipment? Pleading that case might prove a little difficult...maybe she needs some new pots and pans. Lots of meat to be eaten too, yet your still gonna have to spend money buying all the meat from the store for her to eat.

I'd say it's not worth it. There are just way too many people out there...you can find one that has the same interests as yourself. Trying to make her like hunting...well she's thinking that's about as exciting as making you NOT like hunting. I see conflicts going on a long time down the road. Cut your losses now while it doesn't cost you anything, and move on...you'll be better off for it.

Wow is that harsh. Letting your wife buy a new pot is a generous gift of some sort and equates to a free pass to buy hunting toys? Gift days must be a blast in a home where the man/Boss gets toys and the wife/servant gets household implements to make serving man/Boss easier. Vacuum cleaner bags as stocking stuffers.. I still remember how it took my dad 3 weeks to extract the waffle iron from his arse that he tried to gift my mom on mothers day.

Maybe the key is to be open minded enough to enjoy things in life other than hunting and enjoy seeing your spouse have a good time. Otherwise why have a relationship at all.:W: Diversity of interests opens up opportunity for mutual growth. I am glad when my wife occasionally comes on hunts but that has no bearing on my going or not. And there is never a reason to 'plead' for permision for anything a healthy relationship, IMO. Either you take care of the home fires or you do not. Hunting time away does not enter that equation any more than trying to force a man to stay home is going to fix what may be a crappy husband.

Just messing with ya...

 

[174in]

Im very lucky to have my wife. She is not a huntress, but she lets me go whenever and wherever I want to...But it usally costs me one way or another...Our anniversary is Oct 22nd and I have not been home for that for the last 5 years...I have learned to provide her with whatever entertainment she wants, shopping, a cruise, whatever, within reason of course.
What I am saying is before you kick her to the curb figure out if she is willing to put up with your hunting, as long as you entertain her alittle....

Hey you have the same anniversary as my wife and I.

 

[Big Fin]

You guys are making me nervous...

Your bed has now been made, my friend. I suspect that by now she is fully aware of your disease, and if not, she is not as perceptive as I thought.

You are typing this from your Honeymoon on a Hawaiian Island, right?

 

[----]

Your bed has now been made, my friend. I suspect that by now she is fully aware of your disease, and if not, she is not as perceptive as I thought.

You are typing this from your Honeymoon on a Hawaiian Island, right?

I wish, been back in the real world for three weeks.

 

[Goldtip]

First wife I didn't make it crystal clear just how much I hunted, or at least according to her I did not. She actually took some of my head mounts when she left, while I was gone hunting, just to see how pissed I'd get.

Current wife and I got together 18 years ago this past weekend, married for 14 next month and I hunt more and more each year! I started our relationship off with being quite blunt, I told her that hunting was around long before she was, and it would be around long after she was gone. I explained that I wasn't being rude, but hunting was more than just a part of me and if she was going to fall in love with me, she needed to understand that. She occasionally will roll her eyes when I write a check for another out of state application, or buy a new gun, but nothing more. And I make sure it's fair when she let's me know her and her friends are going to "X" for a long weekend or I see a new $400 purse hanging on her arm, she will get the same occasional eye roll from me, and thats all. She's also a downhill skier, so thats not cheap either, and I never give her grief when she drops a ton of cash on ski's or buys her season pass.

Bottom line is you gotta be fair to her in letting her know that if she doesn't accept the hunting you do and that it's part of who you are, that it is non-negotiable, but that you will be fair. Then you will end up regretting marrying her.

 

[1_pointer]

IMO/E if they are worth marrying, you'll miss a few hunts for them sometime during your marriage. That's one way to know they are worth marrying. But, like has been stated by others, just because you have something like hunting doesn't mean that they can't have something else (not hunting) that is equally time consuming and expensive. If either of you can't understand or get by with that then it's gonna be a rough road.

Maybe the key is to be open minded enough to enjoy things in life other than hunting and enjoy seeing your spouse have a good time. Otherwise why have a relationship at all. Diversity of interests opens up opportunity for mutual growth. I am glad when my wife occasionally comes on hunts but that has no bearing on my going or not. And there is never a reason to 'plead' for permision for anything a healthy relationship, IMO. Either you take care of the home fires or you do not. Hunting time away does not enter that equation any more than trying to force a man to stay home is going to fix what may be a crappy husband.

This is worth having posted again.

 

[CJ...$]

If your "other head" cannot live without her... then marry her... tell her when you hunt.. she can shop at the dollar store.. problem solved

 

[noharleyyet]

Show her this thread...if she doesn't run away screaming, go for it.

 

[putm2sleep]

No - most likely will not work, to answer your question. Worry about health, finances and if yer going to get lucky drawing a tag. Or worry if your best friend will make it home after tight rope walking on cliffs after sheep? If she is 'worried about you leaving her at home' which you will, this will not change, and the 3 ringed circus will ensue. She should be thinking, 'he is hunting, I am shoppping', or 'girlfriends - let's go!', or 'kidos, let's go see grandma and grandpa'. Something to that effect. Camo evening wear is a nice idea. Is she worried what she will look like? Show her your passion, and see if you can share the passion? Take her camping, fishing or on a hike. Not once, but a couple times. A real friend / partner will see your joy and be happy in it.

Compromise. Learn it. And, if part of you sees it working, go get it and make it work! Quit wasting time.

Reminder : Life is short. People can change for the better, and be made not to worry.