Wives.. And Hunting

[cadman59501]

I got lucky with my wife. She doesnt like to hunt but grew up in a hunting family so she understands the mentality, and is very understanding when hunting season comes around. I did make the mistake of getting married at the end of Sept., but that was before I started bow hunting. So far there have been a couple years when I was out hunting on our anniversary, but like she told me "she knew what kind of hunter I was when we got married." the biggest is that after all my tags are filled I do give her a "girls" weekend or so and seems to keep everything even in her eyes. Best of luck to you.

 

[tarheel]

Mine won't even go camping unless there's a flush toilet within reach, but she abides my hunting & fishing with no fuss. Take her with you on an early hunting trip and if she will squat in the woods to potty she's a keeper.

 

[drthornton]

Listen to Dink...that is the best advice on the entire thread!

 

[Grizzley]

I'm with Dink on this one...my wife's idea of roughing it is a Hotel and I can live with that. Just a piece of advice my dad gave me..."Marry RICH you can learn to love'em."

We usually do one family trip a year and she travels where she wants and when she wants. But she knows that when September rolls around I will probably be gone two to three weekends a month until January with two long weeks gone out of state. It sounds like bragging but what the hell she justs says "whatever makes you happy" and hunting makes me happy! If you are reading this Honey (every now and again she spies on me to see what I'm up to)... Happy Valentines Day!

Good Luck!

 

[huntRme]

OK. here's my two cents.

If you think you can get married and still carry on as you did while single then don't get married to anyone.

If you don't have some passion in common that you spend a lot of time on with her then keep looking.
Example: On our first date my wife found out I was a singer and she had secretly been hoping for a "songbird" (as she puts it), and later in the evening I "auditioned" her, because I wanted a songbird too, and now my wife is the other member of the family band. We go out to a local open mic every Wednesday evening, and work on music together a couple of times a week. We also ski and kayak together.

If hunting is your only passion and you are your (future) wife's only passion then better split now rather than later.

 

[elkwidow]

Seriously?? The advice you give to the poor dude is that he should move on? You don't have to marry someone who shares all of your same hobbies. But you darn well better be prepared to let her go on some vacations and spend some money. Just like you did to go on all your hunting trips and buy your tags. I am not saying it has to be even. But you should let her know from the get-go that she will get to do something fun as well!

I thought i knew what hunting was all about until i married the Lawnboy...he is obsessed. If he is not doing it, he is thinking about it. I don't care if he goes.....but i want a trip or something in return since i am staying home alone watching the rugrats!

I say stick with it Calvin....just be prepared to make it semi fair!

 

[Grizzley]

Elkwidow...

Anything less than a 50/50 split doesn't seem even!

 

[Big Fin]

Seriously?? The advice you give to the poor dude is that he should move on? You don't have to marry someone who shares all of your same hobbies. But you darn well better be prepared to let her go on some vacations and spend some money. Just like you did to go on all your hunting trips and buy your tags. I am not saying it has to be even. But you should let her know from the get-go that she will get to do something fun as well!

I thought i knew what hunting was all about until i married the Lawnboy...he is obsessed. If he is not doing it, he is thinking about it. I don't care if he goes.....but i want a trip or something in return since i am staying home alone watching the rugrats!

I say stick with it Calvin....just be prepared to make it semi fair!

Elkwidow has spoken.....and spoken well.

Good thing it is only getting down to 25F tonight. Lawnboy should survive 'til it warms up tomorrow, bearing only small scars, both physical and emotional.

 

[elkwidow]

See how fair I am....I don't even ask for 50/50. He could never let me go for as long as i let him go hunting. It makes me feel better just to vent...I may even let him back in the house now!

 

[sweetnectar]

Elkwidow, is one tough barbie...I'm hoping that Big Fin leaves his garage door unlocked, a blanket, and a first aid kit for Lawnboy.

 

[Lawnboy]

I'm not heading to his house he's on the wrong side on this one. Besides I'd just be out back with Mearl the lab and I think he snores

 

[drahthaar]

Dude,

You need to flat out up and talk about this. You need to make her tell you how she feels about you being gone A LOT in the fall, and it can't be this "young blooming love BS, "oh I don't care, its what you love", blah blah blah, you need to be dead in the eyes serious in this talk you are GONNA HAVE WITH HER. I see too many guys complaining about this, acting like its some kind of surprise when their other halves are whining. Its ridiculous.

I have 2 friends that have to save up days like its part of their job to go hunting. Both are destined for divorce. They both say, SHE CHANGED. No dummy, you didn't get her to tell you the truth in the first place, or you only heard what you wanted to hear.

 

[Lawnboy]

The rut will make a man lose his hearing that's for sure. It's no wonder that we can call elk so easily in September. Makes you forget about things you've said or even heard.

 

[Calvin]

Dude,

You need to flat out up and talk about this. You need to make her tell you how she feels about you being gone A LOT in the fall, and it can't be this "young blooming love BS, "oh I don't care, its what you love", blah blah blah, you need to be dead in the eyes serious in this talk you are GONNA HAVE WITH HER. I see too many guys complaining about this, acting like its some kind of surprise when their other halves are whining. Its ridiculous.

I have 2 friends that have to save up days like its part of their job to go hunting. Both are destined for divorce. They both say, SHE CHANGED. No dummy, you didn't get her to tell you the truth in the first place, or you only heard what you wanted to hear.

I'm trying to be as brutally honest with her as I can. I'm even overdoing it just a little, to make sure things are crystal clear.

 

[drahthaar]

I'm trying to be as brutally honest with her as I can. I'm even overdoing it just a little, to make sure things are crystal clear.

Well, good man. Do what you can do! I hope she is honest with ya and things work out well. I see these friends getting divorced left and right. Its hard to find someone without all the baggage you mentioned, esp, the closer you get to 30. So if she is a good gal, great for you!

 

[cowboy]

I'm trying to be as brutally honest with her as I can. I'm even overdoing it just a little, to make sure things are crystal clear.

41 years ago I said the only thing I ask is for permission to go hunting 5 times a year with no questions asked:
Sept., Oct., Nov., Dec, and Jan.. She 's held up her end and I've held up mine.

That was long before pre-nups were even heard of.

PS: I must of had a swollen neck as I forgot about spring bear so I do eat a lot of crow every year.

Bottom line is if you both want it to work - there is a way. If one or the other decides they don't want it to work - It won't. Neither one of you are going to change so figure it out now but I'd read Lawnboy's wife's advice a couple hundred times.

 

[schmalts]

Bottom line, she has to have other interest and hobbies besides you, or she will make you and herself crazy.

Bingo. You can't be her sole source of entertainment. Lay down the law and get her trained to understand your source of happiness comes from a few weeks a year being the hunter/gatherer type. You are who you are, and if she isnt happy with the way you are she should be the one moving on, not you.
Let her know she is free to do the same type of things that do not involve you either.

 

[Khunter]

Bottom line, she has to have other interest and hobbies besides you, or she will make you and herself crazy.

+100 that is right on the mark. If it turns out her hobby is male strippers, you'll just have to buck up.

 

[belly-deep]

There's only one "hunting" and lots of women around.

I'd tell her how its going to be and see what she does. If she really freaks out, then its probably time to move on. If she says she'll try and deal with it, then you may have something there.

If she sticks it out, just make sure to make her feel like she is the #1 thing in your life, even if you would really dump her for hunting.

Then again, what do I know, I've never been married

 

[mixedbag]

My wife lets me go without much problem because if I missed archery elk hunting somewhere she knows she wouldn't want to be around me anyway.She never minds the 1st trip, but the 2nd or 3rd starts to get to her.I promised only one trip this year,but I lied.Think I'll tell her about the mule deer trip after she gets her Valentines stuff.I have to agree with elkwidow,you have to be able to let her go places in return to keep the peace.I also plan something good for the family before bringing up any hunting trips