Marital Advice

[SaskHunter]

100% attend wedding, it shows you care and can time away from hunting as it's not your "priority". We all know it is, but then you can use that as leverage next time you want to go on a wild trip.

Plus, you're not the sucker with an anniversary which falls on the opener...

 

[Huntfly]

Because I know a hunting forum is the right place…
I’m just looking for the right way to approach the situation. Wife’s brother proposed a few weeks ago (congratulations!). Today they told us they’re doing a small destination wedding, date falls on opening weekend of rifle season (why?!?). Can I get out of this without looking like an a** or do I just need to suck it up?

Thanks!

Tough one, keep a smile on your face and take like a man!!!!

 

[elkduds]

Concede, tell your wife you’ll need to take additional hunting time to make up for. Still putting her first.

Maximize the negotiation leverage:

You: "Can you believe those 2 lovestruck dunderheads instantly planned their wedding on the exact weekend of the hunt I've been planning with my boys for almost a year?"

Wife: "I doubt that was their main concern. You know how impulsive they are."

Y: "That's why we have calendars. I planned ahead, the fact they didn't puts me in a major bind. Bubba and Shooter are counting on me for this hunt. I don't want to be selfish and screw them over."

W: "But they aren't family."

Y: "The hunting brotherhood is a a bond forged in blood. Its anniversary is celebrated every autumn by millions of brothers and sisters of the hunt. We don't gather for Festivus, the Solstice or any of the Hallmark card holidays. To everything there is a season. Summer is for weddings. We convene our hunts only in the fall, in order to spend the rest of the seasons with our nonhunting families."

W: "You sound like your mind is made up, no matter how I feel about it. The newlyweds will be crushed if you miss their wedding. I'll just have to go without you. So selfish!"

Y: "If it is that vital to you, I will try to explain to the boys why I have to spoil their hunt, just this once. They will be devastated, they aren't the most understanding people. I mean, men don't take betrayals like this lightly. I'm sure I'll have to make promises for several future fall hunts. Hopefully they will not banish me from the tribe. I've heard of it happening for lesser offenses."

W: "You mean you'll change your plan and come with me to the wedding?"

Y: "Reluctantly, yes. And only because you are so understanding about me hunting every fall in the future."

W: "Baby, you're my hero. Thank you so much, I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am. I'll just have to show you. And here's a thought, maybe my brother can go hunting with you guys next year."

Y: "Great idea, honey. Oh, you know that will be his anniversary, I'm sure he'd hate to miss it."

 

[Otto Matic]

The two most important words a married man should know!

"YES, DEAR!"

All else is "em oh oh tee"! M-O-O-T!
Moot!
Crap-o-lah! The loss of one day of hunting will mean peace at home. Peace at home is in direct correlation to time afield.
Do you have any idea what all your wife has missed and rescheduled because you wanted to go hunting/fishing/shooting?

 

[GlockZ]

As some others have stated, if it's an OTC tag, go to the wedding, if it's a tag you've spent years working on getting...I'm going hunting, and knowing my wife, she wouldn't even argue with me over it, she would agree with me.

 

[LuckyTom]

I think you go to the wedding. But not because of this:

Easy. Go to the wedding. Complain only to yourself. He will be your brother in law for your entire married lives and may end up being your best friend if he is not already. There may be a time when you will need him and he will remember how much you cared....

1. in-laws mostly suck anyway. 2. He's a man and you're a man. Man don't care who comes or doesn't come to their wedding. Especially if you're both hunters, he'd probably be a bit jealous if he has to get married on a weekend he could've be hunting (although he will never admit that).


This is more accurate:

Tough one, keep a smile on your face and take it like a man!!!!

And remember you'll get bonus points from the wife for future hunts and I'm assuming there will be an open bar.

 

[Otto Matic]

Boss who owned the gun shop where I worked told his wife, "Pick a date between January and August. I don't want an anniversary getting in the way during hunting seasons."
They even planned their kids birth between Jan and Aug.
Smart man.

 

[TN2shot07]

Boss who owned the gun shop where I worked told his wife, "Pick a date between January and August. I don't want an anniversary getting in the way during hunting seasons."
They even planned their kids birth between Jan and Aug.
Smart man.

No kids yet but that’s the same conversation we had about getting married, highly recommended

 

[Rzrbk]

It's not a given that I would go. I'd weigh the facts and my knowledge/impressions of the situation. I'd certainly go if you're only missing a run-of-the-mill type opener and not a once-in-a-lifetime type tag. Every spousal situation is different as far as mutual understanding, compromise and forgiveness.

 

[Shortbowshot]

You've been handed a gift!! Use it to get yourself a better tag. Since you hafta miss this all important date

 

[Europe]

I kinda want to hear what @Europe says about this one. Bet she'd go hunting...


View attachment 187145

I admit I did not read all the posts, so this may have been already discussed.

In your poll, you show a box, for both, and that is what I would aim for-----depending on the "hunt" you have planned.

I did not want to ignore Tradewinds request for my thoughts.

Of course, the easy answer is just attend the wedding, as it pleases everybody, except you. But if you do attend, dont attend with an "attitude" If you decide to be there, then "be there". and not just physically. Enjoy yourself, you are there, it is an important event, so dont just be there physically and/or have n attitude while there. do it right!

Having said that, and I speak from experience. The wedding and reception are not long affairs. They are usually a few hours in length, with the reception taking up most of that time, and you not the father of the bride. As soon as it is over ( or even before the reception is over )--go! Even if it is at ten at night, and enjoy your hunt. We have left as soon as the function was over ( or even before ) and either drove or flew to our preplanned hunt. We have also flown back for a day/evening and then back to the hunting location after we made our required attendance to a function. We have had others go ahead of us and set up camp for us. However ! We ( my husband and I ) were doing both events ( the function and the hunt ) together, and we always found a way to make both enjoyable, and sometimes with some very funny memories.

Wishing you and your family all the best

 

[RobertD]

I actually got a save the date the other day for a wedding that falls during my tentative Colorado hunt this year. I lost it...

But for a serious answer: I would absolutely go considering it's your wife's immediate family - i.e. your immediate family.

A sheep tag or some other OIL situation, I would walk them through why I couldn't make it and then I'd go hunt. For just a general deer opener, I'd be at the wedding. If the relative was a further off one, like a cousin or aunt, I might miss it depending on the details of the hunt, but again for just a general deer opener I'm gonna be in my tie and jacket putting a hurt on the open bar and hors d'oeuvre table down in Tennessee.

I like April's idea the best. Go and get a hunting license and try and get some hunting in for a day or two. That would be fun.

 

[Crimeny]

This is what Zoom is for.

 

[jtm307]

This is a no brainer. Go to the wedding. People are more important than season openers.

 

[manitou1]

My wife knows better than to even propose something like this!
If I were getting married and my buddy, even if my best man said: " Man, I would like to but your timing sucks, I have a hunt planned... sorry". I would fully understand and go to a "Plan B". Maybe I am a turd... but that is how I prioritize. I couldn't imagine getting upset if any friends did not attend my wedding. No biggy. We all have lives and my life purpose is not to inconvenience others or to ask them to sacrifice for my reasons.
I am also from a different generation whereas people weren't as sensitive.
BTW, my wife and I have been married 25 years and I make spending time with her a priority outside of prime hunting season dates.

 

[geetar]

Court will get it done with no notice
In Montana you can actually marry yourselves, essentially you just write “We’re married” on a piece of paper and take it to the clerk to be recorded.

Wish I’d lived in Montana at the time of my wedding. That would have made things a lot easier.

 

[geetar]

I got married in November but we didn’t have the traditional bridesmaids and groomsmen just a small wedding and anyone who had wanted to skip out to go hunting wouldn’t have hurt my feelings. At the end of the day the bride and groom are married to each other and if they are upset about who wasn’t there they are missing the point that it’s about them and not the guests.

 

[BuglinDrew]

I’m not married yet but I voted wedding. I can’t imagine an OTC opening weekend is worth potentially alienating people you might be close to for the rest of your life.

 

[Happy Myles]

Go to the wedding. I have been married 57 years and have hunted all over the world many many times. Friendships and marriages should have priority. You will not regret it. Also it is good for your future luck and mental attitude.

 

[Foggy Mountain]

Idk man, I feel destination weddings are inconsiderate. You don’t have to just donate a little time and a gift but you’ve got to go way above and beyond. I’m sorry, I never go to them. It’d be hard if it was my brother but he ought to know me well enough to not do that if he wanted me there, and during hunt season to boot??????
Excuse me had to edit, I misread, wife’s brother?? No.