Marital Advice

[wyflyguy]

Only you can really answer this question, but you've got a lot of solid advice here.
Go to the wedding. No way do you get out of this without hurt feelings somewhere that will likely not ever fully recover. Ideally, you'll figure out how to do both.
Good luck!

 

[TN2shot07]

Planning a wedding in the time of COVID isn't always easy. I got married last year. Was trying to have a little wedding with 35-40 people and still got cancelled on by 2 venues.

Normally I would agree, in this case they have been engaged two weeks and elected to be married by the end of the year. That doesn’t get any sympathy from me and is a lack of planning.
I agree with the rest of your statement!

 

[Bob-WY]

So 6 months out is lack of planning? If they want to get married and have a place, planning doesn't have to be 1+ years.

 

[MT Bound]

IMO, as you age in life you realize that family comes first and missing an opening day or two for important events is not the end of the world. I lost track of the "important hunting days" I missed in the field for my kids soccer/baseball/basketball games & school events, it's irrelevant when it comes to the kids and immediate family.

Some of my best hunts have been at the end of the season not on the opener....

 

[Gr8bawana]

The OP is from TN and they have over a month long rifle season there. Missing 1 or 2 days of the season seems like a small sacrifice as opposed to sowing bad mojo with the family for who knows how long.

 

[VikingsGuy]

Wife first, all else later. The fact that we now entertain things like this in part shows why we have a 50% divorce rate - somewhere along the line "me" became more important than "we" for some of us. But your brother-in-law owes you

 

[cahunter805]

I agree with most others on this. If it was a OIL tag like a sheep or some extremely hard to draw tag I might see the point of not attending.
I say go to the wedding and have a blast. Weddings are a great time and who knows maybe you meet a relative there that owns a few thousand acres to hunt!

 

[VikingsGuy]

Weddings are a great time and who knows . . .

Great place to pickup chicks - and if that happens your wife only has her brother to blame

 

[TheTone]

I thought people did destination weddings as a way to limit the number of people that went?

 

[Deleted member 28227]

Great place to pickup chicks - and if that happens your wife only has her brother to blame

And it’s TN so like basically everyone there is fair game

 

[Steelsearchin]

"You don't take a date to a wedding, that's like taking a deer carcass out on a hunting trip!" -Charlie Sheen

When I was a kid my grandmother told me a story about how Gramps missed her cousin's wedding because they scheduled it for pheasant opener. He had said if they chose that date he wouldn't be there, and he was true to his word. He's been gone 25 years and I still look up to him.

You gotta chart your own course on this one. My two brother in laws knew me well enough not to pull a stunt like that, but I dated their sister seven years before we got hitched. Yeah, I don't rush into anything!!

In my eyes, a destination wedding is a bit of a selfish gamble as far as attendance goes. Talk it through with your wife and see if she'd be okay going with her mom (and a healthy batch of fun money). Trying to use going/not going as a bargaining chip (for either of you) probably isn't in anyone's best interest. If she's super close with her brother, you're probably screwed either way.

Best of luck!!!

 

[Boarmaster]

So 6 months out is lack of planning? If they want to get married and have a place, planning doesn't have to be 1+ years.

I would agree if it was a local wedding on a Saturday but a destination wedding can be a different animal. Especially if will require people taking off of work and vacation time. Its just a couple hr drive from home no big deal. If I did ever plan a wedding I wouldn't begrudge anyone that didn't show up that had other plans.

 

[Slate]

Go hunting

 

[Tradewind]

I kinda want to hear what @Europe says about this one. Bet she'd go hunting...

Since it is a destination wedding, you have an 'out'. If it was in town and you still wanted
to be invited for Christmas or thanksgiving dinner, you're prob stuck.
Some person in my family scheduled a wedding during an important weekend that I already
had booked (not a hunting weekend) and spent considerable cash on. I wished them luck and told them I'd see em at Thanksgiving.

 

[Cousin Basil]

Easy. Go to the wedding. Complain only to yourself. He will be your brother in law for your entire married lives and may end up being your best friend if he is not already. There may be a time when you will need him and he will remember how much you cared....

 

[Misguided]

Seems like a great opportunity to show your wife that she’s the priority. Women often question this when they see the passion that we have for hunting. The rewards could be exponential.

 

[Birddog916]

Pick your battles wisely. I say go to the wedding and skip the opener, since it is a general tag. Make sure the wife knows you've got a BIG hall pass for future hunts.

 

[LuketheDog]

Wife first, all else later. The fact that we now entertain things like this in part shows why we have a 50% divorce rate - somewhere along the line "me" became more important than "we" for some of us. But your brother-in-law owes you

Right here^

I go on most all the ridiculous outings my mother-in-law requires, including leaving this Sunday to spend a week of my July in humid, buggy, Missouri for my sister-in-law's 40th birthday...and then I cash those chips in when fall hunting seasons come around and I need babysitting...

 

[Pucky Freak]

@TN2shot07 I think a poll is in order!

 

[TN2shot07]

@TN2shot07 I think a poll is in order!

Probably should’ve started with that but ask and you shall receive!