I’ve found several great uses for toilet paper

[Deleted member 20812]

I like the Costco brand double ply for all of these ventures. Cheap, single ply government issue TP is not robust enough and you can have a colossal sheet failure. I also like nice and neat embossing, but it’s hard to find TP like that these day because kids have no work ethic.

You can do the following with good quality, well embossed, double ply TP;

1) wipe your butt after a heavy meal of ground venison with sauces on it.
2) use it to stuff up your nose after you insult a guys dog and he dots your eyes, leaving you with a nosebleed.
3) use it to stuff in your ears while you are varmint hunting with your BAR .308.
4) use it to stuff in your partners mouth if he complains incessantly about how you butchered your Savage 99 when you drilled and tapped it for scope mounts

Of course, if you’ve used the TP for use 1, don’t repurpose it for uses 2 and 3. You could go ahead and repurpose for use 4, but you might then get your eyes dotted and need some for use 2.

 

[Hem]

Terrific advise.

 

[bennirio]

You seem like you know your paper goods. What type a paper towel do you recommend? Also I'm in the market for some lip balm. Any help would be appreciated. PM me if the info is to sensitive to be posted on the internet.

 

[Doublecluck]

Only two types of hunters, those that carry tp, and those that have repurposed game bags. I recommend the Alaska brand over Allen.. heard from a friend. Yea.

 

[antlerradar]

My advice for huntalkers approaching 50 and in need of prepping for the dreaded colonoscopy. Buy the softest TP you can find. The stiff abrasive stuff may work fine if it is only needed once a day after morning coffee, But you will want something soft when you have need for TP every fifteen minutes. There are parts of the body you just do not want to get chapped.

 

[Sytes]

Let's not forget
5. MacGuyver Manpads.

As for Antlerradar's comment... Gee, thanks, brought back that unanticipated, horrific moment after I informed my Doc that my hose didn't seem to be writing my name in snow as far out as it used to.

 

[BackofBeyond]

Does it also help with people who have the audacity to shoot a rifle with a break at the public range? How about helping with the flying brass at same such public range?

 

[Blacktail Addiction]

Thank you for gracing us with your wisdom, real life saver !

 

[Wallydeuce]

Jesus

It's contagious

 

[Pucky Freak]

I like the Costco brand double ply for all of these ventures. Cheap, single ply government issue TP is not robust enough and you can have a colossal sheet failure. I also like nice and neat embossing, but it’s hard to find TP like that these day because kids have no work ethic.

You can do the following with good quality, well embossed, double ply TP;

1) wipe your butt after a heavy meal of ground venison with sauces on it.
2) use it to stuff up your nose after you insult a guys dog and he dots your eyes, leaving you with a nosebleed.
3) use it to stuff in your ears while you are varmint hunting with your BAR .308.
4) use it to stuff in your partners mouth if he complains incessantly about how you butchered your Savage 99 when you drilled and tapped it for scope mounts

Of course, if you’ve used the TP for use 1, don’t repurpose it for uses 2 and 3. You could go ahead and repurpose for use 4, but you might then get your eyes dotted and need some for use 2.

I think you’ve answered your own question

 

[BAKPAKR]

Only two types of hunters, those that carry tp, and those that have repurposed game bags. I recommend the Alaska brand over Allen.. heard from a friend. Yea.

If you carry Kifaru game bags, you should definitely also carry TP. Those suckers are slick.

 

[tarheel]

TMI!

 

[F250]

I can't believe I clicked on this thread

 

[JustinsDad]

I like the Costco brand double ply for all of these ventures. Cheap, single ply government issue TP is not robust enough and you can have a colossal sheet failure. I also like nice and neat embossing, but it’s hard to find TP like that these day because kids have no work ethic.

You can do the following with good quality, well embossed, double ply TP;

1) wipe your butt after a heavy meal of ground venison with sauces on it.
2) use it to stuff up your nose after you insult a guys dog and he dots your eyes, leaving you with a nosebleed.
3) use it to stuff in your ears while you are varmint hunting with your BAR .308.
4) use it to stuff in your partners mouth if he complains incessantly about how you butchered your Savage 99 when you drilled and tapped it for scope mounts

Of course, if you’ve used the TP for use 1, don’t repurpose it for uses 2 and 3. You could go ahead and repurpose for use 4, but you might then get your eyes dotted and need some for use 2.

Hunt talk can be something to pass time—country music opinions, funny memes, etc. Then every now and then there is a gem. True, pure wisdom. This is one of those gems but I agree with your buddy about scoping your 99.

 

[Gellar]

There are parts of the body you just do not want to get chapped.

We are all good! there’s a whole nother thread on how to cure that ailment!

 

[Nameless Range]

This is the beginning of the Proverbs of a great Bible.

Two days ago I took my boys ling fishing and forgot the Boy Scout juice to start the fire.

6) Firestarter when the kids are bellyaching

 

[AvidIndoorsman]

I like the Costco brand double ply for all of these ventures. I also like nice and neat embossing,

 

[Hem]

Riveting January...TT, a-wipe, scope prep etc. Catchiest thread title " Best blow ever".

 

[Huntkook]

 

[antlerradar]

I like the Costco brand double ply for all of these ventures. Cheap, single ply government issue TP is not robust enough and you can have a colossal sheet failure. I also like nice and neat embossing, but it’s hard to find TP like that these day because kids have no work ethic.

Are you implying that there is a difference in the point blank range of TP? If I have long arms do I have to hold high with the government issue if I am sighted in with Costco brand?