Dad Joke thread

"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator."

"A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop."

"I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind."
 
Family member - outraged or upset: I hurt _____, I did ______ or ______ and _____ or _____ happened.

Me, dead-panning: Well, don't do that again then.
 
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