DRAFTSTUD
Well-known member
HERE'S YOUR LAUGH FOR THE DAY ----ENJOY!
1. A man comes into the ER and yells ...
"My wife's going to have her baby in the cab."
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs
and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
"Big breaths." I instructed.
"Yes, they used to be." replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle , WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his medications.
"Which one ?". . . I asked.
"The patch...The Nurse told me to put on a new one
every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !"
I had him quickly undress and discovered what
I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions include removal of
the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr.. Rebecca St. Clair,
Norfolk , VA
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
"Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR
6. I was performing rounds at the
hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man I asked . . . "So how's your
breakfast this morning?"
"It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly.
I can't seem to get used to the taste." .. Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,
Detroit ,
7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . .
It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery...
When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by an RN no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . .. . . .. .. . . . .
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said...
"I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard...
"No doctor but the song you were whistling was ...
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.' "
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
(Next, This is real short...please take a moment to real this.... enjoy!)
When we get older we think differently don't we?
This is a touching story Just when you have lost faith in human kindness, someone who teaches at Kean Elementary in Wooster, Ohio forwarded the following letter:
The letter was sent to the Principals office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all
humankind. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today.
Dear Kean Elementary:
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God's way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.
Thank you for that opportunity.
Sincerely,
Agnes Baker
1. A man comes into the ER and yells ...
"My wife's going to have her baby in the cab."
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs
and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
"Big breaths." I instructed.
"Yes, they used to be." replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle , WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his medications.
"Which one ?". . . I asked.
"The patch...The Nurse told me to put on a new one
every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !"
I had him quickly undress and discovered what
I hoped I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions include removal of
the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted by Dr.. Rebecca St. Clair,
Norfolk , VA
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
"Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR
6. I was performing rounds at the
hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man I asked . . . "So how's your
breakfast this morning?"
"It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly.
I can't seem to get used to the taste." .. Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf,
Detroit ,
7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . .
It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery...
When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by an RN no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . .. . . .. .. . . . .
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said...
"I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard...
"No doctor but the song you were whistling was ...
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.' "
Dr. wouldn't submit his name...
(Next, This is real short...please take a moment to real this.... enjoy!)
When we get older we think differently don't we?
This is a touching story Just when you have lost faith in human kindness, someone who teaches at Kean Elementary in Wooster, Ohio forwarded the following letter:
The letter was sent to the Principals office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all
humankind. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today.
Dear Kean Elementary:
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God's way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.
Thank you for that opportunity.
Sincerely,
Agnes Baker
