Struggles with Dyslexia

[WildWill]

I'm hoping to accomplish two things with this post first to vent a little and second to get a some advice from anyone who's gone through this themselves.



Almost 2 years ago my daughter who will be 9 in a few days was diagnosed with dyslexia. She was a healthy baby hit all the right milestones but about the time we started in with educational stuff me and her mother both suspected something was off. We had already done all this with our son who's 18 months older so we felt we had a bit of a baseline. But we chalked it up to kids just developing differently. Then she started school and it became painfully obvious something was wrong. We got tutors and the school worked with us for her to have one on one time and extra help. In our search for answers we were directed to have her tested for dyslexia. I was in denial about the results remember arguing with my wife saying "there's no way you can say a 6 year old has dyslexia %100". I thought maybe I could solve the problem by either hard work or throwing money at it maybe a combo seems to work for a lot of things in life. Not this! My daughter is one of the sweetest people on the planet and watching her struggle just tears my heart out. I keep watching her fall further and further behind (except math my baby girl is in the top of her class for that) her peers and I don't know what to do. My only idea now is a lot of love and patience with that I truly believe my family can get through anything. Alright I'm done venting.







I'd like to hear any advice any of you have who have been in a similar situation or people who have dyslexia. If you have dyslexia looking back what do you wish your parents and educators would have done differently or if a good example the same? Will things get easier for her as she learns to manage it?




Thanks for listening hunt talk.

 

[Mudranger1]

Don't have any answers for you but truly wish her the best

 

[mevertsen]

My grandpa has dyslexia and my wife has dyslexia.

I can't really say there is a lot to be done, other than be patient.

Example, it takes my wife 2x longer to read the same item, maybe a bit more. I forget that sometimes.

My grandpa had to have tests read to him at work when he was doing his tech level increases. My grandma helped him out a lot. I know if he could copy something directly, like a receipt into his check register, he could do better than just writing "Walmart" for example.

It took my wife multiple tries to get her adult diploma because she could not pass the math proficiency test prior to regular graduation.

And make sure people are aware of what she has, so she can learn properly.

 

[Wildabeest]

No personal experience, but wishing the best for you and her Will. It’s obvious by your posts on this forum how important your kids are to you and what a great dad you are. She’s lucky to have you advocating for her!

 

[Sheltowee]

Will, I am sorry to hear this but you-- and she-- should not feel discouraged. You have to look at dyslexia like any other sort of medical condition. No one would say "I popped an ACL clean through, but I'm just going to work it harder." We would say "with proper attention and physical therapy, this will be overcome." Same here. Educate yourself on resources that are available to her and get her lined up with the proper therapy. I'd start with Oklahoma Department of Education's page (https://oklahoma.gov/education/services/special-education/dyslexia.html) and the International Dyslexia Association (https://idarmb.org/parents/). Familiarize yourself with the IEP process (https://oklahomaparentscenter.org/individualized-education-program-iep/) and what your daughter is entitled to under Federal and state law. Do not be shy about advocating for her needs in that process-- some school districts do the bare minimum to check the box rather than provide the support they are required to provide.

Some of the most intelligent people I know are dyslexic, diagnosed with ADHD, etc. etc.

 

[rogerthat]

My mom was a teacher for 40 plus years. When she retired one of my nieces was diagnosed with dyslexia. My mom made it her retirement goal to figure things out. I think where she landed was that traditional education systems are not set up to deal with dyslexia. She started tutoring every dyslexic kid around for free. I think she had good results as witnessed by the demand. My niece is headed to college next year. You would never know. Point is I bet you will figure it out.

 

[Irrelevant]

So it's a spectrum disorder that I have as well. Thankfully for me, it didn't cause too much of an issue in school because I mostly catch it pretty quickly. But yes, it takes me significantly longer to read, and I have to be incredibly focused to write with pen and paper. I will say it's gotten worse with age. I found that the program Grammerly has helped me tremendously at work. It is way better at pointing out the wrong word/phrase than the office suite is. And my friends, family, and coworkers just know that if I say something that doesn't make any sense at all, just swap out the confusing word for something that makes more sense and that's what I meant.

I would also say, don't worry too much, your daughter probably isn't falling behind at all. It just looks that way, and tests that way, but cognitively, she's probably doing just fine. And once she finds what works best for her, she'll excel.

 

[Potsie]

My sister is dyslexic, and despite being very smart she didn’t read until the 3rd grade when a teacher figured it out.

It took lots of work on her end, and she is still a very slow reader, but it didn’t stop her from becoming salutatorian in HS, and then earning bachelor’s degrees in both Biology and Nursing.

If anything, just know she’s still a bright kid, she just sees it a little different. That’s all.

 

[WildWill]

Will, I am sorry to hear this but you-- and she-- should not feel discouraged. You have to look at dyslexia like any other sort of medical condition. No one would say "I popped an ACL clean through, but I'm just going to work it harder." We would say "with proper attention and physical therapy, this will be overcome." Same here. Educate yourself on resources that are available to her and get her lined up with the proper therapy. I'd start with Oklahoma Department of Education's page (https://oklahoma.gov/education/services/special-education/dyslexia.html) and the International Dyslexia Association (https://idarmb.org/parents/). Familiarize yourself with the IEP process (https://oklahomaparentscenter.org/individualized-education-program-iep/) and what your daughter is entitled to under Federal and state law. Do not be shy about advocating for her needs in that process-- some school districts do the bare minimum to check the box rather than provide the support they are required to provide.

Some of the most intelligent people I know are dyslexic, diagnosed with ADHD, etc. etc.

We have her IEP's in place and my wife is a bulldog about making sure the school is giving her what she needs. But honestly the school has been great at working with us and is one of the better districts around. I've considered private school but have been unimpressed with the few around here. Plus my daughter loves her school, has many friends, and was not happy with the idea of a new school.







I appreciate all the responses so far except you guy's are proving my wife right . I'm probably over worrying and definitely over analyzing this kinda what I do.

 

[Pagosa]

I have dyslexia and my 14 year old year does also. I would look at it as a gift of abilities. Your daughter may have amazing abilities to train animals, work with her hands, or be really good at sports. I grew up in Oklahoma and it wasn't really detected in 70s/80s. We got my daughter a year of specialized tutoring before her school classes. The conventional way of schooling is probably really overrated anyhow. I managed to graduate college, but really prefer to work outside and/or build things. Don't let it bother you, she will be a great kid and probably stronger for it.

 

[reallyoldman]

I have had it since birth. In grade school my1st grade teacher would send me out to play during class. She would then teach me. I struggled with about everything plus I got encephalitis when I was six. My 5 brothers and sisters were always at the top of their class,,,I was dumb. I could not write until I was in 3rd grade and still have bad dreams about not being able to take notes. Somewhere around the 5th grade I figured out I was not dumb, I just processed differently than most others. My little girl friend once told me "you think differently". Long story...I learned to concentrate on things I had an interest in and minimize , as much as possible, other things. My senior year high school English teacher told me " in my 40 years of teaching you are the worst student I have ever had". No one in my family had gone to college. I was a good football player and was counting on going to college on an athletic scholarship...that was my only hope. I had worked hard in a tire shop since I was 14 and just could not face that as my life's work. I broke my back in 4 places when I was in the 10th grade during a practice scrimmage. I was the only sophomore to make the varsity 1st string. DARN that was tough. I graduated in Business Administration with a 3,6 GPA and worked about 30 hours a week during the school year. I was recruited in marketing at Caterpillar and was the only non' engineer in my group. I was ranked at the top of that group. I went on to a very successful career and owned my own business. I have been retired for 22 years.

Advise: Let your child know she is loved unconditionally but that she must take her trials knowing that she will have success in some form. Help her to learn her strengths and maximize them as much as she can. We ALL have weaknesses in ability and character. It is part of this mortal exoerience.s Be patient with yourself and those around you.

 

[WildWill]

I have dyslexia and my 14 year old year does also. I would look at it as a gift of abilities. Your daughter may have amazing abilities to train animals, work with her hands, or be really good at sports. I grew up in Oklahoma and it wasn't really detected in 70s/80s. We got my daughter a year of specialized tutoring before her school classes. The conventional way of schooling is probably really overrated anyhow. I managed to graduate college, but really prefer to work outside and/or build things. Don't let it bother you, she will be a great kid and probably stronger for it.

Her happy place is on the back of a horse.

 

[bowhuntmontana]

My 14 year-old daughter is dyslexic. It has nothing to do with intelligence, and is simply a different way that someone's mind works. Learning didn't become reading-based until within the last 150 years anyway. Schools are often very poorly prepared and equipped to support those with learning challenges, especially dyslexia, so I wouldn't count on them. You and your daughter have to become the best advocates and ambassadors for her as someone who is dyslexic. We also got connected with an incredible tutor who follows the Barton method and this has helped my daughter make incredible progress to be able to read at grade level. But dyslexia isn't something you cure - reading and writing will always be more difficult for her because of how her mind works. Accomodations are the right thing to help them excel, and this is where you have to educate the educators and be the advocates. My daughter uses text-to-speech tools and speech-to-text tools, we help her type what she dictates, and a host of other things that are within her rights. The biggest risk with dyslexia is shame, and there is no reason at all to be ashamed. I'm so many ways it is actually an advantage, a super power. My daughter is thriving and just got her first 4.0 as a freshman. With the right education about dyslexia for you, her, and her educators, she can do incredibly well.

Feel free to reach out.

 

[elkduds]

As you know, OK is terrible at providing special ed services through public schools. Non-school services for dyslexia students in Oklahoma include private tutoring and specialized programs like those offered by The Study Hub and Brain Balance, as well as free screening services provided by institutions such as Trinity School. Additionally, organizations like Payne Education Center offer resources and training for both educators and parents. Developmental psychology experts emphasize the value of early intervention for children with every kind of developmental challenge.

 

[Nick87]

This is a timely post @WildWill. No help with the dyslexia but I've got something similar and a little rant of my own. Today my wife took our 7 year old for auditory processing disorder (tested postive)
It's where there is a disconnect between what you hear and how your brain process that information basically. We have been through so many tests and specialist from speech to neurologist and on and on. It's not the end of the world and neither is your situation but as a good parent its definitely a stressful situation. He couldn't test for this until 7 years old and last week was his birthday. Ultimately with his speech and spending most of his school day with the speech therapist and special education teacher then trying to catch up at night we've decided to homeschool. When you have this (his speech therapist at school and most of the people involved in his IEP meetings rolled there eyes when we said we've done our own research and pointed to APD) you are a visual learner and reading comprehension is hard. Thats all I'll say about our dealings with school. There are some terrific people in the school system, his special education teacher for sure was one. Some others not so impressive. Just like any other field. Since homeschooling his reading comprehension has actually gotten way better. I was very reluctant when the wife brought it up. Its not for everyone but I think we made the right choice (well my wife did and I reluctantly followed). Coincidentally reading and speech are hard but he tested in the gifted range in some other areas. Similar to your daughter and math. They learn to use those strong suits. Anyhow, its not dyslexia but its a hurdle nonetheless. So you're not alone. Reach out if need be my friend..hope I didn't derail your thread that got long-winded.

 

[Nick87]

Schools are often very poorly prepared and equipped to support those with learning challenges, especially dyslexia, so I wouldn't count on them. You and your daughter have to become the best advocates and ambassadors for her as someone who is dyslexic.

My experience as well.

 

[kansasdad]

Whole language reading fortunately is fading as there is a growing trend to phonics based reading. Horton-Gillingham based systems (Barton, Alphabetic Phonics, and more recently Take Flight) teach reading with a multi sensory, structured and sequential program using phonics as reading building blocks. .

Mrs kansasdad is a reading specialist trained in classic Horton-Gillingham here in Wichita. The Phillips Fundamental Learning Center (https://www.funlearn.org/) is a nationally recognized regional training center that should be able to direct you towards OK based resources for your amazing daughter.

Lynne has said she would be happy to talk if you all ever need an experienced tutor’s perspective.

 

[Letthemgrow]

there's no way you can say a 6 year old has dyslexia %100".

Did they possibly say anything about it being hereditary?

Joking aside, if she's tops at math I bet she's smart as a whip and the specialized tutoring folks have mentioned will probably help.
She'll probably grow up to be a banker and make more money than any of us.

The love and patience you are showing her will undoubtedly help her face this challenge with far less stress than an overbearing parent.
Best of luck.

 

[Dakota79]

Being in the life of a young gal with dyslexia the Barton System in our local school has done wonders.

 

[44hunter45]

Will, I am sorry to hear this but you-- and she-- should not feel discouraged. You have to look at dyslexia like any other sort of medical condition. No one would say "I popped an ACL clean through, but I'm just going to work it harder." We would say "with proper attention and physical therapy, this will be overcome." Same here. Educate yourself on resources that are available to her and get her lined up with the proper therapy. I'd start with Oklahoma Department of Education's page (https://oklahoma.gov/education/services/special-education/dyslexia.html) and the International Dyslexia Association (https://idarmb.org/parents/). Familiarize yourself with the IEP process (https://oklahomaparentscenter.org/individualized-education-program-iep/) and what your daughter is entitled to under Federal and state law. Do not be shy about advocating for her needs in that process-- some school districts do the bare minimum to check the box rather than provide the support they are required to provide.

Some of the most intelligent people I know are dyslexic, diagnosed with ADHD, etc. etc.

This.

@WildWill My wife is a SpEd educator. She started as a primary grade reading specialist. She has identified and helped a lot of kids with reading difficulties. That doesn't make me an expert, but I have sure learned a lot by association. I've also learned not to put words in her mouth! But I think I can safely say this:

Partner with the school district and understand the IEP process and accommodations. (It seems from your posts that you are doing that. ) Then you need to monitor how the school is doing. Schools are full of all kinds of people, contract and para-pro. Most follow an IEP well, some get weird about it for their own agendas. There may be times when they need to be called out. If your daughter shows signs of additional stress after a day at school, find out why. You say she loves her school. That is a good sign that she is not encountering that kind of stress.

MRS says two of the most frustrating things for her are when the district fails, and when parents don't participate. It seems to me that you have #2 nailed. Keep doing what you are doing.