Hunting and Bipolar

Your honesty and courage to share your story will benefit others; an approach I suspect helps you. Wishing the best for you and your family.
Your honesty and ability to share your story will help yourself. I found symptoms went away greatly by accepting the fact I have depression and willing to talk about it. Was in the VA hospital with it only for a month and got sent out, it was very hard leaving. But one thing that stuck with me was the unwillingness to accept I had it. Nobody want's to be mentally ill and they avoid accepting it and talking about it. I'll talk with anyone willing and it helps me! One thing, stay up on your meds. I miss mine for three days and they leave my system and have to start pretty much all over. Don't avoid your meds and if you need to talk about it talk about it. Sounds like you have a wife very supportive! Sometimes can be a hard road but it is do able. I'd come off my med several times when I ran out and found out down the road that doing that will at some point keep full recovery away. I was medically denighed getting my commercial driver license back in about 2006 because I was diaignosed with it in 1983. First showed up in the late 1960 in the service and AF wouldn't do much, said I just needed counciling. Today I've been taking meds close to 40 yrs and when something get's me going I accept what it is and keep going, you can to. Keep in mind if the term mental illiness bother's you. Brain cancer is mental illness and not much you can do about it and doesn't take you down like bad depression.
 
I have to say that from the "outside looking in" I have true respect and admiration for those of you battling this wicked disease. As I said earlier I have a brother in law that fights the battle and has it under control. I had another friend who lost the battle to depression just over 2 years ago. Our 2020 fires took him to an all time low and he couldn't deal with it. I'm reading the responses here and can't help but think that had he had this type interaction with you all that he might still be with us. Hang tough, fight hard, you can beat this.
 
Thanks for sharing your hunts with us in the past and being open about your struggles.

Since I joined Hunt Talk I have always looked forward to your adventures. I feel I have learned a lot from following along with you and I wish the best for you as you learn how to manage your life with this new knowledge. I wish you good health. God Bless.
 
Thanks for sharing this. My middle daughter was diagnosed with bipolar last year, kid of in the middle between type 1 and 2. I’ve tried to educate myself on it since then, it seems almost like voodoo science in a way. Keep at it, lots of success stories, but also some scary ones for folks who tried to ignore it.
 
I greatly appreciate your sharing here @Pucky Freak.

One thing that helps me think about depression/bipolar is to think about insulin dependent diabetes. Prior to mankind figuring out we could harvest pig/cow insulin and inject it, the diagnosis of Type I diabetes was a 30-60 day death sentence. Now with regular monitoring and wise use of recombinant DNA produced insulin, diabetics are leading productive full lives nearly as long as non-diabetics.

If those afflicted by organ failure (pancreas in the case of diabetes) do the corrective medication program, they can live. If those afflicted by brain chemistry imbalances, (depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc) use the medication programs they can re-balance the brain. Stopping the medications will allow the imbalance/s to reassert themselves.

Multi pronged approaches to manage brain chemistry is generally better than solitary management techniques. Medication, counseling, life management skills, group therapy, and faith based applications can all work hand in hand to allow for more productive and happy lives.
 
I might offer a suggestion: give your wife the keys to the gun locker. And put all the guns in it. Put yourself in her shoes. That would, I think, give her a lot of peace of mind. Sure, there are other ways of ending one's life. But 1) few if any are as traumatic for the "finders" and 2) no one wants a loved one to live the rest of his/her life with the guilt of thinking they should have done something. In my case, I'm surprised our family physician didn't "turn me in" to the Provincial Firearms Office. They have the authority to impound the guns (usually till another family member outside the household steps up to take temporary possession). And in those days the govt knew what guns I owned because they were registered (which, incidentally, I supported). I suspect that probably would have happened had I not agreed to put my wife in control of securing my guns (by making them inoperable). But the threat of losing my guns is not what made me do it. Seeing her in tears ... well ... that was just too much. Bad enough I was fighting this terrible thing. No point in the two of us doing it. "Here ya go, honey."

Don't worry about protecting your family from home invasion. The invader is already in your home. Securing the guns is just another source of ammo to keep it from hurting the ones who love you.
 
Hunt journal for 2023 season I’m going to highlight living with disability/ mental illness. I was recently diagnosed with anxiety/PTSD, and bipolar disorder. I started treatment with medication in December, and I also have talk therapy 1-2 times a week.

I’ve had mood problems since high school, and anxiety showed up a couple years later. Symptoms are intermittent, and only rarely have been debilitating.

This changed on 11/15/22, the final 13-mile leg of packing out my bull elk. Woke at 4 AM, up and back down the mountain, struck camp, then on the road home before sunset.

Unfortunately, only a few hours later I smoked a whitetail on the highway and totaled my truck. This ended up being the last straw on top of many dozens of traumatic events I have lived through my public safety career since 2009.

The last five months have been a nightmare with symptoms. It’s been a roller coaster of two manic highs and two deep depressions. The transition from mania to depression is slow and I do get some nearly symptom-free days during that period, which is a welcome reprieve.

Treatment does help. A lot. I regret waiting so many years to start, though. I have a medication follow up
tomorrow. I’m optimistic about efficacy of treatment long-term, although it can take months or years to find the right medications.

Right now I’m getting my butt kicked by very low energy, low motivation, and leaden fatigue/paralysis. Turkey season is underway, but going hunting is not possible for me at the moment. There are still four more weeks of the season and I really hope I can get well enough to get out there, even for just a few hours. My daughter is ready to tag along now.

My wife has been amazing. She has had to be both mom and dad nearly all the time, for months, plus she’s the full-time caregiver for a family member with Alzheimer’s. On top of that, she’s told me to go hunt when I’m able to. That will be a hard gift for me to accept… My greatest desire is to give her some relief.
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My employer has been supportive of my health. This is huge, as I’d really be in hot water without that support. I’m working on getting some necessary accommodations in place, as well as intermittent FMLA for when I need it.

For the fall, I have enough points to draw WY deer. Doe antelope is a long shot. Last year for me was 100% public land hunting, and it’s shaping up to be the same this year as well.

Hunt while you can, folks. The next season is not promised.
So sorry to hear, but thank you for sharing. Your bravery will almost certainly cause a reader(s) to seek help. My thanks to all who have the courage to share their mental health challenges. My wife and I have learned a ton in the last 3 yrs given our teenage daughter's depression, anxiety and 2 suicide attempts. We were clueless at the start (and still have lots to learn even now). And we were totally shocked at how thin the mental health system really is in America. Until we all see this issue, I fear there is little chance for reform - so thanks again for giving voice to the challenge.
 
I bought a tag that's good thru 4/24. I really had to push myself to gather up my gear tonight, but I managed to toss a few essentials in my trunk - hopefully didn't miss anything too important.
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It took me an hour to get out of bed this morning, and then it was a symptom-filled day with low energy, low motivation, and brain fog. I just started on an additional med to try and help with some of this, and it causes a tremor. I think if I shoot off a rest I can get the gun steady enough though. My wife says hunting might be more motivating than some other tasks I've struggled with recently - we'll find out tomorrow 😁 My goal is to get out for 2 hours🤞
 
Good luck man!
Also, if you want some unsolicited, bad advice, don’t be afraid to try something new!
I know you’ve already done a bunch of rad shit in your life, but to quote the great Mr. 1313, “learning new things is always fun!”
You’re prob not gonna find another skiing or elk hunting, but it’s always fun to find a new hobby to obsess over and occupy your mind.
Heck somebody on here said they like to dance the tango.
Might be cool as hell 🤷‍♂️
Best wishes!
Good luck with the birds!
 
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This morning I remembered to add a turkey call, locator call, and a knife to my pack. Dutchman’s britches signal it’s still a bit too soon for morels. No turkey sign, but sitting on a stump listening to the wind in the trees feels great.
 
Glad to see you getting out and also taking the time to help and heal yourself. Looking forward to your stories this season. I love to see your stories that include your daughter getting out with you as well :)
 
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