Marshian
Well-known member
I’m posting this more to vent so thanks for allowing me the catharsis. A brief backstory is that I’m a medical professional who gave up my twenties living in major cities to achieve my degree and met my wife in the city during my last year of training. My goal was always to move to the mountain west, and we have been there for over a decade. She is very close to her mother and they are both immigrants so our smaller community lacks the immigrant population that she is very fond of and feels more at home at. I told her when we met that our current state wouldn’t have to be permanent if she grew to to dislike it which she has, then we could move.
Eleven years have passed and we now an elementary school daughter. I have made good on my word to my wife that literally any time that she or her mom wants to fly to visit each other, I will pay the ticket no questions asked. In addition, I paid cash for half her mom’s house so she could retire to the south without a mortgage and she owes me nothing in the meantime, only that I get half the house value after she passes which isn’t exactly a wise investment overall. Her mother was able to retire but hadn’t visited nearly as much as I’d hoped (about twice a year). My wife and daughter fly to her about 3-4 times a year so in total they see each other probably about 40-60 days a year, and could do more if her mother came to us more since we are limited by our daughters school year.
In addition, I paid for my wife’s education and she is now a stay at home mom who is able to volunteer at our daughters school and be with her as much as she wishes.
My current job is fantastic and jobs in the new location would be a 10-15% pay cut and/ or a 25-50% reduction in vacation not to mention having to start over with building my reputation, etc. The upside is my wife would be very supportive with me flying back to the west and also Alaska to hunt for 3-4 weeks per year albeit I would be a non-resident.
I love my wife dearly and fear that eventually this will boil down to an ultimatum and if we did split, I would defer and let her take our daughter to the new state which would probably end up making me move there anyways to see her. This is of course a horrible, worst case scenario and my wife and I love each other very much and overall are doing very well. It’s just this one pretty major sticking point. Anyways, I realize this kind of post to a hunting forum is akin to financial advice and pretty inappropriate. Mostly I just wanted to vent and air it out so thanks for the venue to do so.
Eleven years have passed and we now an elementary school daughter. I have made good on my word to my wife that literally any time that she or her mom wants to fly to visit each other, I will pay the ticket no questions asked. In addition, I paid cash for half her mom’s house so she could retire to the south without a mortgage and she owes me nothing in the meantime, only that I get half the house value after she passes which isn’t exactly a wise investment overall. Her mother was able to retire but hadn’t visited nearly as much as I’d hoped (about twice a year). My wife and daughter fly to her about 3-4 times a year so in total they see each other probably about 40-60 days a year, and could do more if her mother came to us more since we are limited by our daughters school year.
In addition, I paid for my wife’s education and she is now a stay at home mom who is able to volunteer at our daughters school and be with her as much as she wishes.
My current job is fantastic and jobs in the new location would be a 10-15% pay cut and/ or a 25-50% reduction in vacation not to mention having to start over with building my reputation, etc. The upside is my wife would be very supportive with me flying back to the west and also Alaska to hunt for 3-4 weeks per year albeit I would be a non-resident.
I love my wife dearly and fear that eventually this will boil down to an ultimatum and if we did split, I would defer and let her take our daughter to the new state which would probably end up making me move there anyways to see her. This is of course a horrible, worst case scenario and my wife and I love each other very much and overall are doing very well. It’s just this one pretty major sticking point. Anyways, I realize this kind of post to a hunting forum is akin to financial advice and pretty inappropriate. Mostly I just wanted to vent and air it out so thanks for the venue to do so.
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