What you don't want to hear from your guide?

[Elkhunter]

Saw this on another board and thought it was pretty funny.


"Hey, you happen to have a compass?"

"Yep, first time out, gotta start someplace."

 

[Whiskers]

OR.....Do you know the way back to camp??

I dunno I ain never seen a (choose one) deer, bear, elk, sheep, hog, etc.

 

[Delw]

" theres a big Deer no wait its an elk, I mean moose "


" it gets lonely up here in the mountains, I havent seen a women in 20 years"

Delw

 

[Calif. Hunter]

Guns scare me.


I'm a vegitarian.

 

[Oak]

"How the heck do you get one of these moose out of the hills?"

 

[Calif. Hunter]

First comment in the morning as you get ready to head out -

"Make sure the window's down before you shoot."

"Mind if I smoke a cigar?" (in sub zero weather in the cab of the pick up.)

 

[2fastnaz]

You got a purdy mouth.

 

[Ward M. Clark]

"I just ain't worth a damn in the morning 'til I've downed my first quart of Old Stump-Blower."

 

[Elkhunter]

Want to join me for a hit off the ole bottle?

This is my first time in the mountains, how bout you?

 

[Hunterman]

This is my son Billy Boy,,he'll help guide..This is his mom, my sister,,she's the camp cook..We is getting married after huntin' season..

Hunterman(Tony)

 

[Elkhunter]

We need to hurry because I have a date tonight. By the way, I hope you don't mind sharing a sleeping bag.

 

[cjcj]

I think i shit my pant`s, do you have any toilet paper, and do you have a knife i want to bury it!

 

[Elkhunter]

When you get back to camp, tell the boss I quit.

 

[Hunterman]

You don't have any extra underwear do ya??Your used ones will fit fine if ya don't..

Hunterman(Tony)

 

[Hunterman]

I've got me one damn nice trophy there..Thats the largest animal I've ever seen...You didn't shoot too?? Did you??

Hunterman(Tony)

 

[Hunterman]

We start hunting around here at 10:00..You take this spotlight,I'll drive, and you get to hunt the first hour..

Hunterman(Tony)

 

[Hunterman]

Alright folks,,I'm going to pass the hat for gas money...There is a lot of roads up here to hunt..

Hunterman(Tony)

 

[Elkhunter]

Horses? What horses? That's why I brought the truck.

 

[Elkhunter]

You got a map?

 

[Hunterman]

What the hell do you mean it's not deer season..

Hunterman(Tony)