What Women Really Mean

Quick Draw

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What common words, phrases, and sounds actually mean, when a woman says them...

FINE: This is the word we use at the end of any agrument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING: This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backward. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (normall eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in jsut a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at theat moment and wonders why she is wastign her time standing here arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that you can actually understand. She is content. YOur best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

OH: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "oh let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to so and so about what you were doing last night". If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. Shew ill tell you that she is "Fine" when she is doen tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days.

OH (as the lead to a sentence): Usually signifies that you are in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go Ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

THAT'S OK: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say. "That's Ok" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retrinutions for wahtever it is that you have done. "That's Ok" is often used witht he word "Fine" and used in conjuction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she ahs plotted and planned, you atre going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tel the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Ok".

THANKS: A woman thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT: This much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her is some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", she will only tell you "Nothing".

I hope this clears up any misunderstandings...
Quick Draw
 
NO. Ambiguous; possibly maybe, yes in a minute, or possibly I'm calling 911! :confused:
 
"Do whatever you want"- Your in big time trouble, because you are about to do what YOU want, but she's made other plans, which you weren't informed of, but you better D**n well do it!
 
LMAO Moosie. :D

"Thank you SO much."-Thank you for insulting me in some indiscernable fashion because now I get to make your life a living hell for the next week or so while you try to figure out what you said. A more irate version of "thanks a lot."
 
hey quickdraw, i didn't see a mention of the silent treatment? that's my favorite. i think it means we won the argument this time> :D :D :D :D :D
 
I get the SIGH all the time. She wanted to go shopping for her birthday, so I took her to Cabelas. Is it my fault in a store that big, with that much stuff, she couldn't find anything she liked? I think she is just to particular. I pointed out that trip cost me over $100.00. She just SIGHED.... again.
 
I had a hard time communicating with the wife so I asked her to put it in writing.
hump.gif
She did! The Sheriff delivered it! :eek:
 
"Do what you like" This is one that really doesn't mean what is said, you will have a cold welcome to come home to if you really do what you would like.... ;)
 

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