Ultimate Marriage Test

[BackofBeyond]

I can spend ten minutes trying to point out an animal on an open hill side and my wife never see them. Garage sale sign, she will spot them five blocks down a side street.

To be fair, that door swings both ways. My wife always complains that I can see an elk or a deer on a hillside miles away, but can’t see the pickles behind the mustard in the fridge.

 

[antlerradar]

To be fair, that door swings both ways. My wife always complains that I can see an elk or a deer on a hillside miles away, but can’t see the pickles behind the mustard in the fridge.

been there

 

[Hem]

I can spend ten minutes trying to point out an animal on an open hill side and my wife never see them. Garage sale sign, she will spot them five blocks down a side street.

^^^total modern day version of men dial in on game, women gather berries.
Running joke in our house.

 

[EYJONAS!]

I can spend ten minutes trying to point out an animal on an open hill side and my wife will never see them. Garage sale sign, she will spot them five blocks down a side street.

Trust me I've heard the stories haha

 

[trb]

Absolutely.

Just like when your wife is really looking forward to going as Frida Kahlo and and you going as Diego Rivera to her coworker’s Halloween party, but you know in your heart that matching Halloween costumes are for suckers, so you shave off your beard (the one your wife has never seen you without in over 10 years of marriage) put on some makeup and a dress, and come out of the bathroom as “Mrs. Krinklesworth, The Substitute Teacher.” And for some reason she’s not cool with it.

Everyone can relate to that.

View attachment 224834

That is an absolutely beautiful family photo.

 

[antlerradar]

Trust me I've heard the stories haha

Yesterday she got up at 3:30 and left the house at 4:30 so she could hit the Briarwood community sales that opened at 7:00 am. Your wife need a yards sale partner?

 

[noharleyyet]

I can spend ten minutes trying to point out an animal on an open hill side and my wife will never see them. Garage sale sign, she will spot them five blocks down a side street.

*imagine a game alert that pops up on your phone or Apple Watch. Yep…

 

[EYJONAS!]

Yesterday she got up at 3:30 and left the house at 4:30 so she could hit the Briarwood community sales that opened at 7:00 am. Your wife need a yards sale partner?

Hard no

 

[OntarioHunter]

Christmas shopping was right behind yard sales for trying my patience. A close run thing. At least the yard sales were outside. Spending all day elbow to elbow in stale shopping mall air wiped me out.

 

[ammo]

Absolutely.

Just like when your wife is really looking forward to going as Frida Kahlo and and you going as Diego Rivera to her coworker’s Halloween party, but you know in your heart that matching Halloween costumes are for suckers, so you shave off your beard (the one your wife has never seen you without in over 10 years of marriage) put on some makeup and a dress, and come out of the bathroom as “Mrs. Krinklesworth, The Substitute Teacher.” And for some reason she’s not cool with it.

Everyone can relate to that.

View attachment 224834

This is amazing

 

[220yotekiller]

Loading cattle, stacking small square bales, and loading pigs in a dilapidated horse trailer...WIfe reading over my shoulder as i type this....

 

[WestKyHunt]

If you want to stay married, keep away from kayaks - The Boston Globe

Paddle at your own peril, happy loving couples.

www.bostonglobe.com

On our honeymoon to the Bahamas I convinced my wife that tandem kayaking would be a great idea. Especially since the bottoms are clear and see through.
The guide goes over how to paddle and the details of the trip. I explain to her that I will paddle in a steady rhythm and she just needs to match it with me. After about 5 minutes of her paddle hitting mine, patience was lost. I told her to put the paddle down and I will do all the work, as it is better than her dang paddle hitting mine every 3 seconds.
Probably ended up traveling a mile round trip, and I can't be the guy lagging behind if I want to keep my man card. So I'm fighting for my life, giving it all I got to keep up with what would normally be a very nice steady pace.
I know why nobody else picked a tandem now

 

[220yotekiller]

There is really nothing like “splitting the driving” on a 34 hour trip and by split I mean I got the joy of 33 hours behind the wheel and 0 hours in charge of the radio.

Nope in our trucks, the person who is driving gets first choice on the radio and first shot at the snacks.

 

[RobG]

I can spend ten minutes trying to point out an animal on an open hill side and my wife will never see them.

That's too funny, and the conversation is usually like
"It's next to the tree."
"The hill side is covered in trees."
"You see that rock? It's the tree just to the right."

Etc. But it's about 50/50 on who's trying to see the deer.


Teaching skiing, rowing, or flycasting is a test. I was trying to teach my wife how to ski powder and she fell and twisted her knee. We went to the lodge to warm up and she insisted I go out and enjoy the rest of the powder day. Ten F'n years later she tells me what a rotten person I am because of that time I left her in the lodge and went skiing!

At least I knew enough not to say "No friends on a powder day."

 

[Hem]

That's too funny, and the conversation is usually like
"It's next to the tree."
"The hill side is covered in trees."
"You see that rock? It's the tree just to the right."

Etc. But it's about 50/50 on who's trying to see the deer.


Teaching skiing, rowing, or flycasting is a test. I was trying to teach my wife how to ski powder and she fell and twisted her knee. We went to the lodge to warm up and she insisted I go out and enjoy the rest of the powder day. Ten F'n years later she tells me what a rotten person I am because of that time I left her in the lodge and went skiing!

At least I knew enough not to say "No friends on a powder day."

Yeah, fly casting is a test.
Mostly because I am a rotten teacher and get annoyed.

 

[Gerald Martin]

Yeah, fly casting is a test.
Mostly because I am a rotten teacher and get annoyed.

Getting annoyed in the process seems to be a big “no,no”. Anyone else notice this?

 

[antlerradar]

I notice home improvement projects are near the top of the list of marriage tests. HGTV is the root of this evil. That channel has got to be a conspiracy between divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.

 

[Irrelevant]

On our honeymoon to the Bahamas I convinced my wife that tandem kayaking would be a great idea. Especially since the bottoms are clear and see through.
The guide goes over how to paddle and the details of the trip. I explain to her that I will paddle in a steady rhythm and she just needs to match it with me. After about 5 minutes of her paddle hitting mine, patience was lost. I told her to put the paddle down and I will do all the work, as it is better than her dang paddle hitting mine every 3 seconds.
Probably ended up traveling a mile round trip, and I can't be the guy lagging behind if I want to keep my man card. So I'm fighting for my life, giving it all I got to keep up with what would normally be a very nice steady pace.
I know why nobody else picked a tandem now

I managed to arrange to camping trip with my HS unicorn just after graduation, and made the mistake of setting us up in a tandem. Every paddle stork she ended it with a little "flick" that placed a perfect stream of seawater right across my face.

Also thinking it would be a great idea to split the responsibility, I gave her the map and compass. So after about 15 minutes she basically stopped paddling all together and would just point left, so I'd angle that way, then she'd point right, so I'd angle that way, then back left... and so on for 6-ish hrs. And each time she issued to revised direction she'd act like I was a total idiot, at first with sarcasm... then not.

We survived the trip but it turns out I don't like unicorns anymore

 

[longbow51]

I notice home improvement projects are near the top of the list of marriage tests. HGTV is the root of this evil. That channel has got to be a conspiracy between divorce attorneys and marriage counselors.

My wife used to watch HGTV while she was ironing shirts. Decided to send all shirts to commercial laundry. Much cheaper.

 

[BackofBeyond]

WIfe reading over my shoulder as i type this....

Change your profile picture to a pepperoni pizza if you need law enforcement, sunset for ambulance, or coffee cup if she is holding you hostage.