Too Much??

[DGF]

Let me throw a fresh perspective in on all of this. First off, I'm 18 and a freshman in college studying fire sciences. I started working 18 hours a week at age 14 during the school year and about 30 during the summer. It bought me my first car and paid the insurance and gas. I earned what I got. I did fairly well in school by my parents using a punishment approach, not by being bought off. Before 16 I couldn't drive, and if I didn't do well, I didn't get rides to go hunting, simple as that. I did however get some assistance during the school year when older with my car insurance as long as I was participating in a school sport which would cut on my hours at work. That helped alot, both in terms of my grades and staying out of trouble.

Now I'm 18, and as long as I'm still a full time student in college I won't be getting the boot from my house. That is more than fair to me, especially seeing that I would have to work far more hours (currently working 37 hours/week) to make it in the real world and stay a full time student. I was never given cash in hand for doing what should be expected. Instead I was given a 'price break' if I went the extra mile.

I've had friends that were bough off with cash in hand and they blew it. I'll guarantee if you put 250 bucks in a teens hands he'll have it spent before it reaches his wallet. Instead of cash in hand try paying them with gas cards, gift certificates to clothing stores, and other things that they need.

Just my .02

 

[pawclaws]

The important thing is not how much or how often; but, why and what the kids are learning from it. If one provides a subsistence allowance for one's child then the child should learn about budgeting, priorities, meeting obligations, etc. If one provides one's child a wage then the child should be learning things about meeting expectations, responsibility, following instructions, planning, scheduling, etc. If one provides a "bonus" for doing well, then the standard must teach what is expected and qualifies as acceptable, marginal, substandard, or superior performance in a clear and measurable manner. This standard must include the input of the child less the child erroneously believe that life is about living up to someone else's expectations. One's child should never learn that making a mistake or even failure is totally unacceptable or unforgiveable. Finally one must never deny the needs of one's child because of a perception of poor performance or failing to meet one's expectations. "One is always glad to serve."