Caribou Gear Tarp

Spit takes

gouch

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Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
838
Location
SW Oregon
What are some of the lines you have heard or read that have cause one of those unfortunate uncontrollable blasts just as you took a drink right at the wrong moment?

We had been working on a hot day in early July when we stopped in at a small-town Mom and Pop store for something cold to drink on the drive back to the office. The cashier was a very attractive 30 something young woman. The customer ahead of me in line was an elderly local woman. As is usual in these small towns they had to gab all throughout the transaction. The elderly woman asked the cashier if she was going to the lake on the fourth of July. The cashier said that she wasn't sure if she could take another night at the lake. The lady laughed and said "Yeah, I heard you had a pretty good time up there last weekend." I decided to take a sip of my drink just as the cashier responded. "All I remember is I woke up completely naked with my feet in the lake and my crack full of sand." That's all she wrote, soda everywhere.
 

Birdbander

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Joined
Aug 26, 2020
Messages
133
Location
Langston, Michigan
What are some of the lines you have heard or read that have cause one of those unfortunate uncontrollable blasts just as you took a drink right at the wrong moment?

We had been working on a hot day in early July when we stopped in at a small-town Mom and Pop store for something cold to drink on the drive back to the office. The cashier was a very attractive 30 something young woman. The customer ahead of me in line was an elderly local woman. As is usual in these small towns they had to gab all throughout the transaction. The elderly woman asked the cashier if she was going to the lake on the fourth of July. The cashier said that she wasn't sure if she could take another night at the lake. The lady laughed and said "Yeah, I heard you had a pretty good time up there last weekend." I decided to take a sip of my drink just as the cashier responded. "All I remember is I woke up completely naked with my feet in the lake and my crack full of sand." That's all she wrote, soda everywhere.
The first thing out ot your mouth shouldn't have been soda, it should have been, "Would you like to see my new boat!"
 

OntarioHunter

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
4,000
What are some of the lines you have heard or read that have cause one of those unfortunate uncontrollable blasts just as you took a drink right at the wrong moment?

We had been working on a hot day in early July when we stopped in at a small-town Mom and Pop store for something cold to drink on the drive back to the office. The cashier was a very attractive 30 something young woman. The customer ahead of me in line was an elderly local woman. As is usual in these small towns they had to gab all throughout the transaction. The elderly woman asked the cashier if she was going to the lake on the fourth of July. The cashier said that she wasn't sure if she could take another night at the lake. The lady laughed and said "Yeah, I heard you had a pretty good time up there last weekend." I decided to take a sip of my drink just as the cashier responded. "All I remember is I woke up completely naked with my feet in the lake and my crack full of sand." That's all she wrote, soda everywhere.
"Which crack?" Sorry, I just couldn't resist.
 

Redman

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Joined
Mar 31, 2017
Messages
1,347
Location
Indiana
A coworker and I met for a drink after a long hot day working out in the middle of a construction site. We were setting at the bar and right when Carl was taking a drink I told the lady bartender "If Carl gets to stink"n" let me know and I'll have wait in the truck!" Carl shot beer out his nose and moth clear back to the mirror behind the bar! I am not sure which was funnier the explosion of beer from Carl or the look an the bartenders face.
 

rwc101

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 9, 2019
Messages
3,880
Location
WY
I wish I could remember what made me shoot strawberry milk out my nose in the 3rd grade. Probably wasn't funnier than pink milk shooting out my nose and across the cafeteria table.
 

LuketheDog

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 29, 2015
Messages
3,384
Location
Sedalia, Colorado
We were at my buddy's grandparents' ranch after hunting ducks on their pond one morning. His grandad, Darwin, had been diagnosed with kidney stones a day or two before and was suffering a bit. His grandma was pouring us some coffee to go with her fantastic from-scratch breakfast she made every time we were there, because she loved us kids, but she was not as empathetic when it came to her rancher husband. She suddenly cocked her head to the side, looks at us with a kooky grin, and says "Listen up boys, I just heard the bathroom door close, I bet Darwin is in there about to drain the pipes, if one of those stones comes out his peeper you're going to hear him singin' like one of those high-pitched Italian opera ladies". I freaking died! :ROFLMAO:
 

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