Sh*t our kids do

[WildWill]

Has anyone else taught their kids to get to get them a fresh beer? When my boy sees me put my can in the recycle box he asks do you want a beerd with cows (spotted cow) or mountains (coors light)!

That's why I had kids!

 

[Frequently Banned Troll]

Has anyone else taught their kids to get to get them a fresh beer? When my boy sees me put my can in the recycle box he asks do you want a beerd with cows (spotted cow) or mountains (coors light)!

My daughter got me a beer bell for Christmas a couple years ago..

 

[nhenry]

My kid's only 11 months old but she's recently discovered that she can 1) stand anywhere, anytime (and starting to walk with her little walker thing) and 2) thinks "no" is synonymous with "yeah, do that."

 

[Gellar]

My daughter got me a beer bell for Christmas a couple years ago..
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I know what I’m asking for for Father’s Day!

 

[Sawtooth]

Middle School teacher here. Take five or six of the above mentioned stories, put them together in one day, and you have just described my average Monday.

 

[CPAjeff]

One year, about a week before Christmas, my then-two-year-old-daughter and I went to the store to grab something. The gentleman behind us in the checkout line was probably pushing 350 lbs, had long white hair, a long white beard, and a red hoodie on. My two year old screamed, "Look Daddy, Santa!!"

Everyone else in the store started laughing but ol' Saint Nick. He started to cuss me out for my daughter calling him Santa. Needless to say, a fight nearly ensued. Upon arriving home, my wife asked how the store was and my daughter said, "Daddy about fought Santa."

I had a little explaining to do...

 

[JShane]

One year, about a week before Christmas, my then-two-year-old-daughter and I went to the store to grab something. The gentleman behind us in the checkout line was probably pushing 350 lbs, had long white hair, a long white beard, and a red hoodie on. My two year old screamed, "Look Daddy, Santa!!"

Everyone else in the store started laughing but ol' Saint Nick. He started to cuss me out for my daughter calling him Santa. Needless to say, a fight nearly ensued. Upon arriving home, my wife asked how the store was and my daughter said, "Daddy about fought Santa."

I had a little explaining to do...

we'll do anything for our daughters. Add willing to fight santa to the resume.

 

[ThunderNocked]

OK! HAHA, we have 5 kiddos and there are to many things to count over the years. Off the top of my head here are two:
Prior to moving to North Pole, AK we lived in Juneau, AK where my wife grew up. It is a Boreal Rainforest and gets over 200" of rain a year and the year we left they saw the sun 13 days that whole summer. Well one day as we were driving my kids kept suddenly screaming in an angry voice yelling something like "OWIE!" and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I started watching them (I can't remember if I was driving or my wife) and finally one of them did it again and i realized my beautiful inteligent little buggers were SCREAMING AT THE SUN! I snapped "HEY! Don't yell at the sun or it might go away again! We be nice to the sun! Just don't look at it" .... my wife stared at me in shock and started laughing. Darn kids didn't know how to handle the sun!
My Youngest is now 6 - and about a year and a half ago she started running up and hugging us then saying "Don't worry I will never EVER forget about you"...... I SHOULD HOPE NOT! What the heck child!!!!

 

[ThunderNocked]

Oh, and we never did Santa Clause - my kids friend asked "What did you ask Santa for this year" to which he replied "Saint Nicholas is Dead... Why would we ask him for anything?"
The other parents were very angry and mortified.... I had to try to teach my 6 year old that we just smile and nod when someone asks us like that

 

[Dave N]

Oh, and we never did Santa Clause - my kids friend asked "What did you ask Santa for this year" to which he replied "Saint Nicholas is Dead... Why would we ask him for anything?"
The other parents were very angry and mortified.... I had to try to teach my 6 year old that we just smile and nod when someone asks us like that

Kind of rough now that you live in North Pole!

 

[WildWill]

My daughter got me a beer bell for Christmas a couple years ago..
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I know what I'm asking for this Christmas.

 

[ThunderNocked]

Middle School teacher here. Take five or six of the above mentioned stories, put them together in one day, and you have just described my average Monday.

You are a saint. haha

 

[ThunderNocked]

Kind of rough now that you live in North Pole!

HAHA, my kids think it is funny. We even go to the Santa Clause House where they have a ton of stuff but my kids laugh about the long line of people waiting to take pictures with Santa.

 

[Sawtooth]

You are a saint. haha

I must admit, there are day's that I wonder what in the world did I get myself into. But for the most part, I wouldn't change a thing. I never have to worry about having, "just another boring day at the office", that is for sure.

 

[Dave N]

HAHA, my kids think it is funny. We even go to the Santa Clause House where they have a ton of stuff but my kids laugh about the long line of people waiting to take pictures with Santa.

Yeah, it's quite the tourist attraction. Even bigger after the remodel. Stopped there a couple Christmases ago and took a pic from the side of the room. Then proceeded out to the ice sculptures. Something about -20 kept the crowds down!

 

[Jack Ryan]

The years we got to live in my home town around everyone else was pretty cool. I'll always be grateful for what we did enjoy. One Christmas the kids were still little, doing the whole Santa Claus thing but getting skeptical but still not wanting to blow the whole toy thing... my brother didn't have any kids yet. He got a Santa suit and came over just as the kids were getting up and sat in the living room in front of the tree. My boy started down first and still at the top of the stairs he stops, looks, runs up stairs and gets his sister and they are both standing at the top of the stairs watching and Santa put down his plate of cookies, acts like he JUST saw them and then out the front door with out a word!

You could have heard a pin drop.

They STILL don't know who it was. Saying it was grampa but knowing there is no way. Grampa couldn't fit in that suit or move out the door that fast.

 

[mtnrunner260]

No words...

 

[crock239]

I got a chuckle from the schoolwork my youngest (kindergarten) brought home in December...



In case the photo is hard to see, the writing assignment was

Question: What do you think snowmen do at night?

My kids answer: I think that snowmen stay stil (evrebudy nowe's that) at night.

She's not wrong...

 

[270.Rose]

When the boys were 5, 3 and 1 we had an 8+ hour drive to visit my husband's family and decided to leave about 3am to try and get there with some of the day left to enjoy the visit. Naturally children awake at that hour wouldn't dream of falling back asleep in the truck, so to calm some of the nonstop chattering my husband started pointing out constellations. He explained to them that we should be very thankful that we get to see the stars, because some kids grow up in big cities with lots of streetlights which block out the stars and so they don't get to enjoy the beautiful night sky. I'm mm-hmm'ing in agreement with him and admiring the stars too. What got lost in translation I'm not quite sure, but the next morning at my in-laws' house I'm in the other room and hear my oldest son informing my mother in law in a very serious tone that "we shouldn't go outside at night because Mommy won't let us look at the stars At ALL!" It took some explaining to clarify the whole conversation for my baffled mother in law!

 

[Brauee20]

There's goes the hunting budget...

The conversations so far between the kids in the paddock can be pretty hilarious. Exaggerations that would make a fisherman blush. Enjoying it now before we get to the hyper competitive stage.