Hi JoMo, I'm Sytes' wife. Although I haven't parented a Type 1 diabetic child, I can offer advice from your daughter's perspective. I've been Type 1 myself for 37 years, diagnosed at age 1. The advances in technology are far greater than what we had back in the '80s, so that's the great news for your family. For me, growing up in a small town, I was the only diabetic until another friend was diagnosed when I was 12. It can definitely make for some frustrating and lonely times as a kid when no one else understands why you're passed out in the nurse's office or the only one sidelined from basketball practice, waiting for a low blood sugar to come back up, but my parents did everything they could to make sure that everyone treated me as normally as possible and never let diabetes be an excuse to stop me from doing something. I'm eternally grateful for that as that mentality has allowed me to go on some crazy adventures that I would have regretted missing out on. It might take a little more planning and preparation, but don't be afraid of diabetes or let it stand in her way (I hate that diabetes can be classified as a disability -- it only disables you if you let it). If you have other kiddos, never treat her any differently because of it. Do everything you can to make sure she grows up knowing it's just something to manage to stay healthy, but there's no reason it should ever stop her from anything she wants to do. My dad has said that it was huge battle for them to get other family members, especially grandparents, to not treat me any differently because of it for years after I was diagnosed, so you might have to work at it to get others to do the same.
Although it may not seem like good news for your daughter now, it will be helpful that she's diagnosed so young because she'll only grow up knowing how to manage it. It was much harder for my 12-year old friend when she was diagnosed because it was very life-altering for her, and to this day she continues to struggle to control it and live a healthy life. As a parent, it will be your job to educate everyone around her (extended family, child care providers, teachers, parents of friends, coaches, etc) to ensure that someone is always watching out for her. As she gets older, teach her to manage it herself as early as possible rather than managing it for her. She'll need to make mistakes and figure it out while still having you to help her. I was a pretty responsible kid and think I was in 5th grade when my mom turned over the reigns and let me make decisions myself (under her watchful eye, of course).
Get a good support system for her, with friends and their parents, and make it as normal as possible. When I was a kid and had a sleepover, when it was time to check my blood sugar, everyone got to check their blood sugar, regardless of whose house we were at (maybe something to incorporate at home with your family while she's getting used to it?). Since no one else knew anything about it, it made it a little less awkward to talk about if others got to experience it a little, too, and then I didn't feel as much like I was the odd one. There are a lot of misconceptions out there (the one thing I've always heard is "Really? You don't look like a diabetic!"), so educating those around her and normalizing it for her will be helpful. Most people don't understand that Type 1 and Type 2 are not the same thing, and that Type 1 is not caused by inactivity or obesity. Get used to explaining this to people often.
I won't lie, it's a challenging disease, and there will be some very scary moments that will make you terrified to let her out of your sight, but all you can do is learn from those things and make modifications to prevent them from happening again. The disease changes over time and can be very unpredictable; something that works today may not work tomorrow, so you just have to keep tweaking things as you go. Find an endocrinologist who really listens to you and hears what you're saying because you're the one who knows your daughter better than anyone else. You'll know when the frustration has been enough and it's time to try something new, and it's ok to say no if your endo suggests something new and you or your daughter just aren't ready to try it yet. My own experience shows that science can't always explain why I react the way I do sometimes, and accepting that diabetes is not an exact science will make this easier. In theory, certain insulin dosages and carb ratios should work, but sometimes they just don't, so expecting the unexpected and knowing that this can often be trial and error will help you be prepared (although it doesn't make it any less frustrating). My own kiddo has some special needs (not diabetes-related), and it's really difficult as a parent to know that they're struggling and not be able to just fix it for them. For younger kids, though, they're not nearly as aware of the struggle they're having with it as you. The best you can do might not seem like it's enough, but it is, and it is in her mind, too.
Pumps and Continuous Glucose Monitors are great tools. Not all young kids can handle the tubing that comes with a pump, but there are several parents of young kids on some of the diabetes forums that I'm part of that use CGMs for their little ones. It's personally been a life-saver for me (both literally and figuratively) and you'll sleep better at night. I use the Dexcom, which has the ability for you to monitor her glucose levels when she's not with you. I imagine this will be incredibly helpful for both of you when she starts school (many insurance companies will cover a CGM under their prescription plan instead of as durable medical equipment, which is much cheaper for you, but you have to ask for the prescription plan coverage and it requires a different prescription from your doctor). Also ask about Baqsimi, an inhalable glucagon that's much easier for an inexperienced person to administer than injectable glucagon if she experiences a severe low. When she gets a little older, there are week-long summer camps in most states for diabetic kids, managed by doctors and nurses. I went many times as an elementary and middle-schooler, and it was a great experience to get to know other kids dealing with the same thing. My mom admits that she was a nervous wreck for the entire week the first time I went, so it was also good for her to see I could be away from home for a bit and still be fine.
Best of luck to you and your family as you go through this. Feel free to message if you have questions or just need to chat, I'm happy to share!
