Parking Lot Mushrooms

rtraverdavis

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My wife’s car broke down right as she was leaving work this evening, so the kids and I had to go get her. While we were waiting in the parking lot for the tow truck to arrive, I looked over into a strip of landscaping and saw strange conical shapes protruding from the ground. Holy moly! Those are morels—right there next to the sidewalk! I hopped out of the truck and picked them all.

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My question is, beyond the obvious possible nasties that these morels could have been exposed to—dog piss, pesticides, a homeless dude’s vomit—is there anything I should be particularly concerned about with eating these? My wife already said she’s a hard pass, but unless you guys tell me that there have been multiple studies linking parking lot morels with Early Onset Alzheimer’s or your toes falling off or something, I’m eating these on top of my last piece of elk backstrap this weekend.
 
I have heard many times that mushrooms of all types concentrate pesticides, heavy metals and toxins from their environment into their “fruiting body”. The above ground parts are a small minority of the actual mass of the organism... its “roots” the mycelium, extend a great distance into the surrounding soil to draw nutrients. They do not grow in the same way as plants through photosynthesis. So “earthy” is appropriate. I highly doubt that a small meal or two would make much of a difference in your lifespan or IQ but probably wise to search out “greener pastures” in the long run.
 
Guy Fieri has Triple D.... Randy with Triple P. I can see it now on the Food Network! Randy drives up in a vintage Ford Bronco to the parking lot of UO frat row, wades through the crushed beer cans, vomit, and assorted excrement pulling shrooms. Looking at the camera and says “Tonight on Triple P we’re foraging the backs lots of the Mighty Ducks!”

You’re gonna be a star buddy! 😉👍🏻
 
Do you care to elaborate on the recipe? Looks like some pasta, asparagus, grated Parmesan cheese and morels? It looks delicious and not to difficult. If you don’t have a name for the recipe it could be asphalt morels or triple p morels.
You bet! (I figured the morels were the items of interest, so didn’t include the rest of the info last night.)

For the elk/morel portion, my daughter helped me pound flat the last of my 2019 cow with a mallet until it was about 1/4” thick. Then we rubbed it with salt, pepper, and flour. I cooked that in hot butter for about a minute and a half on each side.

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The morels I just sliced into big chunks and also cooked with butter, salt, and pepper.

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The pasta is my daughter’s favorite meal: Italian sausage, garlic, bell & poblano peppers, asparagus, and spinach over rotini. Usually with a goodly portion of Parmesan and red pepper flakes. I cook the sausage up first, then set aside (elk sausage is best but that’s been gone from my house for months.) In the same pan, I cook the onion and peppers pretty hot with some olive oil. When those start to get a little brown on the edges, I added the asparagus, garlic, and salt and pepper. Cook for another 8 minutes or so while the pasta boils. I like my pasta pretty al dente. Right before the pasta is finished cooking I throw the spinach in with the veggies, as well as the sausage. Rinse the pasta in cold water and drain, then I toss the whole concoction together.
 

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