Hunting vs Real life question??

[Delw]

She went off about how sometimes I have to live in the real world instead of my own world,

typicle women always caring about themselves and their feelings,
you have only been married for to years so she is still breakable, dont let her get into bad habits.

first thing first, sit her ass down and tell her she is only allowed one feeling per day and she cant use the same feeling for a whole month. any other feelings will be ignored. if you tell her this now then when she says "Well I dont remember you telling me this before" you can immediatly call BS. I would advise you to tape the conversation and make mutliple back ups of the tapes, they tend to get broken when they are thrown at you

Right now she's kinda got you, she is probally pissed and your just not going to get any for awhile so except that( in a year or 2 you will get it less and less anyway so this would be a good training exersize)


Good luck and when you wake up in the morning tell her you would like first class seats

 

[JASON LEE]

So did you man up, or are you going to be eating salads in cali?

 

[Whiskers]

I been married for 34 years, somethings you stand up for, others you cave to. 3 weddings in 6 years, you have to stand up. This is not a special event anymore, more like a bbq, and your gonnna miss a few of them.

 

[brokfut]

My annniverary is Oct 17th. I think I have been home for about 5 of those in 37 years. "It ain't no big deal". You have to train the wife early. If you let things get out of hand this early in your marriage it will just get worse in the years to come.

 

[FLIPPER]

HAHAHA...my 1st wife was lost to hunting!!!

Present wife of 15 years...is great and loves for me to be gone on trips!!! Can't imagine why

My advice is.....about the time she bounces off the last step, hit her in the back of the head with her suitcase and tell her to have a nice trip!

 

[Highcountry]

Thanks for all the replies guys, I talked her out of booking the plane tickets this weekend. That will buy me more time to work on her. One thing I didnt mention in my first post is that she feels that I dont like her family anyway(which isnt too far from the truth but beside the point) and she says that this just confirms where I stand. I did tell her that when my little sister tried to get married in oct my Dad laid the law down and bumped the wedding to early Sept, and that helped some. Also to answer some of your questions about why not move the hunt up, both of my cousins are hunting Taliban in Afghanistan up until 0ct 15, it will take the 4-5 days to get here to ID and this has been planned since last year, so it makes it tough to change plans. I might be able to fly down the day before the wedding and then fly back the next day.To answer the question about why 5 days for a wedding, its supposed to be a family reunion of sorts. Thanks again for the help guys. Any other suggestions?

-Highcountry

 

[schmalts]

I tell you what, anyones 3rd wedding will be attended by me only if i have nothing better to do!! Family or not. No one should expect you to drop anything to come to this Moron's big day because he was too damn poor in judgement on the first two.
Tell your wife sorry, but you cannot take it serious since it is the 3rd time around and like Moosie said....... Family is more important, so go hunt with your Dad!!!!

 

[JohnSWA]

Let me just ask you this question. Are you going to miss your hunting season for the 4th wedding?

 

[Nut]

Any other suggestions?

A divorce?

Just joking but is a alternative.

You could invite the brother out for a visit and then start a big arguement with him. Then chase him off as a no good SOB and then you have a reason not to go. Hey it worked for me once:BLEEP:

Then there is my famous excuse. You married her,not her family.

 

[Washington Hunter]

I liked Nut's suggestions.

The thing is, hunting season only happens once a year, and it only happens at one particular time. A wedding can be done anytime. Why have the wedding at the same time as deer season? If he wanted the brother in law to go, he could have done it at another time! |oo

 

[ringer]

I been married 37 years and one of my fishing buddies told me 30 years ago to hit her up side of the head 'till her eyes rolled up and get her trained. If you start giving up your important stuff for her important stuff it will be a long road to the coffin. Yes I compromise and yes I do things with my wife every so often when I sense she is feeling neglected. Would I give up my trips to Alaska for a wedding or even a funeral? Doubt it.

 

[twodot]

Highcountry, Twodot's wife, Sarah, here. We have been married for 20 years, and early on, had some of the same kinds of conflicts, ie,family pressures pressuring otherwise peacable marriage. The main thing is to not get in a pissing match with each other...the real culprits are the (unrealistic) expectations of others, ie "family reunion etc). Both sides of our family are pros at this. Twodot doesn't go hunting to get away from me...in fact tries to take me with whenever possible. Don't allow this to turn into a "hunting or her" proposition. The prospect of showing up in CA w/out you may seem too embarrassing to her now, but if she is confident in you when she goes, she can just say it was not possible for you to make it, or whatever. Her family WILL back off if she will stand up for you, she may not have considered that as an option yet, since y'all have only been married a short time. You both will need to learn ways of dealing with your families, without creating rifts between yourselves. Personally, there seems to me there is more of an investment, this time, in the Idaho hunt. If you can swing a day or 2 in CA, fine I guess, but I wouldn't even consider a week, and your wife may be surprised at how much she would enjoy the time with her family, knowing that you were happily hunting with your Dad and cousins. This is an excellent opportunity for you both to stand together. As an oldtimer to the "family get-togethers", it pains me to hear about you two going thru this, but believe me, there will be endless opportunities to "get together" in years to come, and the pressure to "be there or be square" is always heavy BEFORE the event, but once it is in full swing, nobody seems to care who did or didn't make it. Others here may think you need to school your wife in this, but really, it is you AND your wife who need to school your families in this. And it may be that it is her family this time,but it all evens out eventually...don't even start keeping score, that is the fastest route to a miserable marriage! Okay, that is my $1.02 worth...I wish you and your wife every happiness, and hope you can sidestep the heat that others always seem ready to heap on young (and old!) marrieds! Sarah

 

[Canoe]

I like Nut's idea too. You can't miss with that plan!

 

[carbonarcher]

Sounds as if there is no ability for you to be able to reschedule your hunting dates, and that needs to be strongly conveyed to your wife. She needs to realize that this week long hunt with your Dad is a part of you, it was before she came along and it will be after she's gone. Sounds like the odds are good you'll have another chance at seeing your bro-in-law get married, so this is where you need to stand up and make your wife realize the importance of this hunt to you. Good luck and have a great hunt.

 

[snake river rufus]

I been married for 34 years, somethings you stand up for, others you cave to. 3 weddings in 6 years, you have to stand up. This is not a special event anymore, more like a bbq, and your gonnna miss a few of them.

I agree with this thinking 100% 3rd wedding -B.S.!
If you don't get your foot down I will be looking foward to your upcoming posts
"Need to sell my hunting stuff- wife won't let me go any more"

 

[shoots-straight]

You can always get a new wife, but you only have one dad!

 

[ELKCHSR]

WOW theres a lot of good advise here...and a few good options....

Heres what I do and the family on my wifes side, seems to have learned (I started on them from day one)

Don't go to every thing at the drop of a hat, no matter what every one might like to say, all the guests invited won't show up.

Send a card (preferably a get well card) and skip the trip, as others have stated, there are a few things far more important than making this guy's third wedding, spend the money on a few extras for the hunting trip instead of giving it to the airlines.

Kiss your wife at the airport and meet her when she gets back, give her your blessing and tell her you'll miss her and leave it at that.

She will get over your transgretion and the presedence will be set in stone that you aren't going to jump every time another family member thinks you should.

Of course they may think your a jerk (they probably think that any way), so, do you really care?

I sure wouldn't and don't and I'm still married at almost 20 years