Dad Joke thread

[Bighorner]

What’s a pirates favorite letter?


It’s the Sea…….

You'd think it'd be the Sea, but it be Arrrr.

 

[kansasdad]

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing………..


except at a funeral !!

 

[kansasdad]

I went to the emergency room after accidentally swallowing some food coloring. The doctor reassured me that I was going to be alright….. but I think I dyed a little inside.

 

[kansasdad]

Real life story...
Reporter interviewing the Dali Lama tells him this joke:

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza joint, and asks the waiter, "came you make me one with everything?"
(The Dali Lama laughs)

5.9K views · 11K reactions | Dalai LMAO | Marvelous Clips

Dalai LMAO.

www.facebook.com

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[RealMuddyboots]

View attachment 361851

I can vouch for their planning!!

 

[INMT]

How do you identify a bald eagle?

All his feathers are combed over to one side.

 

[kansasdad]

Me: when I eat alphabet soup, I just eat the vowels!

Mrs kansasdad : why?

Me: sometimes!!!!!

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Bighorner]

Why did the scarecrow get an award...


He was out standing in his field

 

[Wild Bill]

Dad joke content dump...

 

[crock239]

An elderly lady sat down next to a young man in uniform at the bus stop

She asked, "you’re in the Navy aren’t you?"

He replied "yes ma’am"

She said, "that’s nice my husband was in the navy"

A few minutes later she asked, "what do you do in the Navy?"

He replied, "I’m a Naval Surgeon"

To which she replied, "my my you doctors sure are getting specialized these days!"

 

[kansasdad]

 

[kansasdad]

Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years, the dry erase board is probably the most remarkable!

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Wildabeest]

View attachment 370773

Looks like Trump finally got himself onto Mount Rushmore.