Dad Joke thread

[kansasdad]

Scientists recorded the sound of two helium atoms laughing.





HeHe.

 

[Bighorner]

Why is dark spelled with a K and not a C...



You can't C in the dark

 

[kansasdad]

 

[buxnbullz]

Yesterday I accidentally took my cat's medication. Don't ask meow.

 

[buxnbullz]

I just joined a dating site for arsonists. They sent me a lot of matches!

 

[buxnbullz]

Is it true that grapes scream when they are crushed?

No, they just let out a little wine!

 

[buxnbullz]

Jim was eating lunch at his desk yesterday & out of the blue he announces...

"I was sitting here eating lunch when I realized that cottage cheese is not actually a cheese. It just a curd to me."

 

[kansasdad]

Where do dads store all their dad jokes???








In the dada-base!

 

[Wildabeest]

My son has a real sense of humor in his selection of a restaurant for Fathers Day.



It’s actually a pretty good burger joint, so I’m not complaining.

 

[noharleyyet]

@geetar @elkduds @44hunter45

 

[buxnbullz]

Me: "I watched a hockey game the other day & noticed the corners of the rink are round."

Jim: "Do you know why the corners aren't 90 degrees?"

Me: "Because then the ice would melt!"

 

[buxnbullz]

Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or could he just hit me over the head with a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation!

 

[buxnbullz]

A weasel walks into a bar & the bartender asks, "What can I get for you?"

"Pop" goes the weasel!!

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Wild Bill]

 

[kansasdad]

Which means you can vacuum cleaner when the vacuum cleaner cleans the vacuum cleaner!?!?

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Wild Bill]

… I was petrified.

 

[Wild Bill]

 

[Wild Bill]

I’m rolling today…