Dad Joke thread

[Wild Bill]

Why do ducks never grow up?

Because they only grow down.

… ba dum tss!

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[95tigerbill]

Driving home the other night in a blizzard - wife and I noticed a group of horses next to the fence. Couldn’t help myself and told her they were having meeting.

 

[LopeHunter]

Why do ducks never grow up?

Because they only grow down.

Why do ducks not fly upside down?

Because they would quack up.

 

[seeth07]

What is the best kind of Christmas present to get?

A broken drum, you can't beat em!

 

[seeth07]

What happened to Santa when the reindeer started to fly too fast?

He held on for deer life.

 

[seeth07]

How did the one reindeer scare the other?

He yelled "Hey Cariboo!"

 

[seeth07]

What do you call pigs playing tug of war?

Pulled pork

 

[seeth07]

Courtesy of Mike Tirico tonight...

The most romantic touchdown in the NFL right now, Love to Romeo.

 

[BearFoot]

 

[ploxwithblox]

The other day while out in Maryland We were driving past Oakville, and they had some massive event going on. It's a little town, but it was packed, cars lined up down the country road on both ends of town. Apparently, they have a contest every year to see who can grow a russet potato to some previously specified dimensions and a particular shape. Whoever gets closest to the specific size and shape based on measurements down to a thousandth of an inch is declared the winner. There were at least 100 thousand people in attendance to see who would come out the winner. I didn't see the big deal, but from the crowds that were gathered, I am forced to admit that it must make for an excellent Spec-tater sport.

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Greybeard]

If you put socks and shoes on a grizzly, does he still have bare feet?

 

[kansasdad]

 

[Rogerdoger]

What’s a pirates favorite letter?


It’s the Sea…….

 

[Rogerdoger]

Why can’t a Trex clap?

Their extinct

 

[Deez Nutz]

What do you call it when you can't sleep so instead you stay up all night eating?


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insomNOMNOMNOMnia

 

[Wild Bill]

 

[B&CTom]

Super Bowl is tomorrow!

What type of shoes do the Centers wear? Hiking shoes!