Dad Joke thread

No offense intended.
Stepfather uttered this to us young boys, "once you get past the smell you got it licked", and then winked.
Not the greatest role model.
 
What do math teachers eat?......... square meals.

2 wealthy farmers were talking and comparing assets. One was from Lancaster Pennsylvania said "well I own 500 acres of the best farm ground in the country." The one from Wyoming said "well thats nothing I start driving in the morning and by evening I am still on my land!" The first farmer replied " yeah I know how that goes I used to drive a Chevy too."
 

I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.​


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She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
 
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