Dad Joke thread

[WyoDoug]

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

 

[Deleted member 28227]

 

[MarvB]

 

[Hem]

No offense intended.
Stepfather uttered this to us young boys, "once you get past the smell you got it licked", and then winked.
Not the greatest role model.

 

[Hem]

I won't bother with the Bangkok joke.

 

[ntodwild]

So what did the Mexican fire fighter name his 2nd born child????

Hose B

 

[ntodwild]

A 3 legged dog walks into a bar....

Bartender: Can I help you?
Dog: Yeh, I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!

 

[Fj605]

Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa?

They're the ones making the toys.

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[Irrelevant]

How do computers get drunk?

They take screenshots!

 

[farmerboy1381]

What do math teachers eat?......... square meals.

2 wealthy farmers were talking and comparing assets. One was from Lancaster Pennsylvania said "well I own 500 acres of the best farm ground in the country." The one from Wyoming said "well thats nothing I start driving in the morning and by evening I am still on my land!" The first farmer replied " yeah I know how that goes I used to drive a Chevy too."

 

[noharleyyet]

I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.​

She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

 

[Huntkook]

Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii... or just a low ha.

 

[Marshian]

It’s inappropriate to make a dad joke
If you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.

 

[kevs8239]

What is the difference between toilet paper and curtains?

If you don’t know, then your not coming to my house.

 

[MarvB]

 

[noharleyyet]

Close enough...

 

[WyoDoug]

I tell dad jokes but I have no kids…I'm a faux pa!

 

[WyoDoug]

I know a lot of jokes about retired people but none of them work!

 

[silasd]

Where do they make average?
.
.
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In a satisfactory...thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.