Dad Joke thread

[2rocky]

Studies have shown that cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them.


It is a case of in one ear and out the udder.

 

[Festus]

Poop jokes aren't my favorite jokes, but they're a solid #2.

 

[HSi-ESi]

Driving down the road the other day, I was discussing with the kids about an upcoming antelope hunt. Told them I was planning to bring all the camp gear and we'd make a weekend out of it.

8 y/o asked if we can bring a shovel to dig for gold. It's a new obsession, or get rich quick scheme in his mind. I said sure, we can bring a shovel.

10 y/o chimes in with, "We can use it for poop too" (alluding to digging a hole for the necessary).

There is a pause in the back of the truck for a couple of seconds, and the 8 y/o asks, "Why would anyone want to dig for poop?"

 

[MO Betta]

 

[2rocky]

 

[Huntkook]

Met a woman in a bar and slipped her a mickey.

 

[Cheesehead]

Preacher man: Do you believe in everlasting life?
Dad: So far

 

[Cheesehead]

Termite goes into a pub for a drink and asks ‘is the bartender here?’

 

[Festus]

I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know...

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[2rocky]

 

[2rocky]

 

[Irrelevant]

My buddies said he couldn't pay his water bill this month.
So I sent him a "Get Well Soon" card.

What part of the hospital has the least amount of privacy?
The ICU

 

[noharleyyet]

View attachment 164651

I'm so dad that I don't get it....

 

[Dsnow9]

I'm so dad that I don't get it....

That just means your old...

It’s the “new” Atari!

 

[Adam in Ohio]

I have an old hubcap I shined up and use as a plate when I eat eggs Benedict because there's no place like chrome for the hollandaise.

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[noharleyyet]

That just means your old...

It’s the “new” Atari!

...the John Wayne movie?

 

[2rocky]

This picture is the perfect illustration of what a DAD would do...

it is a Picture of a Printed Email, then posted on social media....

 

[winmag]

What’s ET short for?

Because he’s got little legs.