Dad Joke thread

[fmnjr]

Gorilla orders a drink.
Bartender says it’ll be $9, then says “you know we don’t get many gorillas in here”.
Gorilla says “well hell I can see why you don’t when you charge $9 a drink”.

 

[longbow51]

So a priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says, I think I'm a Type O.

 

[bobbydean]

I finally got it. Several hours.

 

[kansasdad]

People are shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.

️️️

 

[Mike Tomano]

Why didn't the little green pepper shoot his bow? He didn't habenero!

 

[NEW PA MT MN]

What kind of bees make milk?
Bobees.

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was in tents.

Kinda like Boy Scouts are intense!

 

[2rocky]

What kind of bees make milk?
Bobees.

 

[2rocky]

 

[Huntkook]

Did you hear about the farmer that won an award? @fishing4sanity He was outstanding in his field.

 

[Festus]

6:30 is the best time on a clock - hands down.

 

[Festus]

Masks are OK, but I could never see myself wearing a blindfold.

 

[noharleyyet]

I’m the Norse god of mischief but I don’t like to talk about it.

I guess you could say I’m low-key.

 

[fmnjr]

That's some half way up the middle nonsense.

 

[Festus]

I just swapped out our bed for a trampoline.
My other half hit the roof.

 

[Festus]

My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed.
Siri laughed.

 

[noharleyyet]

My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house. I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed.
Siri laughed.

One of my favorites.

 

[Sawtooth]

6:30 is the best time on a clock - hands down.

If you tell this joke to an IGen, they probably won't get it.

 

[2rocky]

If you tell this joke to a millennial they probably won't get it.

I think you mean iGen. If you write it in cursive they won't be able to read it....


Which Generation are You?

Generation Name​	Births Start​	Births End​	Youngest Age Today*​	Oldest Age Today*​
The Lost Generation The Generation of 1914	1890​	1915​	105​	130​
The Interbellum Generation	1901​	1913​	107​	119​
The Greatest Generation	1910​	1924​	96​	110​
The Silent Generation	1925​	1945​	75​	95​
Baby Boomer Generation	1946​	1964​	56​	74​
Generation X (Baby Bust)	1965​	1979​	41​	55​
Xennials	1975​	1985​	35​	45​
Millennials Generation Y, Gen Next	1980​	1994​	26​	40​
iGen / Gen Z	1995​	2012​	8​	25​
Gen Alpha	2013​	2025​	1​	7​

(*age if still alive today)

​

 

[Sawtooth]

I think you mean iGen. If you write it in cursive they won't be able to read it....


Which Generation are You?

​

Generation Name​	Births Start​	Births End​	Youngest Age Today*​	Oldest Age Today*​
The Lost Generation The Generation of 1914	1890​	1915​	105​	130​
The Interbellum Generation	1901​	1913​	107​	119​
The Greatest Generation	1910​	1924​	96​	110​
The Silent Generation	1925​	1945​	75​	95​
Baby Boomer Generation	1946​	1964​	56​	74​
Generation X (Baby Bust)	1965​	1979​	41​	55​
Xennials	1975​	1985​	35​	45​
Millennials Generation Y, Gen Next	1980​	1994​	26​	40​
iGen / Gen Z	1995​	2012​	8​	25​
Gen Alpha	2013​	2025​	1​	7​

(*age if still alive today)

​