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Dad Joke thread

noharleyyet said:
View attachment 242129
Click to expand...
Actually as a structural engineer I'm quite impressed by that photo. It would indeed significantly redistribute roof uplift forces (I'm assuming the purpose is for the hurricane that just hit) as well as provide lateral stability as well. Now if he was in the tide surge pathway, the guy is a moron lol
 
seeth07 said:
Actually as a structural engineer I'm quite impressed by that photo. It would indeed significantly redistribute roof uplift forces (I'm assuming the purpose is for the hurricane that just hit) as well as provide lateral stability as well. Now if he was in the tide surge pathway, the guy is a moron lol
Click to expand...
Only works if you slap the roof... :)
 
breakdown​


A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona,
when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along
and offered her a ride to a nearby town,
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian
would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-! so loud that it echoed from
the surrounding hills and canyon walls.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station,
yelled one final Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a! and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing," the woman answered, "I merely sat behind him on the horse,
put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles
 
Redmt said:
breakdown​


A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona,
when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along
and offered her a ride to a nearby town,
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian
would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-! so loud that it echoed from
the surrounding hills and canyon walls.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station,
yelled one final Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a! and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.
"Nothing," the woman answered, "I merely sat behind him on the horse,
put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles
Click to expand...
So much for letting the sixth grader read the witty Dad jokes. :(
 
How do you start a convo with a honey truck driver?

Well, try these out:
1) You're up sh*ts creek today, aren't ya?
2) You're quite the sh*t stirrer, aren't ya?
3) It's sh*tty day, ain't it?
4) What sort sh*t you up to?
5) Don't start talkin' sh*t to me now!
6) Do you always have to be starting sh*t somewheres?
7) Do you know why they call the game of golf, golf? Cuz sh*t was already taken.
8) I'd be wilin' to bet you never hear the end of the sh*t about your job!
9) How'd you get such a sh*tty job?
10) and so on :)
 
Guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables
The bartender stops wiping down the bar and yells, "HEY BUDDY YOU BETTER NOT START ANYTHING!!!"

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
ELEPHINO..

Where do North Dakotans keep their armies?
In their sleevies

If your wife is at the front door and your dog is at the back door which one do you let in first?
The dog at least it will leave you alone
 
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