Dad Joke thread

[BOHNTR]

As a kid, I was so bright my dad called me sun!

 

[JustinsDad]

Have to admit, it took me a minute!

me too. I was overthinking it. Good one!

 

[kansasdad]

 

[OH->CO]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- No eye deer
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
-Still no eye deer

 

[noharleyyet]

View attachment 211768

Need a grinning groan reactive Mark...; )

 

[fmnjr]

View attachment 210795

I actually looked it up:

 

[kansasdad]

Why are fortune tellers so easy to buy clothes for?






They’re all mediums!

 

[Indianajoe]

how does Moses like his tea?



Hebrews it.

 

[Big Slick]

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed some space…..

 

[OntarioHunter]

Why could the leper never win at poker? He kept throwing in his hand.

What did the cathouse madame tell the leper? Don't leave a tip.

Why did the leper hockey team lose every game? They always lost the face-offs.

 

[Deleted member 38069]

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know Y.

 

[Deleted member 38069]

I like to knock before I open the refrigerator. They’re might be a salad dressing.

 

[kansasdad]

 

[CowboyLeroy]

What did the cathouse madame tell the leper? Don't leave a tip

I'm wheezing at that one

 

[EJDXT20]

Asked a friend if I could borrow Batman Forever. He said no, I’d have to give it back to him tomorrow.

 

[kansasdad]

My son asked me, “Dad, are we pyromaniacs.”

I replied: “Yes, we arson”

 

[Gerald Martin]

I married my wife for her looks. Just not the ones she’s been giving me lately…

 

[Festus]

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars;
but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

 

[kansasdad]

From today’s FreshTracks release on YouTube, courtesy of @MHMT

Why did the deer go to the dentist??



Because he had buck teeth!

 

[kansasdad]

Later in the same video, also courtesy of @MHMT

If a deer breaks it’s tail, where should it go to get it fixed?


To the retail store!