Being a Man in the Modern World

[JFish]

I was driving back from Chinook MT today on 66 and passed a couple in a Subaru pulled over with a flat. The gal looked about ready to pop, 8-9 months probably. dude was in His 20’s, thin frail and pale standing half in the lane on his phone, someone not paying attention might of run him over, he appeared frustrated. Laughable, no service in that part of the world. Res cop in a blue f150 with his lights on was parked behind them. Stalky guy, could have been his vest, kneeling on the shoulder jacking up the car to change the tire presumably. My mind put the picture together pretty quickly. I just glanced over at the guy who works for me and we both chuckled and shook our heads, not a word was said but we new what each other were thinking.

A cop friend of mine will only change tires on the side of the road for elderly people or women. If your an adult man and don’t know how to change a tire he will get you a tow. If your a young man who doesn’t know how to change a tire he will offer to teach them, but they will be the one changing it. Otherwise you get a tow and can pay the tow driver to change your tire.

 

[JShane]

Along those lines, below is a book that's worth checking out....the foreword and chapter 1 influenced me greatly, 20 years ago. If you're Christian the entire book is a good read, but even if you're not there's a lot of truth here.

View attachment 194099

Carry that book everywhere I go.

 

[noharleyyet]

I came to learn early what my paternal granny and Big Skip meant when they used the term old soul.

 

[Shangobango]

I think those of us who spend time in the outdoors really have a lot of these skills and abilities many other men lack..

Podcast #592: Being a Man in the Lousy Modern World

The four factors that need to be in place for a man to feel like a man, and why experiencing these qualities has become harder to do in the present age.

www.artofmanliness.com

Thanks for sharing. I will give it a listen.

 

[sapperJ24]

A couple of big things I learned and think are lacking totally now are:

1) Do what you are supposed/need to do, without fail. Being a man means there is a LOT of stuff that is unpleasant, hard, uncomfortable that you simply HAVE to do and complaining won't make it any easier.

2) You shouldn't be paying people to do stuff for you that you CAN do. Part of this was being dirt ass poor, and part was simply the pride. A lot of stuff in reality is not as hard as it seems. For me the only line in the sand is electric....I know my limits

3) Sometimes violence IS the answer and you should be prepared execute it both for your own safety and that of those you care about. The "violence is never the answer" crowd and the anonymity of the inter webs has led to a whole subculture of folks just BEGGING for a strong whipping to adjust their attitude and actions.

4) Being a man in the end has a lot to do with sacrifice....for your family.....for your community......for your country......for the greater good.

I agree with the list and sentiment, but I see this more as being a responsible adult and not limited to manly men. I also haven't listened to the podcast so maybe that was what you all were getting at.

BTW electricity is scary, I don't mess with it either.

 

[David58]

I agree with the list and sentiment, but I see this more as being a responsible adult and not limited to manly men. I also haven't listened to the podcast so maybe that was what you all were getting at.

BTW electricity is scary, I don't mess with it either.

Part of the whole scheme is being wise enough to know what you cannot or should not do. Good judgment comes from experience, and experience from poor judgment.

 

[longbow51]

I don't want to judge a book by it's cover but I got 3 minutes into the podcast and I can't help but finding it incredibly ironic that the author of "being a man in the modern lousy world" has one of the least manly voices I've heard in quite some time.

You know that's a bit harsh. No one has control of the genetics of their voice. And Richard Marcinko, who started Seal Team Six, had a high voice as well.

 

[longbow51]

Something Terry Schappert, former Green Beret, said yesterday really resonated; not sure if it was original to him, but really doesn't matter.

"Hard times produce hard men. Hard men produce good times. Good times produce soft men. Soft men produce hard times."

 

[Europe]

A lot of wisdom and good guidance have been posted on this thread. And IMHO an important subject

So much influences a young mind, but if you read all the posts on this thread, you will notice, when looking back, many references are made to parenting or the lack thereof

I believe it starts at home as the mother and father ( as well as the extended family ) are the ones who consistently cares, teaches, and molds the child from birth to forever, and IMHO have the most impact on a persons life.

How many teachers will a child have from 1st grade thru college, many. There will be far more good ones than bad ones. Possibly 3 ro 4 good ones and one bad one each semester. So with the good foundation the child received at home the child will talk to you when they come home form school when young and be strong enough to withstand a poor teacher in college.

We also believed in keeping the child busy with other activities, in school, in the community and home. The normal programs, like football, basketball, track, baseball. volleyball, etc, but also drama, music, cheerleading, cooking, and at home--besides hunting and fishing, chores-- branding, fences, hay baling, etc etc

Location of where the child is raised is also something that must be considered. I dont remember how young I was when I helped repair tractor tires ( not just change them but repair them ) However some children are raised in large towns ( New York, Chicago, etc ) and their parents never owned a car.

For me and my family, church was another important part of raising a chid, and not just for the obvious reason, but for teaching to forgive, to help your neighbor, compassion, love over hate. My children use to love taking food and presents to those families riding out a storm on Christmas eve

Ken was kind enough to post "Believe" for me yesterday on the Friday music thread. It tells a story about the friendship that was formed between an elderly black man and a young white boy, and how that friendship helped form that young boys life when he got older .

A couple of members have posted songs on this thread and others have referred to their step dads. Maybe someone would be kind enough to post "He didn't have to be" by Brad Paisley, for me. Thank you. And my apologizes for the long post.

 

[Guest member 25165]

You know that's a bit harsh. No one has control of the genetics of their voice. And Richard Marcinko, who started Seal Team Six, had a high voice as well.

More of an observation than a criticism. I guess I was expecting more of a Clint Eastwood kind of voice.

 

[2rocky]

I'm glad the post fostered some discussion. We could talk forever about what being a Man is or isn't, and most of it is going to be according to what our upbringing is or was. It is only natural.

I think our boys becoming men need to know:

Its good to be smart and handy, and never quit learning.
You can be empathetic and tough.
You can have good manners but be a savage when you need to.
Be comfortable being uncomfortable.

 

[TOGIE]

 

[OntarioHunter]

In my lifetime I've never run into anything I couldn't learn, fix, or do (though college organic chemistry ALMOST defeated me!). The list would fill this web page and includes everything from shoeing horses to publishing my PhD thesis. My resume/vitae is thick as a Bible. Life is too short to let it be boring. Just do as much as you can ... by always doing more than you think you can. And then some asswipe halfwit on here calls me a coward. Pfffttt!

 

[Deleted member 38069]

My time as an NCO, I observed a correlation with toughness (reliability on completing a task) and a relationship with their Dads.

In my mind, it’s the Dads that make or break the attitude in the children.

 

[jeremys4]

Why is it always the public school's fault and not the parent's fault?

Signed...a curious teacher

My wife is a teacher I love her to death but all the crap that comes out of her mouth makes me shutter. White privilege, Bullys, ruff play on the playground. Not that you can’t counteract this teaching from a young age but if there isn’t a man in the house it will be the death of toxic masculinity. Not blaming teachers but the system that wants our boys to lay down their guns and welcome communism. Ain’t going to happen on my watch. I wish I was more of a man I see the hours and bed of work my grandpas did to earn a living. I work hard but times are much easier for me than it was for them.

 

[elkduds]

A lot of wisdom and good guidance have been posted on this thread. And IMHO an important subject

So much influences a young mind, but if you read all the posts on this thread, you will notice, when looking back, many references are made to parenting or the lack thereof

I believe it starts at home as the mother and father ( as well as the extended family ) are the ones who consistently cares, teaches, and molds the child from birth to forever, and IMHO have the most impact on a persons life.

How many teachers will a child have from 1st grade thru college, many. There will be far more good ones than bad ones. Possibly 3 ro 4 good ones and one bad one each semester. So with the good foundation the child received at home the child will talk to you when they come home form school when young and be strong enough to withstand a poor teacher in college.

We also believed in keeping the child busy with other activities, in school, in the community and home. The normal programs, like football, basketball, track, baseball. volleyball, etc, but also drama, music, cheerleading, cooking, and at home--besides hunting and fishing, chores-- branding, fences, hay baling, etc etc

Location of where the child is raised is also something that must be considered. I dont remember how young I was when I helped repair tractor tires ( not just change them but repair them ) However some children are raised in large towns ( New York, Chicago, etc ) and their parents never owned a car.

For me and my family, church was another important part of raising a chid, and not just for the obvious reason, but for teaching to forgive, to help your neighbor, compassion, love over hate. My children use to love taking food and presents to those families riding out a storm on Christmas eve

Ken was kind enough to post "Believe" for me yesterday on the Friday music thread. It tells a story about the friendship that was formed between an elderly black man and a young white boy, and how that friendship helped form that young boys life when he got older .

A couple of members have posted songs on this thread and others have referred to their step dads. Maybe someone would be kind enough to post "He didn't have to be" by Brad Paisley, for me. Thank you. And my apologizes for the long post.

 

[Sagebrush1]

I can empathize with any young person who wasn’t taught life-skills. I figure that it’s not their fault who they were raised by.

But I tell ya’, the one thing that makes me lose faith in tomorrow’s world is….well-done steaks.

 

[shrapnel]

I remember how men were portrayed when I was growing up, and they didn’t drive Subarus with an overbearing wife and a big dog in the back seat...

 

[widnert]

I can empathize with any young person who wasn’t taught life-skills. I figure that it’s not their fault who they were raised by.

But I tell ya’, the one thing that makes me lose faith in tomorrow’s world is….well-done steaks.

Well, every single old-time rancher I know does eat well-done steaks. Every last grizzled one of them. Maybe its because they know all the stuff those cattle are injected with over the course of their lifetime? I don't know.....

 

[Deleted member 28227]

Why is it always the public school's fault and not the parent's fault?

Signed...a curious teacher

Friend over for dinner.

"But mama wllm1313, this new math their teaching these days... what happened to regular math, it's insane" (friend)

"Britney, I was your 4th grade teacher and I'm Hayden's 4th grade teacher, there isn't new math, that's exactly how I taught it to you, my lessons really haven't changed much. Darling I love you but you were a really shitty student" ( Mama wllm1313)

* Names were changed, but this is word for word a real conversation that happened.