what would you do?

[gar man]

My son and I have an elk hunt planned. We planned it several months ago. Now the deal was he had to keep his grades up (A's and B's he is 14, in the 8th grade). Well we got his report card yesterday and he had one C+ on it. So do I stick to our deal and not let him go, or do I let this one slide? He's a good kid and works his ass off around the farm, but school is a big deal around our house. He is so pumped about this trip, and i hate to break his heart, but he knew the deal going in. So what would you do?

 

[RockyDog]

I can understand why you dont want to take this lightly, cuz its the little decisions like this in life that shape a boy.

Yet, an elk hunting trip as punishment for a C?

I would try to find an alternate punishment so he doesnt think he got off scott free.

 

[Boman]

Gar man,

Boy you're in a pickle aren't you..Well I'd say give him another shot. Did he talk to you about the class? Does he need a tutor? or was he just slacking? Obviously I don't know what you've done so far so that's why I ask. He sounds like a good kid so if in your shoes I would talk to him, really try to find out whats going on. Not confrontational but just trying to find out. Heck he might be dealing with other things in his life. Either way I'd give him another chance. But make it very clear if he drops the ball from slacking then its a no go. If he does his best and uses all available resources and still gets a C..I'd take him. So thats my 2 cents worth. Good luck I hope it works out for both of you.

 

[bowhuntinmaniac]

I don't know if I can be much help. If I were you, I would sit my son down and explain the original deal. And, since he didn't live up to it, (a C+ is close to a B-), I would ask him what he thought I ought to do. See what ideas he comes up with. Make an agreement between the 2 of you as an alternative punishment and, make sure it is done at least 2 weeks before you leave. You just might get your truck waxed.....

 

[gar man]

The the bad thing about this is he had an A the third quarter then he dropped it to a C+ the fourth quarter. We are setting up a meeting with his teacher next week so we should learn more then. So far not much has been said about the grade he doesn't want to even talk about it. I think he is afraid of what the answer to his question ( of whether he is going or not) might be.

 

[2fastnaz]

School is a big thing at my house too, however there are some classes that I don't think are too important and I cut them some slack if their grades aren't up to par in those.I won't let it slip below a C

 

[danr55]

Gar man, You never did say what class this was.. If it's English or a liberal arts class that stays pretty much the same degree of difficulty all year, I would take that a lot more seriously than something like Chemistry, Physics or Math that can get progressively more difficult through out the year. It would depend on whether or not the drop was the result of his slacking off or if he's like my brother and anything past 2+3=5 is beyond his math skill capability.

<FONT COLOR="#800080" SIZE="1">[ 05-29-2003 09:28: Message edited by: danr55 ]</font>

 

[gar man]

the class was social studys

 

[ElkHntinMD]

Gar Man,
Some great advice was given here. I would research as to why the C was received and go from there. As mentioned if there is a good reason for the C, then an alternate punishment may be in order. Either way the message you want to send is that it's not o.k.! A deals a deal, then again, we all make mistakes. It's a tuff call!! It all comes down to how strict you are. You made a deal with him that he agreed to, he didn't hold up to his end of the bargain. What message does that send?


ElkhntinMD

 

[pa mt man]

Garman, you didn't say when you are going. I took my son elk hunting with me for three years when he was in high school, during october. He just finished his first year of college and did good, b average, but he is not going to the college he wanted to. I loved hunting with him but know being away for 10 days hurt his schoolwork.
The responsible me says school first, but I sure missed him this last year. Tuff decision.

 

[Calif. Hunter]

You say you have a meeting with his teacher, so I assume that the school year isn't over yet? If not, I would have the boy see if there is some extra credit work he can put in to bring his grade up.

 

[DRAFTSTUD]

Man, that sounds just like the deal at our house, my son goes to whats called a Magnet School, very tough, in fact half of what he brought home (7th grade) was over my head! Gar Man, Can you make arrangments with his teacher for your son to do a term paper, maybe not to earn a higher grade, but to show that what was taught in this class was really understood by your son and will be carried into his next year of school? Either way I wish you the best on this important issue. I just can't believe such an important issue is being discussed on this board!!

 

[muskrat89]

Calif Hunter suggested exactly what I was going to. I'd talk to teacher, see if you can agree on something for extra credit, something challenging, but something he can get done, before the hunt. I'd be more concerned about the amount of drop. From A to C isn't like he slipped half a notch. If the extra credit thing won't work, I'd have to think about it. The thing is, it's hard to look at objectively - you WANT to take him hunting. I'd ask myself - if I had promised him something that I didn't want to do, what would my decision be? Good luck.

 

[TheHunt]

School is absolutely huge in my household. I would do exactly as some of previous post has stated and talk to the teacher to find out the details of the C+ grade and the difference between the B- and the C+. If the kid gambled on just getting by and miss calculated. I would try to make arrangements with the teacher to get the grade up to a B. If he was just lazy leave him at home. You will have to make the tough decision and not go back on your word. I would use the “I am very disappointed with you” speech. As you talk about hunting and other things when you remember you should actually say I wanted you to go but YOU screwed me over by not actually asking me or your mother for help, so reach the goal of a B grade. It better not happen again because there is only one elk hunting seasons a year.

This teaches your son two life lessons:
1. Every decision you make in life has a consequence and that every consequence will either be positive or negative.
2. If your going to do something do your best job. This includes chores, part time jobs, school, etc. A strong work ethic will take someone a long way in life.

Just my opinion

TheHunt

 

[BlackTimber]

Only one question.
Did he honestly try to get all A's and B's?
What ever the answere to that is is also your answere.

 

[GatoMan]

My dad always pulled me out of school for entire elk season every yr since I could hunt and even few yrs before then, same with deer. A , C grade use to mean average????? So your kids normal and not a rocket scientist.... take him hunting, you said he has been working hard around the farm etc, thats got to account for something. If he tried thats all you can ask for.

 

[A-con]

Summer School ?

 

[IndyJay]

From an A to a C+... there's got to be a girl involved! I think there has been some good advice dispensed. Something extra-cirricular to prove to the teacher that his grade is not indicative of the knowledge he retained might be in order.

Involve the teacher in the deal you made with your son. He/she might have some insight that you and your wife don't.

I'm sure you'll make the right call.

 

[mtmiller]

First off, I am single and no kids (a dog is enough for my patience).

When I first read your post, I felt you should not bend. A deal was made and if your son could not fulfill the agreement then he was not going to go hunting. If this was something that could not be followed through with, then you should not have made the arrangement in the first place (don't make a so-called promise if you have no intention of keeping it).

BUT-

Then I read bowhuntnmainiacs post and had to agree with what he said. Make it a learning experience, but don't get in the habit of making agreements that you do not intend to follow through with.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Muledeer4me]

Im impressed with all the good advice I have seen given.
We were faced with much the same thing year's ago.
We were pretty tough on our son as far as holding up to any punishment he knew he would get for going against any rule's.
We always took him hunting with us starting before he went to school then taking him out of school for a week to hunt with us,one year the deal was he had to keep his grade's up or he couldn't go.

He didn't,-------and we were faced with leaving him home as we always stuck with our deal's.
Steve and I talked about it,we had as much fun taking him with us as he did going and the bonding & learning while out hunting was something special that didn't happen anyplace else.
We decided we had made a big mistake in using his grade's as a requriment for hunting trip's.
We sat him down and talked it out,letting him know we were disapointed with him but thought we had also made the punishment not fit and on this one time we were going to go back on our word.
We worked out some other form of punishment ,We never used hunting as a requirment again.
This was a good kid to begain with (although his school work was never the best)

He is now almost 28 year's old ,still hunt's with a passion,and still like's to hunt with us.
Take him on the hunting trip,find another form of punishment for the school work be honest with him on why you are willing to go back on your word for this one thing.

Hunting is special.
We don't alway's get the chance to be that close to our kid's and the time slip's by all to fast,letting them know we can make a bad call every now and then isn't the worst thing in the world.
Giving out to harsh of a punishment can cut those bond's.
Good Luck on whatever you decide,it's a tough call for sure.
We were never sorry we took back that punishment and it never came back to bite us .