so you want change OK

[mdcrossbow]

Fellow Business Executives:

As the CFO of this business that employees 140 people, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama will be our next President, and
that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, I figure that the Clients will have
to see an increase in our fees to them of about 8% but since we cannot
increase our fees right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we
will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been
eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here and I didn't
know how to choose who will have to go.

So, this is what I did. I strolled thru our parking lot and found 8
Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these
folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. These folks wanted change; I gave it to them.

If you have a better idea, let me know.

 

[Whiskers]

Sounds fair to me.

 

[ELKCHSR]

! ! ! ! P E R F E C T ! ! ! !​

 

[smalls]

This is horse hockey. First, if this contrived memo were a book a guy would have to look in the fiction section of the library to find it. But I will suspend my disbelief for a moment to dispute the wisdom of our mystery CFO.

We're entering what is likely the worst economic times of our generation, the reasons for which pre-date the election of our next president, but this guy wants to blame Barry-O (and his policies that don't exist yet) for the reprocussions of our bad economy. That makes about as much sense as...

If the best way you can choose employees to layoff is to walk through the parking lot and find bumper stickers, you probably don't deserve a "C" level management position. And if you're laying off employees without consideration of their contributions, the life you live in the corner office will likely be short. I'd rather retain the most efficent and profitable workforce I can as opposed to one that agrees with me 100% of the time. The whole idea of choosing your personnel based on measures that don't include how well they actually do their job seems tremendously anti-capitalist.

Further, the only options offered in the face of adversity is a) raise prices or b) reduce workforce. This CFO can quantify how much he needs to raise prices (8%) yet can only quantify the effects of new policies on his business as "BIG time" (perhaps the caps lock makes that more scientific). If any CFO actually sent a letter like this to a board of directors, I am confident a "no confidence" vote would quickly follow due to the obvious nature of remedial decision making skills.

How about we "change" the tendency we have to blame "someone" everytime something in this world makes our life more difficult. There is some change I can believe in.

 

[Moosie]

Smalls.. I still remember when you used to laugh at jokes....

 

[smalls]

Smalls.. I still remember when you used to laugh at jokes....

You're right. I need to loosen up...I'm gonna go have a fat tirehump

 

[Moosie]

Fat tires give you Spare tires

 

[Oak]

You ain't kidding...

 

[Moosie]

Oak. It's also all the Pizza you eat with them. Since I'm more of a Pizza eater them a Fat tire drinker, I know it's not jsut the beer