Sh*t our kids do

[BackofBeyond]

I tried to explain to him that farmers sometimes have to barely rest on the first step of their tractor in case of an emergency.

Or face the bottom step and hold on for leverage, but I get it, hard to teach those intricacies to a pre-schooler.

 

[JohnCushman]

Daughter comes running back to the house yelling brother needs help wiping because he pooped in the yard. I look around the corner and see this.

View attachment 222202

View attachment 222204

The pile in the shorts was pretty big. A for effort on getting his pants down but an F for technique.

That's literally $hit your kid did

 

[Gellar]

Or face the bottom step and hold on for leverage, but I get it, hard to teach those intricacies to a pre-schooler.

It’s experiential learning. You can only learn the fine intricacies of pooping outdoors through experience!

 

[Nick87]

Or face the bottom step and hold on for leverage, but I get it, hard to teach those intricacies to a pre-schooler.

Just don't lose your grip. Been there when corn stalks have given way. Lesson learned.

 

[Gellar]

Just don't lose your grip. Been there when corn stalks have given way. Lesson learned.

Hopefully you didn’t receive a cornstalk enema when the ones you were holding onto gave away.

 

[Nick87]

Hopefully you didn’t receive a cornstalk enema when the ones you were holding onto gave away.

Negative thank god.

 

[BackofBeyond]

Just don't lose your grip. Been there when corn stalks have given way. Lesson learned.

Or white pine bows.

 

[Nick87]

Or white pine bows.

Touche

 

[dirtclod Az.]

AND always look above to make sure there are no tree stands.

 

[BackofBeyond]

AND always look above to make sure there are no tree stands.

I’m not worried about it. If they’re there, it’s their problem. Not mine.

 

[Gellar]

AND always look above to make sure there are no tree stands.

Most tree stand hunters don’t carry a spotting scope, so I’m safe.

 

[Fj605]

Right now, my favorite is that both girls (6 & 4) both call their backsides "6".

"Dad, I'm on your 6"
"Dad, I fell on my 6"
"Dad, my 6 itches"
"Dad, I can see your 6"

 

[Tiredofthebickering]

I’m not worried about it. If they’re there, it’s their problem. Not mine.

Exquisite use of the variations of there, they're, and their. Bravo! The various HT wordsmiths will be proud.

 

[BackofBeyond]

Exquisite use of the variations of there, they're, and their. Bravo! The various HT wordsmiths will be proud.

Channeled my inner corgi lover for that one.

 

[hossblur]

My oldest is driving my old 2500hd chev.

A few Sundays ago, I noticed the valence was missing.

"I don't know dad, I guess I could have drug it off on a curb".

Then suddenly, the fan was grinding on the shroud. Which happens when you have busted motor mounts.

The ball joints were mysteriously bad. And the front quarters were tweaked so they were tight to the door on top, and gaped on the bottom.


Now, me thinking it got jumped, or smashed through a ditch, is just crazy.

It was that way when he started driving

 

[Jack Ryan]

My oldest is driving my old 2500hd chev.

A few Sundays ago, I noticed the valence was missing.

"I don't know dad, I guess I could have drug it off on a curb".

Then suddenly, the fan was grinding on the shroud. Which happens when you have busted motor mounts.

The ball joints were mysteriously bad. And the front quarters were tweaked so they were tight to the door on top, and gaped on the bottom.


Now, me thinking it got jumped, or smashed through a ditch, is just crazy.

It was that way when he started driving

Check the frame rails. Chevy is famous for those rusting right through even if they've never been jumped.

 

[Wild Bill]

Last night we were getting my son (almost 2) ready for his bath, as he had thoroughly colored himself with markers throughout the evening. He had been carrying around (not eating) a chocolate chip cookie from grandma. We tried to explain that he couldn't bring it in the tub because it will get too soggy and fall apart which lead to him having a nice little meltdown. Eventually my wife decided to let him bring it in the tub. After a couple dunkings, the cookie fell apart and into wet crumbs. He proceeded to have a major melt down that we had to navigate with another cookie after he got out of the tub.
The whole situation reminded my of the GIF of the racoon dunking it's cotton candy in water.
Kids are wild little creatures.

 

[Nick87]

Gets himself in there at least 25 times a day.

 

[TriStar Hunt]

The other day I asked my 3 year old if he wanted to help me mow the lawn.
He looked up, shook his head a little, and said “Go Fish”

 

[Deleted member 52098]

Last night my 3 year old crawled up into my lap, gave me a big hug and said “daddy I love you.” It was really sweet until he crawled down and said “but I love mommy more” as he was walking away.

Every. F$&@ing. Time.