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**satire** Montana mule deer **satire**

Visiting Hunter

Well-known member
Jan 13, 2024
Montana Mule Deer Are Dead Association: Demand End to Road Kill Tags and Driving Restrictions

In a letter addressed to the Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks (FWP), a group of mature animal hunters has called for an end to the road kill salvage program and the imposition of driving bans during the prime rut season for mule deer. The letter, signed by over 100 members of the Montana Mule Deer Are Dead Association (MMDADA), claims that these policies are infringing on their rights and privileges as hunters and conservationists.

The road kill salvage program, which allows Montanans to collect and consume animals killed by vehicles, was introduced in 2013 as a way to reduce waste and provide food for needy families. However, the MMDADA argues that this program is depriving them of the opportunity to hunt and display these mature animals. "We pay thousands of dollars for licenses, tags, equipment, and travel expenses to hunt these magnificent creatures, only to see them wasted on the side of the road or in someone's freezer," the letter reads. "This is not fair to us, the true stewards of wildlife, who respect and honor these animals by mounting their mature horns on our walls and posting their pictures on social media."

The MMDADA also demands that the FWP impose driving bans on all roads and highways during the early and late hours of the day, when mule deer are most active and vulnerable to collisions. The letter cites several studies that show that vehicle collisions are the leading cause of mortality for all deer in Montana, and that these collisions peak during the rut season, when the animals are more likely to cross roads in search of mates. "These collisions are not only a threat to public safety and property, but also a threat to our hunting heritage and culture," the letter states. "Every mule deer that is killed by a car is one less mule deer that we can hunt and enjoy. We urge the FWP to protect our wildlife and our rights by banning all non-essential driving during the rut season, especially during the dawn and dusk hours, when the animals are most visible and attractive."

The letter concludes by asking the FWP to consider the interests and opinions of the mature animal hunting community, which they claim contributes more to wildlife conservation and management than any other group. "We are the ones who fund the FWP through our license and tag fees, we are the ones who volunteer for habitat restoration and population surveys, we are the ones who educate the public about the importance and value of hunting," the letter asserts. "We deserve to have a say in how our wildlife is managed and utilized, and we deserve to have the best and exclusive access to our wildlife resources. We hope that the FWP will listen to our concerns and take action to end the road kill salvage program and the driving restrictions, and restore our hunting opportunities and privileges."

The FWP has not yet responded to the ridiculous letter, but a spokesperson said that they got a good laugh!

Thank you for reading this far. I hope you had a few laughs along the way. Some of the comments gave me a headache, so I had to lighten the mood with a little joke. I hope we can still bust eachothers balls a little bit, and not get too offended.
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