Pooping in the Woods - A question of thresholds

How far is too far to get to a toilet?

  • I prefer to poop in the woods

    Votes: 78 48.1%
  • If I can't walk to them, it's too far

    Votes: 44 27.2%
  • Further than 1 mile

    Votes: 22 13.6%
  • Further than 3 miles

    Votes: 13 8.0%
  • Further than 10 miles

    Votes: 5 3.1%

  • Total voters
    162

SaskHunter

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 7, 2018
Messages
2,419
Location
Saskatchewan
Some of you people have never deuced a 7-11 and it shows.

In my younger days, I would go to Taco Bell with a bunch of buddies and we would order trays full of crap and eat like fat f*cks. After our first Taco fest and having to destroy an already destroyed toilet, we ended up changing Taco Bell location to one which had a Tim Horton's next to it. Instead of going to the disgusting Taco Bell restroom, we would cross the parking lot and go to the clean Tim's restroom next door. This was a huge game changer!!!
 

R.K.

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
680
Location
MT
You choose- fresh air and a view, or the sights, sounds, and smells of any truck stop you've ever been to. Poopin' with a view wins.

And there is "mountain money" in every pack, vehicle, and hunting vest that I own- I refuse to join the "sleeveless shirt fashion crew". Speaking of- I need to add some to my boat...
 

NativeIndian

Active member
Joined
Jan 28, 2021
Messages
105
I'm afraid to touch anything in a pit toilet (or any porta jon type). I'll stick with the clean woods LOL.
 

7mm08mo

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 24, 2015
Messages
2,034
Location
Lake of the ozarks Missouri
I can shit anywhere. I’ve had nature call violently while driving down a county road, due to my metformin and not so good choices on food. Pulled over used the doors for cover and let it rip. Kinda like the kid in the movie grown ups when I feel it I do it. My job requires me to spend a lot of time driving around, i always keep boxes in my wellhouses just in case there are no woods nearby.
 

kansasdad

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 30, 2011
Messages
6,060
Location
Wichita
Try to imagine the worst toilet you’ve ever seen, and perhaps I can match it.

We were headed towards Amboseli National Park (Kenyan side of Kilimanjaro) and had stopped to fill up the fuel tank at the border town of Namanga. Mrs kansasdad needed to use the facilities and went around the back of the petrol station where the “loo” was located. The woman’s side actually had an external door (men‘s did not) and inside she found two “western style” toilet seats (“eastern“ style toilets are seatless slots in the ground) that surprisingly were in stalls.

The concrete floor was covered with a half inch of “damp” dirt and both toilets were missing a toilet seat. Of course there was no TP supplied, but we were prepared for such an event. Once the “hovering” was completed, she pushed the stall door open to find a TALL Maasai man standing at the sink relieving himself in the sink. Stifling a shriek, she pushed passed the peeing warrior-level Maasai and nearly ran to the car.

“GET ME OUTTA HERE!!“
 

JDH

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 18, 2013
Messages
1,185
Location
Indiana
I'm afraid to touch anything in a pit toilet (or any porta jon type). I'll stick with the clean woods LOL.
I used to be a superintendent for a construction company so I'm used to portajohns.
I can shit anywhere. I’ve had nature call violently while driving down a county road, due to my metformin and not so good choices on food. Pulled over used the doors for cover and let it rip. Kinda like the kid in the movie grown ups when I feel it I do it. My job requires me to spend a lot of time driving around, i always keep boxes in my wellhouses just in case there are no woods nearby.
I'm still working on figuring it out but there's some kind of spice or preservative that will absolutely stop me in my tracks 10-15 minutes after I eat. Doesn't always happen but often enough to make it worth figuring out. Just enough time to leave the restaurant but not enough time to get anywhere. It doesn't matter if it's the closest gas station, walmart, or side of the road, it's happening now.
 

RealMuddyboots

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2021
Messages
311
Yeah, pooping in the woods can provide opportunities that just cannot happen in a vault. The real problem is insuring rifle is firmly leaned against your "support" tree so you can have quick access for any unsuspecting WT. I have found this "cover up scent" to be quite effective and having deer come in dead down wind. Yes, I have killed deer while pants hugging my ankles! In fact, really close shot 20 yards down wind! Not sure if cover scent or just blinded and trying to find way out of the scent trail?

Like lottery, you can't win unless you buy ticket same with pooping in woods. You can't shoot a deer from a vault. Unless it is a hybrid vault shooting hut!
 

HuntTalk Freak

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2018
Messages
659
I have a outhouse on my hunting property and one of those bucket contraptions in the cabin, I still prefer to feel the breeze against…..basin and draw.
 

Gellar

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 31, 2014
Messages
4,208
Location
The Driftless Area
In countries like the one I live in now with a large Middle Eastern immigrant population of a certain religious persuasion, this is not a laughing matter. I can't begin to count the number of times I've opened a stall and seen dirty footprints on the toilet seat.
Hovering is a problem in our park bathrooms, mostly the womens stalls. We’ve had to put these signs in. Sorry ladies but you guys take the cake when it comes to dirtiest bathrooms.

1660184677908.jpeg
My late wife told me a story from her younger days as a canoe ranger at a well known eastern Canada park. A camper actually tunneled from his campsite to a pit toilet so he could watch people pooping. Apparently it's common enough condition to have a syndrome name. Copperfelia or something like that. Hitler had it. Got his jollies having Eva crap on him during sex.
I’ve heard of people putting cameras down in pit toilets before, it’s actually pretty common.
 

Hunter4Life78

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 4, 2022
Messages
580
Not a group pooper fan at all. Can poop in the woods I prefer not to. I have learned that one may want to look up hill. Sometimes that sage brush may not be enough to provide adequate screening form those in an elevated position....at least it's was guys I had known since middle school and not. Church Youth Group on an nature walk.
 

Dsnow9

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
2,055
Location
Colorado
After spending over 2 months where the toilet was a hole in a 2*6 with another on either side to stand on I can drop a deuce anywhere. I prefer to be out in the woods and have a mini aluminum shovel that fits around a 1/2 roll of tp. Weighs nothing. My biggest secret when hunting though is taking a used peak or mountain house and using wet wipes and disposing of them in the old food bag. Just have to be very careful on your folding game. I’ve seen to many tp towers in the woods, I can’t in the right mind leave it out there. One wet wipe = lots of tp
 

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