Caribou Gear Tarp

Pooping in the Woods - A question of thresholds

How far is too far to get to a toilet?

  • I prefer to poop in the woods

    Votes: 78 48.1%
  • If I can't walk to them, it's too far

    Votes: 44 27.2%
  • Further than 1 mile

    Votes: 22 13.6%
  • Further than 3 miles

    Votes: 13 8.0%
  • Further than 10 miles

    Votes: 5 3.1%

  • Total voters
    162

flatcoat

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2019
Messages
120
Location
Behind the Potato Curtain
The ex worked seasonally gardening in JH. 4/10's and the billionaires didn't dare allow the peasants to use their facilities. The ladies on that crew would take great pride in the restroom arrangements they would create in some billionaires yard. I always got a chuckle knowing some hippie chicks were constantly pooping in some rich persons flower bed.
 
Last edited:

grizzly_

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2013
Messages
1,033
Do I dare ask; What is Groop poop?
This concerns me just a little bit...
It's totally normal in parts of the upper Midwest.

Two people place their feet toe-to-toe and then hold hands and squat simultaneously, that way they can carry on a fruitful conversation while taking care of business. It's considered an alternative to looking at your phone in places without cell reception.
 

PrairieHunter

Well-known member
Joined
May 17, 2018
Messages
1,574
Location
Laramie, WY
It's totally normal in parts of the upper Midwest.

Two people place their feet toe-to-toe and then hold hands and squat simultaneously, that way they can carry on a fruitful conversation while taking care of business. It's considered an alternative to looking at your phone in places without cell reception.
They do this in Ft Collins sometimes, usually in an alley. I believe it's a form of swing dancing in Colorado.
 

woods89

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2021
Messages
463
One of my close hunting buds was a carpet layer. He was on a rural job and there was no operable plumbing (water) in the new house build yet. He had a sudden defecation reflex and quickly egressed the back door and made it to the barbed wire fence, where he quickly unsnapped his bib overall's shoulder straps and assumed the pose, almost leaning on the wire. Well his premonition about explosive was correct and he coated the fence strands. When he stood up he didn't realize one of his straps was caught on a barb & when it released the strand trebuchet'd his hastily metabolized breakfast all over him.

It was funnier when he told it...
You, sir, should be awarded max points for using the word trebuchet in a poop thread. Bravo!
 

FairWeather

Active member
Joined
Sep 30, 2021
Messages
179
lesson I’ve learned is to lean further back than you’d think. One time in basic training I went and took a squat in the woods, only to look down and see I shat right into my underwear. Luckily I’d been eating MREs for 3 days by that point so it was pretty much a solid brick of preservatives. Just buried the underwear with the TP, but I learned a lesson and haven’t done it since haha.
 

ajrcktts

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 19, 2016
Messages
2,457
Location
East TN
Sometimes there IS something down there waiting to get ya...

Can you imagine the excitement of killing your first black bear only to walk up and start thinking, "Dear God what is that SMELL?" right before you grab the hide for pictures. . .
 

OntarioHunter

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
4,588
My late wife told me a story from her younger days as a canoe ranger at a well known eastern Canada park. A camper actually tunneled from his campsite to a pit toilet so he could watch people pooping. Apparently it's common enough condition to have a syndrome name. Copperfelia or something like that. Hitler had it. Got his jollies having Eva crap on him during sex.
 

mtmiller

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2001
Messages
11,122
Location
Montana
In countries like the one I live in now with a large Middle Eastern immigrant population of a certain religious persuasion, this is not a laughing matter. I can't begin to count the number of times I've opened a stall and seen dirty footprints on the toilet seat.
How can I put this delicately? Never mind, I can't.

You are in interesting fella.🤞

Heard of scatophilia pyromania?
 

OntarioHunter

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
4,588
Can you imagine the excitement of killing your first black bear only to walk up and start thinking, "Dear God what is that SMELL?" right before you grab the hide for pictures. . .
Pit toilets are a magnet for pack rats. Definitely don't want those filthy buggers around your campsite!
 

Benfromalbuquerque

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2020
Messages
552
So yeah, this article brings up a real problem which is nitwit do gooders leaving baggies of dog waste on our trails. It’s probably not ever going to be picked up by park staff or anyone for that matter. I do always have a shitbaggie tied to my dog leash and use it about once every three years.
 

Redman

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2017
Messages
1,547
Location
Indiana
In my many years as a heavy equipment mechanic pooping outside was a normal daily routine. Now as an equipment manager I don't do it as often but when I have to go to a jobsite I take full advantage of it. This time of year in Indiana there are millions of acres of corn..3 rows out and you are good! In a few months it gets a heck of a lot more tricky. I have TP in every vehicle...don't leave home without it.
 
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