powderburn
Active member
President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which
>>country to
>>invade next, when his telephone rang.
>>
>>"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is
>>Archie,
>>up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland,
>>Canada, ey?
>>
>>I am calling to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on
>>ey!"
>>
>>"Well Archie,"George replied, "This is indeed important news! How
>>big is
>>
>>your army?"
>>
>>"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation, "there is
>>myself,
>>
>>me cousin Guihan, me next-door- neighbour Mick, and the whole dart
>>team
>>from the pub. That makes eight!"
>>
>>George paused, "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men
>>in my
>>
>>army waiting to move on my command."
>>
>>"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
>>
>>Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war
>>is
>>still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
>>
>>"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George asked.
>>
>>"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm
>>tractor."
>>
>>President Bush signed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000
>>tanks
>>
>>and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army
>>to
>>one and a half million since we last spoke."
>>
>>"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, I'll be getting back to
>>ya."
>>
>>Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the
>>war is
>>
>>still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an'
>>modified
>>Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
>>four
>>
>>byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"
>>
>>George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must
>>tell you
>>
>>Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
>>military
>>
>>complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
>>sites. And
>>
>>since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
>>
>>"Jeysus, Mary, and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse
>>back."
>>
>>Sure enough the next day Archie called again. "President Bush! I am
>>sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere
>>war."
>>
>>"I am sorry to hear that," said George. "Why the sudden change of
>>heart?"
>>
>>"Well, sir," said Archie. "We've all sat ourselves down and had a
>>long
>>chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way
>>we can
>>
>>feed two million prisoners."
>>country to
>>invade next, when his telephone rang.
>>
>>"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is
>>Archie,
>>up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland,
>>Canada, ey?
>>
>>I am calling to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on
>>ey!"
>>
>>"Well Archie,"George replied, "This is indeed important news! How
>>big is
>>
>>your army?"
>>
>>"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation, "there is
>>myself,
>>
>>me cousin Guihan, me next-door- neighbour Mick, and the whole dart
>>team
>>from the pub. That makes eight!"
>>
>>George paused, "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men
>>in my
>>
>>army waiting to move on my command."
>>
>>"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"
>>
>>Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war
>>is
>>still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
>>
>>"And what equipment would that be Archie?" George asked.
>>
>>"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm
>>tractor."
>>
>>President Bush signed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000
>>tanks
>>
>>and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army
>>to
>>one and a half million since we last spoke."
>>
>>"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, I'll be getting back to
>>ya."
>>
>>Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the
>>war is
>>
>>still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an'
>>modified
>>Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
>>four
>>
>>byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"
>>
>>George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must
>>tell you
>>
>>Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
>>military
>>
>>complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
>>sites. And
>>
>>since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
>>
>>"Jeysus, Mary, and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse
>>back."
>>
>>Sure enough the next day Archie called again. "President Bush! I am
>>sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere
>>war."
>>
>>"I am sorry to hear that," said George. "Why the sudden change of
>>heart?"
>>
>>"Well, sir," said Archie. "We've all sat ourselves down and had a
>>long
>>chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way
>>we can
>>
>>feed two million prisoners."
