Life's advice and phrases....

[jbowlin]

"Opinions are like A**holes, everyone has one and most of them stink!"
--I don't know who said it first, but I find it to be true
"Raise good kids, that way you don't have to raise your grandkids"----from one of my patients raising her grandkids

 

[Exhausted]

Begin in the way you intend to go (and its various similar phrases)

My wife heard this somewhere years ago and we find it applicable in many areas of our life. If you don't want your kids to be spoiled brats, teach them manners and don't spoil them when they're young. If you want to be debt free and have a positive net worth, don't spend a bunch of money on credit cards. So on and so forth. Think about how you want to live and who you want to be and start now rather than trying to correct later.

 

[MNElkNut]

My kids: "Dad, that ain't fair!"
Me: ".....the fair is in August".

 

[Scott85]

My kids: "Dad, that ain't fair!"
Me: ".....the fair is in August".

I like saying there are only 3 types of fair; county, state and world.

 

[NR_Hunter]

"Its 10 times harder for a real one" - YG

 

[Festus]

 

[noharleyyet]

"I met the surgeon general...he offered me a cigarette."

Rodney Dangerfield

 

[HSi-ESi]

"Only a quarter mile to the rig"

My Dad, on nearly every pack-out we ever did, for at least the last mile of each trip.

 

[Scott85]

I used this one in a text message to my wife yesterday and I found it funny after I sent it. "It's not out of the way if I go that way."

 

[dirtclod Az.]

If it works don't F--- with it!

 

[BigHornRam]

Texans are like farts. They are loud and smelly, and never go back to where they came from.

Comedian who's name I don't recall.

 

[Gerald Martin]

Tell your children you love them.

 

[Nameless Range]

"The greatest weariness comes from work not done." -Eric Hoffer

 

[88man]

From Bumpy
Jesus Christ Junior your almost as dumb as your mother

 

[88man]

Another from Bumpy
Your good at so many things just don't piss me off and become an as_ Hol_

 

[noharleyyet]

"I recently bought a toilet brush....long story short I'm going back to paper."

Facebook

 

[R.K.]

Duck blind wisdom from Dad to my (then teenaged) brother:
"If it feels right- it probably is, and if it feels wrong, it probably is." And "Son- quit thinkin' with your penis." Different days, equally memorable.

But an older story is from when he intended to propose to his girlfriend at the time- his dad was out hoeing the garden, as he often did, and my dad said "I'm gonna ask her to marry me". Silence. Eventually, my dad couldn't stand it and asked "Well?! What do you think?!" His dad briefly stopped hoeing, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Never stand in the path of a man headed for hell." And then went back to hoeing.

 

[elkduds]

Someone said, "Pain is the feeling of weakness leaving your body." Probably a youngster.

 

[Tradewind]

"there are 3 kinds of men in the world.
The one that learns by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."
Will Rogers

 

[Deleted member 38069]

"If you want to run with the wolves at night, you can't act like a pup in the morning" -My old man