Hunting funds?

[Lmwmihunter76]

All right guys I have a question but need to explain the situation. I work 4 tens for my regular job, so I work a second job on my day off. I have been using this extra money for hunting related stuff like tags, gear ect. The problem is now my wife wants me to start using this "extra" money for stuff she wants to be done around the house. Which I do not want to use that money for obviously.

So the question is how do I go about explaining to her that is not going to happen I want to continue to use the extra for hunting?

Sounds kinda selfish but the way I look at is i am not taking any extra money out of the household income for my hobbies.

 

[MNElkNut]

First and most important advice is to listen to Randy's podcast on marriage advice. Both of them.

From my standpoint of 24 years of marriage I can tell you this: Happy Wife = Happy Life.

 

[Estimator86]

Do you guys have a budget in place or just spend the money on bills and such as they come along?

 

[noharleyyet]

Best relationship advice I ever read....https://jalopnik.com/how-an-old-jeep-sparked-a-viral-manifesto-on-relationsh-5733319

 

[SDS14]

Last I checked, once you're married, It's our MONEY AND OUR EXPENSES!! Regardless of who makes more, more hours worked. Call me old school, but if it was me I would sit down with your wife and create budget both your incomes, both your debts and expenses and set Saving goals and purchase goals as a family.

 

[Trial153]

Where does does she derive her disposable income?

 

[1_pointer]

Last I checked, once you're married, It's our MONEY AND OUR EXPENSES!! Regardless of who makes more, more hours worked. Call me old school, but if it was me I would sit down with your wife and create budget both your incomes, both your debts and expenses and set Saving goals and purchase goals as a family.

This is my take as well. Split funds were part of the reason my parents divorced. My wife and I have access to all accounts/funds and I wouldn't have it any other way. Sure we disagree at times with how funds should be spent, but that's no different than any of the other things we negotiate between us in our marriage.

 

[LaSportsman]

I work at least 10 hours per day five days per week. The fifth day isn't declared "my money." We budget for expenses including retirement, kids college, and house repairs. The leftover is for us to spend on extras. I come out pretty good because my wife doesn't have expensive hobbies and supports mine.

Listen to the marriage podcast and read the associated thread. Not bad advice in either for a hunting forum.

 

[Mudranger1]

I say "Listen woman it's my money I do what I want!" Ok ok now I do actually say that but in reality its more of a running joke. I spend a boat load of money on hunting and she likes to travel back home to Florida....just like the the marriage advice podcast says you got to satisfy both

 

[LCH]

If you can afford to treat all of that extra 10 hours of pay per week as disposable income, I'm thinking a 50/50 split would be a darned good deal.

 

[deer_shooter]

My wife and I have our separate accounts plus a joint one. We each contribute equally to the joint that covers all household bills with a bit left over in case something comes up. We agree and contribute equally to any large purchases for the house. Whats left over goes in our separate accounts to do with as we please. We have no kids and we are very fortunate that we both have decent jobs and income.

 

[Big Bore]

Next month will be 24 years for us.

My wife has hobbies and stuff needs, but mine are clearly more expensive. If I can't support her wants/needs unequivocally, then that says more about me in my opinion. She will always come first over my hobbies. And because of that genuine approach, she insists I pursue my hobbies at almost any cost.

Marriage isn't 50/50. It's 100/100.

 

[Scott85]

Divorce, it's the only logical answer. Who is the breadwinner in the marriage? How are bills spilt up? I am the breadwinner in my marriage and pay for everything except the cellphone, Netflix and Hulu and we split the cost for food. I have my own account and she has hers I can see her account and have the ability to transfer money to her account whenever she needs it. I spend a lot of money on gear and other stuff and I don't complain about stuff she gets and I will buy her stuff all the time just because I feel guilty. This works for us and has for the last 8 years but we have also never even fought about anything else in the 8 years.

 

[SD_Prairie_Goat]

My wife and I have our separate accounts plus a joint one. We each contribute equally to the joint that covers all household bills with a bit left over in case something comes up. We agree and contribute equally to any large purchases for the house. Whats left over goes in our separate accounts to do with as we please. We have no kids and we are very fortunate that we both have decent jobs and income.

I second this method. Can't get mad if your other is spending their "spending money" while you spend yours on hunting. I think this method really reduces the fights that can brew about money in a relationship.

 

[Tiredofthebickering]

I feel like my time belongs to my family as well. In your situation I would say that I'm making extra money by working the extra day but I'm taking 8, 10, however many hours away from my family to make that money. Because of that, I think it's more than fair to spend some of the money on home/family stuff. Do you have kids that you'd have to take care of is she decided to get an extra job to pay for her stuff?

My wife and I have everything jointly. I make roughly 2.75x what she does but virtually all money decisions are made jointly. She might bust my chops about my spending on occasion, but if I really want to do/buy something she won't really try and stop me. All of my hobbies are significantly more expensive than hers and I never, never give her a hard time about spending money on the house, herself, or the kids. She also make sure all of the bills are paid and takes care of managing our monthly budget while I don't give it nary a thought. I'd hate to have to try and monetize everything she does for our family, home, and me on a professional services level. The cost of childcare while I'm out hunting would drain me all by itself, lol.

 

[Lmwmihunter76]

Do you guys have a budget in place or just spend the money on bills and such as they come along?

We have budget. Both of our "regular" paychecks go into it with left over for savings ect

 

[Deleted member 20812]

Instead of asking strangers on the internet how to tell her no, you probably should be discussing with her how to negotiate an amicable solution.

 

[Addicting]

My wife is buying a $2200 mini labradoodle dog with our tax refund. At first I flipped out, then I listened to Randy’s podcast. I stopped it and went and got her, we listened together. After reflection on what the other wives were saying, a $2200 dog is a drop in the bucket to my past selfish purchases. That’s her money as much as mine.

 

[noharleyyet]

My wife is buying a $2200 mini labradoodle dog with our tax refund. At first I flipped out, then I listened to Randy’s podcast. I stopped it and went and got her, we listened together. After reflection on what the other wives were saying, a $2200 dog is a drop in the bucket to my past selfish purchases. That’s her money as much as mine.

...and you're gonna love that dog.

 

[LCH]

My wife is buying a $2200 mini labradoodle dog with our tax refund. At first I flipped out, then I listened to Randy’s podcast. I stopped it and went and got her, we listened together. After reflection on what the other wives were saying, a $2200 dog is a drop in the bucket to my past selfish purchases. That’s her money as much as mine.

Look on the upside, sounds like a good candidate for a shed-hunting dog!