Hunted too long if.....

[Khunter]

A sign maybe you have been out in hunting camp too long when....


Here is one that came to mind last night...

You return home and first night back your wife asks you what the heck you are doing at 4 am headed outside with a roll of toilet paper in hand to do your business same as you have done for 17 days straight.....

What y’all got for signs maybe you were out too many days or wore yourself completely out by time you go home.

 

[LCH]

The wife always seems a lot better lookin' after you been in the woods for a week or two.

 

[rwc101]

You've been out too long when all the beer and whiskey is gone.

 

[Jape]

I know I’ve been in the woods too long when I start loathing everything I’m eating and only something greasy will do.

 

[RockinU]

I know I’ve been in the woods too long when I start loathing everything I’m eating and only something greasy will do.

I've been there. Came off the mountain one time, and the only thing open was a Taco Bell, we ordered like 4 of every kind of taco they had. The little guy taking our order says "one stoner special coming up!".

I don't even like Taco Bell, but man it was good that night.

 

[brownbear932008]

When you spoon your wife in the middle of the night and pull her close and in mid sleep she screams so loud the neighbors can hear her. True story after I returned from an Alaskan caribou trip. I think I lost five years off my life scared the crap outta me.....

 

[noharleyyet]

If your dog don’t bark when Cousin Eddie shows up unannounced.

 

[kmott]

when every inch of yer undies is crusty.

 

[dwatling]

12 days hunting elk this season I lost so much weight none of my pants fit, I don't have much to lose as it is. My wife said I was looking like I hadn't slept in 2wks and barely ate.. which she's not entirely wrong.

 

[blueridge]

When you spoon your wife in the middle of the night and pull her close and in mid sleep she screams so loud the neighbors can hear her. True story after I returned from an Alaskan caribou trip. I think I lost five years off my life scared the crap outta me.....

I thought you were going to say: when you spoon your wife and it ends up being your hunting buddy in the tent with you telling you to get the f off.

 

[RockinU]

I thought you were going to say: when you spoon your wife and it ends up being your hunting buddy in the tent with you telling you to get the f off.

If my buddy was spooning me, I think I'd phrase it different. Telling a dude who's been in the backcountry for an extended time to "get off" could leave too much ambiguity...

 

[oleefish2]

When your bird dog picks up her toy and takes it to your wife.

 

[jlong17]

when your facial recognition on your phone no longer unlocks because you have gone too long without a shower and grown a nappy beard... true story

 

[JDH]

I know I’ve been in the woods too long when I start loathing everything I’m eating and only something greasy will do.

12 days hunting elk this season I lost so much weight none of my pants fit, I don't have much to lose as it is. My wife said I was looking like I hadn't slept in 2wks and barely ate.. which she's not entirely wrong.

Both of these... I finished off a 10oz burger and some fries after a hunt coming through Denver a couple of weeks ago. Even after that I was still down 6 lbs when I got home.

 

[2rocky]

When someone refers to you having "Gone Feral"

You close the office door one last time. Check the lock is tight.
The pickup and trailer outside waiting in Friday's fading Autumn daylight

Pull out on the highway for some solo windshield time
Just you and the radio following the guardrail and whiteline

Till asphalt turns to gravel, alternating with dust and mud.
Cell phone screen says "NO SERVICE". Close it in the console with a thud.

Through the lowland river bottom to the bench where the sage grows low.
Deadlines and appointments further in the rearview every mile you go.

Once you arrive at the trailhead and the motors hum leaves your ears.
You notice the wind seems to ask "Well, who do we have here?"

The horses they smell the breeze coming down from timberline.
You remember the smells of autumn, Damp aspen leaves and lodgepole pine

Packs are loaded, pigtails checked diamond hitches all are tight.
Line out up the trail. Ten miles to camp by tonight.

The first few miles you fell like an intruder in someone else's house
jump and start at everything from jay, squirrel or grouse.

Cresting the saddle into the basin feels like coming home.
Stringing highlines for the horses, you are acutely aware, you are alone.

Your watch goes in your pack for now you are on mountain time.
Living in the moment, simply daylight or dark is fine.

Before sunrise you're moving. The Ridgetop your daylight goal.
cinching your saddle in the dark, feel that tremor deep down in your soul?

Horses tied up at treeline - shoulder a pack. From here we go afoot.
city feet stumble as your muscles remember how to carefully place your boot

Thin air drags at you, every step toward your elevational goal
Horizon turns grey, pink then yellow as you peer down in the bowl.

Throughout the day it continues. Ride Hike and Glass.
Watch is back in camp, yet you can tell time continues to pass.

At dusk you hike back to your mount. Annoyed and somewhat ashamed.
Civilization flakes from your being like scale and rust from an old chain.

Horse knows where camp is once you get back and find the trail in the night.
Sparks shoot out from his shoes on the granite. It is beginning to feel right.

That night in camp seems easier. Horses chew their evening meal.
As you think about the place you are, and the way the ground under you feels.

Turn down the lantern. Let the campfire coals burn out for the night.
Sleep comes to your tired muscles. This begins to feel all right.

Morning comes before daylight. Evening comes quicker still.
The thought comes to you " I could be rich, if I could condense this all into a pill."

You revel in the moment now. Breath comes easier. Each step feels measured and sure.
no longer clumsy and civilized, each motion is purposeful and intent is pure.

You have become part of this place. Not a trespasser like before.
Your senses tune in to things you never considered before.

Sweaty felt, damp aspen leaves, woodsmoke, your cologne from the last four nights.
Sunset, Moonrise, Little Dipper North Star and Orion become your evening sights.

One morning it happens. Scripted in time , almost serene.
Spotted stalked, called, answered. In slow motion it seemed.

Your predator has been awakened, turned loose, free to run.
As you smell the hair of your quarry. your blood and his mingle as one.

Then there in that moment you realize your transformation is complete.
Once more part of the mountains, in life now you compete.

And reason once again enters your thoughts as you separate muscle, bone and hide.
Once more you have a deadline. You feel wildness begin to subside.

By your final evening campfire amber liquor toasts Orion in the night.
You think about the country and how everyday survival is a fight.

Eat or be eaten. Not just a platitude for those who live up here.
You envy the simple direction. DO or do not. Survive without fear.

Packing out while a relief seems foreign though Horse know the way home.
As you hit the main trail you realize the last five days you didn't feel alone.

Back on the gravel road. Saddles and Packs in back. Horses tied in.
Phone beeps in the console as you hit service. Messages begin to come in .

"Where have you been?" they all ask as you grin to yourself a weak little smile.
"Don't worry about where I've been. Just had to go feral for a while."

 

[kansasdad]

Wow 2Rocky, that's some memory stoking work there. Good stuff

 

[MT Bound]

...when I can't stand my own body odor anymore.....

 

[7 mag]

The wife always seems a lot better lookin' after you been in the woods for a week or two.

Nope cause.my wife is right there beside me in the woods with her rifle over her shoulder