HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
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> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world,Mexifornia, formerly known as California .
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> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
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> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
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> Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped
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> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
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> Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
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> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
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> Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
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> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
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> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
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> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
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> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
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> Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
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> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. >
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Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States
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> Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
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> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
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> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
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> Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
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> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
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> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
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> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
>
>
> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world,Mexifornia, formerly known as California .
>
> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
>
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
>
>
> Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped
>
> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
>
>
> Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>
> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
>
>
> Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
>
>
> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
>
>
> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
>
>
>
> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
>
>
> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>
>
> Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
>
>
> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. >
>
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States
>
> Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
>
>
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>
>
> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
>
>
> Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
>
>
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
>
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
>
>
> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
>
