Having a bad couple of days...
- Thread starter JohnCushman
- Start date
WV Hunter
Active member
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2009
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I'll be praying for you John. You know my number. I'm always available to talk.
bobbydean
Well-known member
Appreciate your service.
Know a lot of Vietnam vets. Rough life, and some are really messed up.
But all of them have families that need them,
Like you from Hunt Talk.
Actually really admire you!
You are needed and I respect you!
Hang in there.
Know a lot of Vietnam vets. Rough life, and some are really messed up.
But all of them have families that need them,
Like you from Hunt Talk.
Actually really admire you!
You are needed and I respect you!
Hang in there.
I don't know how to do multiple quotes so this is a copy and paste, but you get the idea:
Originally Posted by Gerald Martin View Post
There's not a man on this forum or in the service anywhere who wouldn't feel honored to shake your hand and thank you for what you did accomplish.
God never intended for you to carry this on your own strength. Let Him take care of the past and what you couldn't do. Living a life that Izzy would be proud of will never bring him back, but it will honor his memory and will provide security and example for the ones you love. Hang in there buddy! It will be great to sit around the fire and swap stories with you in a few weeks.
Originally Posted by Lawnboy View Post
John,
While death sucks and hurts this life really is a blip of something larger. Izzy is fine along with all the others who have gone before us. I'm as confident of this as I am of anything in this life. It's impossible for me to know how you truly feel but there is One who has suffered and felt all the pains we encounter in this world.
Hang in there my friend and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Bart
Originally Posted by JLS View Post
If we look at death within our human context, we see it as the end point and there is nothing more. From a Christian viewpoint, death is simply the transition from one life to the next, and one that offers us freedom and beauty beyond what this world can ever offer.
From a worldly level, death is horrible. From a heavenly level, death is the start of something wonderful.
Make the most of every day, and never miss an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of those around you.
It's obvious that you are a good person or you wouldn't have this kind of support - and most of us never even met you!!! You've touched more lives than you could imagine.
Hang in there, brother. God must be up to something in your life or the devil wouldn't be fighting you this hard...
God promises to make something good out of the storms that bring devastation to our lives. Romans 8:28
I too, am proud to 'know' you and your story and would be honored to shake your hand and thank you.
You will be in my prayers, friend.
Originally Posted by Gerald Martin View Post
There's not a man on this forum or in the service anywhere who wouldn't feel honored to shake your hand and thank you for what you did accomplish.
God never intended for you to carry this on your own strength. Let Him take care of the past and what you couldn't do. Living a life that Izzy would be proud of will never bring him back, but it will honor his memory and will provide security and example for the ones you love. Hang in there buddy! It will be great to sit around the fire and swap stories with you in a few weeks.
Originally Posted by Lawnboy View Post
John,
While death sucks and hurts this life really is a blip of something larger. Izzy is fine along with all the others who have gone before us. I'm as confident of this as I am of anything in this life. It's impossible for me to know how you truly feel but there is One who has suffered and felt all the pains we encounter in this world.
Hang in there my friend and I'll keep you in my prayers.
Bart
Originally Posted by JLS View Post
If we look at death within our human context, we see it as the end point and there is nothing more. From a Christian viewpoint, death is simply the transition from one life to the next, and one that offers us freedom and beauty beyond what this world can ever offer.
From a worldly level, death is horrible. From a heavenly level, death is the start of something wonderful.
Make the most of every day, and never miss an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of those around you.
It's obvious that you are a good person or you wouldn't have this kind of support - and most of us never even met you!!! You've touched more lives than you could imagine.
Hang in there, brother. God must be up to something in your life or the devil wouldn't be fighting you this hard...
God promises to make something good out of the storms that bring devastation to our lives. Romans 8:28
I too, am proud to 'know' you and your story and would be honored to shake your hand and thank you.
You will be in my prayers, friend.
John I can't comprehend what you go through when you get this way thinking about your lost buddy. But I wouldn't say that you only had one job to do there and failed. You were there in place of the rest of us who were not there to fight for our country. You need to stop dwelling on the passing of Izzy and celebrate the lives that were saved by you or anyone else who did what they could. Think if the situation was reversed and you and Izzy traded places, would you want him to beat himself up over this? Honor you lost buddy but also stop doing what he would not want you to do if you traded places.
Thanks for your service.
Thanks for your service.
JohnCushman
Well-known member
From a medical standpoint I can accept his death. He lost both legs from the knees down and his right arm, plus he had inhalation burns, as well as organ damage from the concussion from the blast. But, as his buddy, that's what I have a hard time with. I knew his family. I had dinner with his wife and kids and played soccer and games with his kids and was accepted by them as part of the family. That's what hurts me. I feel like I let them down. They lost a husband and father. I went around the platoon and asked everyone if they would rather go home in a wheelchair or in a box, and Izzy was adament that no matter what, he wanted to go home alive, even if it meant no arms and legs. So, once again I feel like I let him down. What bothers me the most is that he died surrounded by strangers after I promised him that I wouldn't leave him. When we got Medevac'd to the hospital in Baghdad, they took him to a room separate from where I was and I ended up on a table getting worked on. Later that night I asked about him and I was told that he died about 20 minutes after getting to the hospital. I freaked out and was subsequently tackled and sedated and strapped to a bed. I kept him alive for 45 minutes in a battle field, how in the hell couldn't a full blown hospital keep him alive with doctors and everything else? The doctor that worked on him came in to talk to me and commended me for what I did in the field and how I didn't really have to do all of it because according to military triage standards he was what was considered 'expectant', which means he will die soon, so make him comfortable and go on to deal with the others. I told that doctor to #*^@#* off and invited him to come out in the field with us and tell my platoon that. You don't just let your buddies die.
duckhunt
Well-known member
That video really opened my eyes to the reality of what our veterans are really going through after they get home. I hope you can get your spirits up and move on with a happy life and happy family Jon. Thank you for your service.
StrutNut
New member
John,
I am a spiritual person and believe that God has a plan for everyone. You spend 45 minutes keeping him alive in the battlefield. I think he is spending time keeping you alive back home. It seems it would be what he wanted. Its not that you are a pussy for not pulling the trigger, Izzy is keeping you alive. Thats my take on it anyway. I would think he would want you to put this past you and start living!
Good luck John. We all respect you and I hope you find comfort in reading this.
I am a spiritual person and believe that God has a plan for everyone. You spend 45 minutes keeping him alive in the battlefield. I think he is spending time keeping you alive back home. It seems it would be what he wanted. Its not that you are a pussy for not pulling the trigger, Izzy is keeping you alive. Thats my take on it anyway. I would think he would want you to put this past you and start living!
Good luck John. We all respect you and I hope you find comfort in reading this.
jryoung
Well-known member
John,
Like others, I cannot fathom what you have been through. But, I do know that you have a good soul, and selfless heart something so many in this world lack. There’s not much more to say than what others have very well stated. You didn’t break any promises to Izzy, $hit just happened, and your selflessness and love gave him the best of chances to make it home. Now is the time to be there for Jeana, your family, and Izzy’s family…they need you, give them your selfless heart.
If it isn’t obvious by now, know that you have support far and wide, we’re here for you. We’re just 24 days away from sharing a campfire in Montana again. I’m looking forward to late nights, good food, lots of coffee and many “Cushman’s” that will keep us laughing for days.
Like others, I cannot fathom what you have been through. But, I do know that you have a good soul, and selfless heart something so many in this world lack. There’s not much more to say than what others have very well stated. You didn’t break any promises to Izzy, $hit just happened, and your selflessness and love gave him the best of chances to make it home. Now is the time to be there for Jeana, your family, and Izzy’s family…they need you, give them your selfless heart.
If it isn’t obvious by now, know that you have support far and wide, we’re here for you. We’re just 24 days away from sharing a campfire in Montana again. I’m looking forward to late nights, good food, lots of coffee and many “Cushman’s” that will keep us laughing for days.
Don K
Active member
John,
Just reading your posts on here (like Fin) I have gained a huge amount of respect for you and those that are serving and have served. That video sinks in and anyone that doesn't get tears watching it isn't human. Don't feel like your "dumping" your problems here. Consider us as part of your "family" and reach out any time. I cant imagine what you have gone through, and what your going through and I know words are not nearly enough but "Thanks!!"
Just reading your posts on here (like Fin) I have gained a huge amount of respect for you and those that are serving and have served. That video sinks in and anyone that doesn't get tears watching it isn't human. Don't feel like your "dumping" your problems here. Consider us as part of your "family" and reach out any time. I cant imagine what you have gone through, and what your going through and I know words are not nearly enough but "Thanks!!"
I hear what you are saying. But also read your own words, YOU kept him alive buddy, IMO it sounds like you did even more than that according to the doc at the hospital. You can't blame yourself for what happened after he got to the hospital and you can't blame them either. It was a bad deal all around. Celebrate the ones that you saved
Celebrate the ones that you saved
Amen!
e300winmag
Member
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- Feb 4, 2013
- Messages
- 318
John,
Thank you for your service to the USA. Without you and all the other fine men and women we wouldn't have the freedoms we do today.
The demons of the past are different for everyone and they all haunt each of us differently. I hope you continue to work hard at finding peace with those thoughts and memories. they will never completely go away but using them to strengthen your resolve will make you better and stronger for those around you in the future. We don't get do-overs in real life and honestly it's probably a good thing. Keep fighting the good fight John and I look forward to your company soon.
Thank you for your service to the USA. Without you and all the other fine men and women we wouldn't have the freedoms we do today.
The demons of the past are different for everyone and they all haunt each of us differently. I hope you continue to work hard at finding peace with those thoughts and memories. they will never completely go away but using them to strengthen your resolve will make you better and stronger for those around you in the future. We don't get do-overs in real life and honestly it's probably a good thing. Keep fighting the good fight John and I look forward to your company soon.
deer_shooter
Well-known member
John...thanks for all you have done and sacrificed for us. I can't begin to understand what you went through there. I never saw action but did lose some close friends during training exercises and it will always suck. From what I've read on here over the years you appear to be a very stand up guy and I have a great deal of respect for you. If you ever want to bend the ear of an old jarhead, ill pm my number. Nothing can bring back your friend but you can honor him by living life to the fullest and remember him. Regardless of religious beliefs, I feel that we are never truly gone as long as there are people left to remember us.
John - I too have a lot of the same sentiments as others have mentioned. There are far too many people who depend on you to be there for them today and tomorrow. Courage is taking those first steps to recovery even if you can’t see the path forward. Sometimes you may hate every minute of a given day, but don’t quit, see through it and live the rest of your life as a champion, you are a champion. Everyone has their own battles; and sometimes I even remind myself by asking, “If you had, say, just one more year to live, what steps would you take to make it a great one?” Now, take one of those steps!
On a more cheerful note, it’s only 23 days until I see you around the camp fire, one thing we need to discuss is the mention in another post of being an Eagles fan, you need to relocate your faithfulness to the other side of the state, Go Steelers! And, I expect my coffee mug & chili bowl to never go empty. Let’s not lock the keys in the truck this time either One last thing, if you need to talk, you have my cell. See you soon on the mountain!
On a more cheerful note, it’s only 23 days until I see you around the camp fire, one thing we need to discuss is the mention in another post of being an Eagles fan, you need to relocate your faithfulness to the other side of the state, Go Steelers! And, I expect my coffee mug & chili bowl to never go empty. Let’s not lock the keys in the truck this time either
One last thing, if you need to talk, you have my cell. See you soon on the mountain!
bmack
Member
Damn....
I don't understand why we as a nation don't have more resources available for our veterans, especially those who were in combat. Once the media drops coverage of these wars so many seem to just forget about all of our soldiers coming home trying to transition back into society. Physically and mentally damaged beyond what the existing resources can handle.
You are no pussy John. It takes a real man to lay it all on the line and express his feelings about some of the most emotional aspects of his life to other people. Think of how many men have a hard time just saying "I love you" to their wives or children. Or those who can't be transparent with their family expressing how they feel.
What you've shared on this thread takes courage man. Keep getting those thoughts on paper or in writing. Often times it can help in the healing process.
There is a reason you are still here. Finding the "why" make take time...but it'll materialize.
Thanks for sharing that powerful video and song.
I don't understand why we as a nation don't have more resources available for our veterans, especially those who were in combat. Once the media drops coverage of these wars so many seem to just forget about all of our soldiers coming home trying to transition back into society. Physically and mentally damaged beyond what the existing resources can handle.
You are no pussy John. It takes a real man to lay it all on the line and express his feelings about some of the most emotional aspects of his life to other people. Think of how many men have a hard time just saying "I love you" to their wives or children. Or those who can't be transparent with their family expressing how they feel.
What you've shared on this thread takes courage man. Keep getting those thoughts on paper or in writing. Often times it can help in the healing process.
There is a reason you are still here. Finding the "why" make take time...but it'll materialize.
Thanks for sharing that powerful video and song.
live free or die
Active member
John
Can't thank you enough for all your sacrifices!
Can't thank you enough for all your sacrifices!
gspman
Member
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2011
- Messages
- 38
John
I have now words other than I hope that you lean on and rely on your family and friends to help through this period of your life.
I never served, I was going to go into the marine once when I was young, was medically failed out after finding that my spine was defective. (bad disc's)
My life went on, I got married raised 5 kids. 3 of those kids chose to serve there country in time of war,
Son1 - Marine corp - 3d and 9th Comm Btn - served both battles of Fallujah, Iraq
Son 2 - Army - 25th inf - Striker vehicle comander - Bagdad 1.5 years - Eliminated the Sadr army in Sadr city
Son 3 - Navy - USS George Washington- Japan - 4 years. recently discharged
All of them have there memories, the 2 that were in combat wear wrist bands that with the names of there fallen buddies.
Sometimes we talk.... together and seperately.. well they talk, I just listen. I think they really feel better being able to do so,
I sincerely hope there is someone in your life you can talk to and that will just listen.
I have now words other than I hope that you lean on and rely on your family and friends to help through this period of your life.
I never served, I was going to go into the marine once when I was young, was medically failed out after finding that my spine was defective. (bad disc's)
My life went on, I got married raised 5 kids. 3 of those kids chose to serve there country in time of war,
Son1 - Marine corp - 3d and 9th Comm Btn - served both battles of Fallujah, Iraq
Son 2 - Army - 25th inf - Striker vehicle comander - Bagdad 1.5 years - Eliminated the Sadr army in Sadr city
Son 3 - Navy - USS George Washington- Japan - 4 years. recently discharged
All of them have there memories, the 2 that were in combat wear wrist bands that with the names of there fallen buddies.
Sometimes we talk.... together and seperately.. well they talk, I just listen. I think they really feel better being able to do so,
I sincerely hope there is someone in your life you can talk to and that will just listen.
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