Grandpa's Tax Audit!

[Sytes]

Grandpas Tax Audit

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his

attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an above-average lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that

believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa.

'How about a demonstration? ' The auditor thinks for a moment and

said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says,

'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The

auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand

dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has

wagered and lost $three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He

starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks

'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of

your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never

get a drop anywhere in between.' The auditor, twice burned, is

cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this

old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains

mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other

side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The

auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss

into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney begins to moan and puts his head in

his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when my client told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in to your office and ****** all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

 

[idnative1948]

Never mess with old. You will lose!!

 

[Big luke1981]

LMAO, that is super funny right there!!!!!

 

[awapiti]

That was hilarious, thanks for the laugh!

 

[noharleyyet]

....age and guile.

Good one Sytes.

 

[Sixpointbull]

LOL...awesome. Never been audited, and don't want to.