Death to Big Fin

[Big Fin]

I still get a few of these each week, even though the wolf episode has not run for a month or two, though less of them than the hundreds that came in earlier this fall.

Most emails seem to be in the same jovial spirit of Ms. Thomas. And people wonder why my wife keeps a loaded shotgun nearby and I travel nowhere without personal arms.

So, let's have a little fun with this one. I have not yet replied to her.

The person who comes up with the best reply will get an OYOA hoodie or microfleece vest. I will use the best reply as the outline for responding to this person who seems to struggle with people having a differing view of the world.

OYOA Contact Submission

From: kimberly thomas

Sent: Sat, Jan 5, 2013 at 9:16 am

To: [email protected]

Name: kimberly thomas

Email: [email protected]

Comments: WE ARE ALL WORKING HERE TO GET YOU AND YOUR MURDERING WAYS SHUT DOWN !!!

RANDY YOU ARE ARE CREATINOUS SON OF BITCH WHOM I HOPE WILL VERY SOON BE KILLED BY A MUTUAL BOW HUNTERS BOW !!!

 

[Big Fin]

No swearing or vulgarities.

 

[emrah1028]

Damn. I can't even begin to organize a response to that just yet.

Emrah

 

[noharleyyet]

Send her a gift certificate for an online English starter kit. I can't tell if she's calling you a cretin or a creationist.

...and she wants you arrowed by an insurance salesman?

 

[JCS]

Please join me for dinner. I will be serving wolf steak smothered in mushroom sauce. I hope you will bring the appropriate wine.

Time: anytime you are free
Date: when hell freezes over

 

[174in]

Dear Kim
I belive you are asking for an invite to the hunt.As much as I would love to have you on the show and make you a hunting celeb I will have to put you on the waiting list with all the other clueless idiots.Just for your comment I may have to shoot a pack of wolves.
Take care
Big Fin wolf killa

 

[track1]

Congratulations, you are the 1000th hate mail I've recieved!! You have just won an all expense paid deer, elk and wolf hunting trip to Southwest Montana with me (Randy) as your guide. To redeem your prize please call 1 406 545 3337 (1-406 kil deer). Again, congratulations on being a WINNER and I look forward to hunting with you this fall.

Sincerely,

Randy-dead man walking-Newberg

P.S. You should probably come during rifle season. We don't wan't to have an accident by a mutual bow hunter.

 

[dustinf]

Dear Kimberly,

If I were killed by another bowhunter, I'm sure every ounce of my remains would be consumed or utilized in an ethical manor. I assure you, they would treat me with the same respect that I give ALL of my prey.

Thank you for visiting the website,

Randy

 

[spook12]

Let it go. She's to far gone.

If you respond in kind,you run the chance of looking like a ''Creatinous Son of A Bitch''.

 

[drahthaar]

Ms. Thomas,
Thank you for your response and your concern. Yes, thankfully, I am creatinous. Creatine is indeed a metabolite produced in the body, it surrounds my muscle cells. If I am creatinous, I am indeed, very much alive, so thank you for your insight.
I am yet a little confused as to what I "murdered", but if you are worried about the game animals of which I legally killed, during Montana's open and legal hunting seasons, then I take issue with you calling me a "murderer". Murder is illegal taking of a HUMAN life, and as of today, so far in my life, I have yet to do such a thing.
I have to say, I do feel a bit sorry for you though. You are obviously extremely detached from the natural world, a beautiful world where I live and thrive. Hunting is part of the natural world, whether you are a human, or one of those big furry creatures of which you are so concerned. Do you not wish death upon those predators? As they kill each other as well! Do you hate the wolf pack that kills a mountain lion? Do you hate a mountain lion that kills a wolf? You see Kimberly, I am a predator too. It is that simple, I kill, and I eat what I kill, and I have more respect for those animals than you could ever comprehend, predators and prey alike.
I have nothing against you, as I do not know you, but I do know it takes a very sad, angry, pathetic individual to wish death upon another human being.
Good Day!

 

[WV Hunter]

You need a photo of you with a bull head/antlers packed in a crew cab eating a DQ blizzard while smiling with the caption "haters gonna hate" as a formal response to all hate mail

 

[Sytes]

Sorry Randy...

I tried to post a witty response... and unfortunately I've given this woman too much of my time already.

Best to ya!

 

[DoubleU]

Trying not to waste to many brain cells on this person ....

Kimberly Thomas,

Your email is indicative of weakness in your position. In the words of others, when the facts are on your side-pound the facts, when the evidence is on your side-pound the evidence, when you have neither pound the keyboard!

I am a very busy hunting food my family and advocating for a proper approach to wildlife management, and I therefore would appreciate if an eco-terrorist like yourself would not bother me with your keyboard pounding.

P.S. I would rather stand next to that “mutual bow hunter,” in light of your hopes, than anywhere else in this world, for I know his/her character and reasoning is not like yours.

 

[ismith]

Dear Kimberly,
I took the liberty of posting an ad on your behalf on the below website. Hopefully it will lead to a social interaction with a like minded new friend. Thanks and have a nice day [email protected]
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/i/personals?category=w4w

 

[Muleyfanatic]

Ms. Thomas
Thank you showing your true colors in how you regard human life. According to you it would be a great triumph to take a human beings life; but find it repulsive to hunt animals. Your associates and you are very good at misconstruing the facts into something that you view as moral and well becoming of our race. I on the other hand have my own views of what is moral and becoming. Some examples are contributing massive amounts of money and resources into preserving OUR wild life through purchasing hunting licenses and educating people through the viewership of OYOA TV. I also am able to provide my family and many other needy families meat through hunting. While you make all your efforts to fight hunters and the taking of game; I am using my efforts to directly contribute into the well being of them by providing money funding the land acquisitions and preservation that they need to thrive.

 

[TLC]

mz. kimberly, are you working as hard to get the "CREATINOUS SON OF BITCH(s)" shut down in chicago? the murder capital of the country. also, are you wishing death upon them? I hope not. would make me feel less special. thank you for your time. it looks like you spent a large amount of time into the thought process to write your response.

send her the hoodie. and hat.

 

[Marshian]

Ms. Thomas, if I wanted any lip from you, I'd unzip my pants. Yours truly.

 

[RobG]

Tell her Critter did it.

 

[Devil Diver Down]

Send her a gift certificate for an online English starter kit. I can't tell if she's calling you a cretin or a creationist.

...and she wants you arrowed by an insurance salesman?

And I'm pretty sure that ways are 'murderous,' not 'murdering.'

I would take a little different approach in my email to her. I would troll her a little bit by responding with a 'personalized' form letter - nothing bothers people quite as much as the idea that they really don't count. Everyone wants to feel special and like their voice has been heard.

Dear Kim Viewer,
Thank you so much for your kind words about our television program. Thank you for helping make On Your Own Adventures one of the most successful outdoor shows on television. Your support is greatly appreciated and we have some great surprises in store for you in our upcoming season so STAY TUNED!

Best of luck in your upcoming hunts,
Randy.

 

[drahthaar]

and i'm pretty sure that ways are 'murderous,' not 'murdering.'

i would take a little different approach in my email to her. I would troll her a little bit by responding with a 'personalized' form letter - nothing bothers people quite as much as the idea that they really don't count. Everyone wants to feel special and like their voice has been heard.

Dear kim viewer,
thank you so much for your kind words about our television program. Thank you for helping make on your own adventures one of the most successful outdoor shows on television. Your support is greatly appreciated and we have some great surprises in store for you in our upcoming season so stay tuned!

Best of luck in your upcoming hunts,
randy.

lol. Hahahaha!!!!