Dad Joke thread

Pronounced "Richard Inaway"

 
I use these all in a row when I get the opportunity. Usually has everyone within earshot rolling their eyes.

What do you call a cow with two
legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Nothing, cuz he won’t come anyways.
 
This morning I picked up the end of an old lariat where I'd cut off the Matthew Walker knot to braid a lead rope .

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I said to my lady "Do you think this little piece identifies as a Rope?

She said "Well Yes!"

I held it up to my ear.

She said "is it talking to you?"

I nodded my head.

She rolled her eyes and said "What is it saying?"

I relayed it to her in a hushed whisper......


"I'm afraid not" (frayed knot)
 
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