Christmas presents for wife

A vacuum cleaner….

I got her a vehicle at the end of October that I make the payments on. I might even get her a gift certificate to get it detailed.
 
If my wife wants something, she buys it so Christmas is tough for me. Two weeks ago, she had a delivery of gym clothes and I'm looking at her like, WTF? Coulda shared that with me and waited another week or two. Sheesh.

I get her experiences. Spa days, stained glass classes, concert tickets. Stuff like that.

And jewelry. There's no such thing as too much jewelry for a woman. Don't kid yourself. Especially antique jewelry or jewelry I make for her from gemstones we find in our rockhounding or my hunting travels.
 
Microwave potato bag cooker was all I caught my wife saying she wanted. Your wish is my command!

Wait, as I type it out this feels like a trap. I feel like I've been set-up...
I set ours on fire a week ago. Cooking a tater all peacefully, look over sucker is torching…just saying be careful!
 
If my wife wants something, she buys it so Christmas is tough for me. Two weeks ago, she had a delivery of gym clothes and I'm looking at her like, WTF? Coulda shared that with me and waited another week or two. Sheesh.

I get her experiences. Spa days, stained glass classes, concert tickets. Stuff like that.

And jewelry. There's no such thing as too much jewelry for a woman. Don't kid yourself. Especially antique jewelry or jewelry I make for her from gemstones we find in our rockhounding or my hunting travels.
My wife does the same shit. "Ahh I want that", bam on the doorstep a couple days later...

I end up buying bigger things because of this. This year it's a pretty big order from First Lite...
 
I’m getting my Christmas shopping done early this year, heading to town now.

I just wanted to give a PSA for you young guys who are newly married, or close to getting married. The stages of shopping for your wife/fiancé/girlfriend go like this.

1. You spoil her with nice jewelry you can barley afford. (Here’s a $2,000 necklace I sold a gun to buy)

2. You start getting her nice household items as you move in together. (Here’s a vacuum and some pots and pans)

3. You’re newly married without kids in that honeymoon stage so you go back to getting her nice jewelry/cars/ other expensive things. (We gotta go pick up your new ride at the dealer next week)

4. PAY ATTENTION HERE!!!!

You have kids so it’s all about them, your wife will tell you “we don’t need to exchange gifts, it’s all about the kids”

ITS A TRAP!!!!! The kids will open gifts and at the last second she’ll pull out a couple really thoughtful gifts for you. You’ll stand there like a doofus knowing you have nothing for her, she won’t believe you because she doesn’t believe you are that stupid to actually get her nothing, but she has greatly underestimated your stupidity.

5. You take mental notes of things she brings up she wants over the year, only to forget them and just get her things she uses like perfumes, and other trinkets she’ll never use or wear but you buy anyway because you have no clue what she really wants. (I’m in this stage) (Here’s some perfume that you don’t use because I can’t remember what the bottle looks like, some candles, and some other weird crap. It’s the thought that counts)

Some of you older guys can fill in the rest.
It should be noted that the gift examples in step 2 are a complete risk and should be exercised with caution. Nothing will put you more in the dog house than giving your wife indirect messages that you didn't imply.

Exhibit A - vacuum cleaner. Wife may think, "Oh dear, he thinks I don't clean the house".
Exhibit B - pots and pans. Wife may think, "Oh wow, he doesnt think I cook enough".
Bonus Exhibit C - perfume. Wife may think, "He thinks i stink".

As the young folk would say; it do be that way sometimes.
 
I’m getting my Christmas shopping done early this year, heading to town now.

I just wanted to give a PSA for you young guys who are newly married, or close to getting married. The stages of shopping for your wife/fiancé/girlfriend go like this.

1. You spoil her with nice jewelry you can barley afford. (Here’s a $2,000 necklace I sold a gun to buy)

2. You start getting her nice household items as you move in together. (Here’s a vacuum and some pots and pans)

3. You’re newly married without kids in that honeymoon stage so you go back to getting her nice jewelry/cars/ other expensive things. (We gotta go pick up your new ride at the dealer next week)

4. PAY ATTENTION HERE!!!!

You have kids so it’s all about them, your wife will tell you “we don’t need to exchange gifts, it’s all about the kids”

ITS A TRAP!!!!! The kids will open gifts and at the last second she’ll pull out a couple really thoughtful gifts for you. You’ll stand there like a doofus knowing you have nothing for her, she won’t believe you because she doesn’t believe you are that stupid to actually get her nothing, but she has greatly underestimated your stupidity.

5. You take mental notes of things she brings up she wants over the year, only to forget them and just get her things she uses like perfumes, and other trinkets she’ll never use or wear but you buy anyway because you have no clue what she really wants. (I’m in this stage) (Here’s some perfume that you don’t use because I can’t remember what the bottle looks like, some candles, and some other weird crap. It’s the thought that counts)

Some of you older guys can fill in the rest.
You sandbagging’ SOB! Here most of your posts are about some run-of-the-mill, small town trucking, lucky I found a bull elk to kill in NE, sucks at hunting, can’t figure out how to kill stuff with a muzzleloader, self-depreciating humor—BS! And then you go and drop some PHD-level marriage advice/observation like this! You had me fooled. Well done!

On another note, I am terrible at gifting for my wife so I’m taking notes. I’ve been starting to make lists for her all year as she drops the ever so subtle hints and it has helped. She’s got a great sense of humor so a good mixture of meaningful and funny work well for her.
 
It should be noted that the gift examples in step 2 are a complete risk and should be exercised with caution. Nothing will put you more in the dog house than giving your wife indirect messages that you didn't imply.

Exhibit A - vacuum cleaner. Wife may think, "Oh dear, he thinks I don't clean the house".
Exhibit B - pots and pans. Wife may think, "Oh wow, he doesnt think I cook enough".
Bonus Exhibit C - perfume. Wife may think, "He thinks i stink".

As the young folk would say; it do be that way sometimes.
Okay, I thought of a great game. You name a gift that isn't offensive. Then I'll show my wife and she'll tell us how it's offensive :ROFLMAO:

Women will find the wildest things offensive or take it the wrong way.
 
It should be noted that the gift examples in step 2 are a complete risk and should be exercised with caution. Nothing will put you more in the dog house than giving your wife indirect messages that you didn't imply.

Exhibit A - vacuum cleaner. Wife may think, "Oh dear, he thinks I don't clean the house".
Exhibit B - pots and pans. Wife may think, "Oh wow, he doesnt think I cook enough".
Bonus Exhibit C - perfume. Wife may think, "He thinks i stink".

As the young folk would say; it do be that way sometimes.
Yeah a clothes iron almost turned me into a victim of domestic violence a few years ago.
 
We had our first son before we had our first Christmas as a married couple. Didn't get each other a present that year and the tradition continued thru four more children and more "not sure how we are going to pay the bills this month" conversations than I can remember. Thats 38 years ago. Still married. Still no gifts to each other. Don't f@@k with a plan that works.
 
My wife and I have had a "deal" since our first Christmas together...

No buying surprise gifts. They suck or are just not appropriate for the holiday.

This after I was given a "baby/backside" children's thermometer and a complete set of air tools to work on our hobby car. I didn't own an air compressor. Needless to say the air tools were re-gifted to her uncle who was a shade-tree mechanic and I went out and bought myself something nice. Afterwards, I made her agree to never again spend MY money on ME. I will buy my own gifts. Things I actually want and then she can wrap them, or not. The only unplanned gift I receive every year is a pumpkin pie and a tub of coolwhip for my birthday which coincides with Thanksgiving time of year.

We prefer to spend our money on experiences than "things". Hunting trips together, vacations, adventures, or general items for the house or our future.

She most always gets what she wants/needs and rarely has to ask twice for something she likes.
 
We don’t exchange gifts. Same bank account. If we want something we can buy it for ourselves been that way for 10 years now seems to work just fine. I have the girls go pick something out for her from them that’s about it.
I've gone so far as to hand them to her and tell her to wrap them for me under the tree.
 
My wife and I have had a "deal" since our first Christmas together...

No buying surprise gifts. They suck or are just not appropriate for the holiday.

This after I was given a "baby/backside" children's thermometer and a complete set of air tools to work on our hobby car. I didn't own an air compressor. Needless to say the air tools were re-gifted to her uncle who was a shade-tree mechanic and I went out and bought myself something nice. Afterwards, I made her agree to never again spend MY money on ME. I will buy my own gifts. Things I actually want and then she can wrap them, or not. The only unplanned gift I receive every year is a pumpkin pie and a tub of coolwhip for my birthday which coincides with Thanksgiving time of year.

We prefer to spend our money on experiences than "things". Hunting trips together, vacations, adventures, or general items for the house or our future.

She most always gets what she wants/needs and rarely has to ask twice for something she likes.
We do ski trips and other things as our big gifts, but I always try to get her a few things now. No more big stuff, if she want’s something she buys it and the same with me.
 

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