Chimp vs. Grizzly in the ring?

Dinkshooter said:
Give the monkey PCP, that should get him fired up.
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YOu are not doing any type of drug testing on the combatants? That pretty much changes everything.

Do we really want to encourage chimps and grizzlies to be all 'roided up?

Look at the Mayweather / Pacquiano fight and how that is going with the drug testing issues.
 
DRAFTSTUD said:
Oak is right, I had a Girlfriend in the 60's whose parents had two Squirrel Monkeys and they loved to whack off 24/7.)
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Just out of curiosity, how did you know that your elderly girlfriend's parents liked to whack off 24/7?

That is kind of "too much information" about your potential in-laws.
 
This thread reminds me of the movie "Stand by Me".

Vern: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?
Teddy: What are you, cracked?
Vern: Why not? I saw the other day. He was carrying five elephants in one hand!
Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy. There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.
Vern: Yeah, maybe you're right. It'd be a good fight, though.
Click to expand...
 
How come all of Dinkshooters posts lead to someone mentioning "whacking off"?
 
Just because that monkey messed up that chicks face, I still don't think that makes me think a chimp would win the fight. Think about what Tim Treadwell's girlfriend's face must have looked like too, and then decide.
I think that chimp would gets it ass handed too him, literally. Now a black bear, maybe a close match.
 
Make it a gorilla and it might be a bit closer. Ever catch critters and make them fight? I had a champion cockroach that took out a black widow and a scorpion.
 
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What about a bigger 'monkey'? I'm thinking grizz vs silverback. I'm voting for my family tree...

'Course the Marty Stoufer footage (only seen on the commercial) of the Mtn Lion and Grizz was a bit interesting. The bear didn't looked to happy having the cat's teeth stuck to his melon.
 
Grizz hands down, while the monkey was "whacking off" the grizz would take advantage! The monkey would have his mind on other things not the grizz IMO.
 
I wonder.... when Big Fin reads this, if he's Slapping his head saying "Why is a Grizz and a Monkey fight the longest thread on hunttalk" :D

Man I love this place !!
 
This is the answer that was given on another website...gives a pretty good explanation...

Please note that grizzly bears and gorillas have reputations for ferocity, but these are probably exaggerated. This is especially true for gorillas, which are far more peaceful than the ‘King Kong' image suggests. In fact, chimpanzees are far more dangerous and will kill each other, as well as hunting in groups and tearing monkeys and antelopes apart.

Gorillas live in Africa, while grizzly bears live in North America, so there is no likelihood of them coming into contact with one another in the wild, unless one of them were introduced into the habitat of the other.

They also live in different habitats. Most gorillas inhabit lowland tropical rainforest, but some live in bamboo forest and montane rainforest. The grizzly bear prefers open habitats, such as tundra, alpine meadows and coastlines. This means that a gorilla would not adapt well to the bear's habitat and the bear would not adapt well to the gorilla's habitat.

I think that if they ever came into contact, they would avoid one another. Grizzly bears rarely attack people and prefer to avoid confrontation. A male gorilla will go through various threat displays and will avoid fighting if he can. If anything, I think the gorilla would back down if the bear did not move away and I can't really imagine a bear being put off by a gorilla chest-beating or hooting. A gorilla will usually only attack if an aggressor runs away. It will back down if the aggressor stays where it is. I can't really see the grizzly turning tail.

I think a fight would be very unlikely, but if they were to fight, I believe that the bear holds most of the trump cards. If the gorilla and grizzly are the same size, it would involve a full-grown male gorilla fighting a rather small grizzly bear. This will benefit the gorilla more than if there were two full-grown animals fighting, as the bear would be heavier.

The gorilla is mainly vegetarian and rarely feeds on animal matter, whereas a grizzly can kill a moose with one swipe of its paw. The bear has the advantage here.

The gorilla's ferocity is a bluff to deter potential adversaries. The bear is being genuinely ferocious and has the advantage here, as it is less likely to back down.

Both have powerful canine teeth and use these mainly in threat displays. The bear is more likely to use the canines to bite and kill prey, while gorillas are practically herbivorous. The bear has the advantage here.

Both have powerful upper limbs, but the bear has long claws, whereas the gorilla has nails. Once again, the bear has the advantage to the bear.

The gorilla is more intelligent than the bear, but the gorilla has more facial expressions. Bear keepers say that it is very difficult to read a bear's mind, because of the lack of facial expression. I don't think the gorilla would be able to either, so I don't think the gorilla's intelligence would be much of an advantage here.

Perhaps the only advantage to a gorilla and bear in a one-on-one situation is habitat. The bear would have the advantage in a clearing, but the gorilla would have the advantage if it ran into a rainforest or montane forest and the bear followed. I can't really imagine a bear chasing a gorilla into a forest or other gorillas fighting the bear – I presume you want a one-on-one fight. Chimpanzees can band together to kill leopards, but I haven't heard cases of gorillas doing so.

But, as I stated earlier, I don't think a fight would be likely, especially as one of the animals would be rather disorientated in a strange habitat. It is also unusual for individuals of different species to fight one another. The nearest is when a predator is attacking a prey animal. As bears do not prey on gorillas, this is not a natural phenomenon.
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In fact, chimpanzees are far more dangerous and will kill each other, as well as hunting in groups and tearing monkeys and antelopes apart.

So now I am saying 2 chimps on PCP against one giant brown bear. I need to go to Russia.
 
No doubt the chimps are crazy, but I just don't see how a chimp could cause enough damage to grizzly to really take him down.
 
I knew Russia was the place to make this dream happen.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35602234/ns/technology_and_science-science/

A Russian chimpanzee has been sent to rehab by zookeepers to cure the smoking and beer-drinking habits he has picked up, a popular daily reported on Friday.

An ex-performer, Zhora became aggressive at his circus and was transferred to a zoo in the southern Russian city of Rostov, where he fathered several baby chimps, learned to draw with markers and picked up his two vices.

"The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze," the Komsomolskaya Pravda paper said.

It added he has now been transferred to the city of Kazan, about 500 miles east of Moscow, for rehabilitation treatment.
 
Hmmm... A drunken Russian chimp, smoking, jerking off, while pestering a Grizz for more booze.

I agree, that would be worth a trip to Russia.
 
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