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A story, an outcome, and maybe a change of direction

I appreciate this thread. I've made decisions I regret while hunting, and the ensuing guilt and self-loathing make me wonder if I'm really cut out for hunting, and sometimes even this planet. The world is just so full of shit and meanness, and the feeling of adding to that just crushes me.

I used to be an ice cold killer. I don't like to admit it, but a part of me enjoyed the mayhem. My appetite for violence has been chilled considerably over the years and "buck fever" has taken its place. I truly hate it.
 
Is it really more fair to kill a whitetail from a tree stand with a bow than to kill a bull elk in the mountains from 300+ yards?
After thinking about it for a little bit, I'd say yes. You're sneaking into their world to ambush them. If they have any suspicion that you're there, you likely won't get a shot. There can't be anything obstructing the shot. I'll catch flack for it because it's the internet, and someone will always disagree with my opinion, but that's okay, I can handle it. wllm may disagree, but I'm okay with that. Discussing things like this makes everyone smarter and more well rounded.

A couple of years ago I posted a hunt story, on that trip I made some mistakes, was a little green when it came to how to do some stuff and made some bad calls. No harm no foul, but I definitely screwed up.

Posted the story and had a user on here just explode at me via PM. We had a back and forth, I totally owned that I did it wrong, I did.

Turns out the the PM'er had recently made a catastrophic error and was more or less projecting on me their guilt.

@neffa3 wrote this thread to discuss and own his own misgivings and guilt? if that's a fair way to phrase it, @neffa3. It's a valuable conversation to have IMHO.

Killing things is messy and doesn't always go to plan. I've lost 2 animals, both with a muzzy. First one I was using a muzzy during rifle season, I'm quite certain if I'd been using a scoped rifle I wouldn't have lost that animal. I definitely wouldn't have caused it undo pain and stress. I definitely feel guilty about that choice. Second one was just a bad shot.

I'm not going to post about the 'intimacies' of a muzzy, in order to assuage my guilt.

There is nothing wrong with bow hunting.

In aggregate bow hunting has a higher wounding rate than other methods of take.

When you take a bow into the field you have to live with that reality. I'm sure if I keep bow hunting I'm going to lose animals, that's just how it goes.

I think feeling guilty about your mistakes is normal and heathy, but we all have to own our mistakes. Creating a superiority complex to justify our guilt is problematic, projecting on others is problematic.
I'm really not trying to make excuses or discount the severity of wounding an animal, but it happens. It should never be easy, otherwise you'd start taking marginal shots because "hey, it's worth a shot". Unfortunately, I know people who have that opinion on the matter which is sickening.

No form of hunting has really great harvest rates. Rifle is the best, and archery is the worst without a doubt. When you think about it, the stars really need to align to get within range, and have a clear shot with archery equipment.

Just deer hunting gun season in MN shows that a bow in the right hands is significantly more deadly than a rifle in many people's hands. I hear a shot ring off, then 2 or 3 follow up shots... I've never had to shoot a deer more than once with a gun. I've seen deer with bullet holes all over.
 
Maybe by next spring (more like this winter) I'll feel like putting in for some tags again, but I think it's more likely that I'll be taking an extended break from big game.
Well, sitting in front of the stove last night, reading about the merits of honor in society, I felt the warming of something different inside, a softening of my animosity toward myself and my failures this year.

Several of you expressed an appropriate outlook that I'm coming around to. If one is to seek betterment in life, then one must come to an understanding of one's own faults, then one must except some amount of additional failure to accompany any progress made toward those shortcomings. There is no way for me to tame or control what I have come to think of as hunting anxiety, without hunting. While I preach the gospel of hypocrisy, as any good parent will, I am finding too frequently that I remind my kids that failure is just a part of life, nothing comes natural, and that practice is more often than not, simply a series of failures. You cannot get "good" at anything without practice, and more importantly even if you never get "good", practice still has value.

I picked up the bow this morning, just as it got light, and took a couple of shots.

They felt pretty good.
 
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@neffa3 it happens to all archery hunters at some point in there archery career! It’s part of it, the mental control. For the first couple years I bowhunted I had this problem. Took me 4 years to get it under control till immediately after the shot. Here’s some advice, take it with a grain of salt. I took up competitive archery, both 3-D and 5-Spot and Vegas tournaments, I used those experiences of being “Target Panicked” and learned how to control it till after, compartmentalize it. This helps me a lot keep that “fever” away. I use the same steps as when I’m practicing or competitively shooting. Knock arrow, range, dial my sight, pick a shooting lane, draw, level my bubble, center my pin in the peep, place on target, release. This goes through my head before and during the process! But after I’m shaking like a leaf and can hardly talk, I know this cause I make a video to my wife every time I harvest an animal. Good luck I hope this helps.
Matt
 
Well, sitting in front of the stove last night, reading about the merits of honor in society, I felt the warming of something different inside, a softening of my animosity toward myself and my failures this year.

Several of you expressed an appropriate outlook that I'm coming around to. If one is to seek betterment in life, then one must come to an understanding of one's own faults, then one must except some amount of additional failure to accompany any progress made toward those shortcomings. There is no way for me to tame or control what I have come to think of as hunting anxiety, without hunting. While I preach the gospel of hypocrisy, as any good parent will, I am finding too frequently that I remind my kids that failure is just a part of life, nothing comes natural, and that practice is more often than not, simply a series of failures. You cannot get "good" at anything without practice, and more importantly even if you never get "good", practice still has value.

I picked up the bow this morning, just as it got light, and took a couple of shots.

They felt pretty good.
Great post, I had a hell of a spell for about 2 years with my bow. Took my wife and those closest to me telling me the only way to get over it is to get back out there and make a good decision. I got back out there and told myself I needed to be okay with one walking by if the shot wasn't perfect. This season I had two walk by on shots I would of taken any other year and have had success with in the past. I wasn't 100% sure and didn't want to deal with the aftermath if it didn't go well. Since I've taken this approach things have gotten better. It still won't be the last time i'm sure and to me that's okay. I've come to terms that it is the ugly side that comes with hunting. When you are honest with people you'll get an array of responses. I had buddies telling me they've never had this issue then all of a sudden they have a year like you described. I think it's our responsibility to take the lesson learned and do everything in our power to not repeat it. Glad to hear your back at it with the bow.
 

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