A little humour for your day

[Hilljackoutlaw]

" Screwing the pooch and selling the puppies " becomes a harsh reality.View attachment 363841

The world is full of dog humpers, the number decreasing rapidly the farther one gets from Missoula, Montana.

 

[Caseknife]

What no headlight button on the floor?

Throw a starter button down there also, but in all reality, those that had that feature probably didn't have the headlight dimmer switch.

 

[Caseknife]

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin-engine aircraft. A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communication was on a cellular phone. He yelled, “Mayday Mayday Mayday! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday Mayday Mayday!"
The employee in the tower immediately put him on speaker phone and said, "Calm down, we acknowledge you and we'll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic. Remain calm!"
He began his series of questions:
Tower: "How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the altimeter dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, that's good, remain calm. How do you know you're traveling at 180 mph?"
Aircraft: "I can see that it reads 180 mph on the airspeed dial in front of me."
Tower: "Okay, this is great so far, but it's heavily overcast. So how do you know you're flying upside down?"
Aircraft: "The pee from my pants is running out of my shirt collar."

The guy has a better grasp of logic than most of the people I have worked with

 

[CRJR45]

I'm not sure what it is , but I want one !

 

[Tradewind]

 

[Tradewind]

 

[Tradewind]

 

[Tradewind]

 

[Tradewind]

 

[SwaggyD]

@seeth07 @Treeshark

This true?

Edit to ask: were either of you 1 of the 8?

 

[Treeshark]

View attachment 363945
@seeth07 @Treeshark

This true?

Edit to ask: were either of you 1 of the 8?

Ha! On one of my first days working on a roofing crew in college, we had to take these big white vans to the job site. There was probably 5 or 6 other guys on my crew that day, and I wound up having to drive because In was the only one that still had my license.

We did have a crane operator who would drink a six pack every day home from that job. It was less than an hour drive. He would stick his beers in a brown jersey glove “so no one would notice it was a beer.” Like dude… I’m not sure you could be more obvious if you tried.

Anyway- yes. Seems legit.

 

[Keep on]

View attachment 363886

Looks like the caliper bolts on my GMC's brakes from the factory.

 

[seeth07]

View attachment 363945
@seeth07 @Treeshark

This true?

Edit to ask: were either of you 1 of the 8?

Only thing here we hate more than parking tickets is not helping someone out.

As far as a blow device in a car, those are pretty much standard issue around here at the car dealerships

 

[Treeshark]

Only thing here we hate more than parking tickets is not helping someone out.

As far as a blow device in a car, those are pretty much standard issue around here at the car dealerships

Yeah I thought they just came that way. Some of you guys have ignitions without a little hose? Are these imports or something?

 

[seeth07]

Yeah I thought they just came that way. Some of you guys have ignitions without a little hose? Are these imports or something?

Probably electrics. We don't allow that garbage here.

 

[CRJR45]

 

[noharleyyet]

 

[seeth07]

View attachment 363953

I just saw this last week here:

 

[noharleyyet]

Ha! On one of my first days working on a roofing crew in college, we had to take these big white vans to the job site. There was probably 5 or 6 other guys on my crew that day, and I wound up having to drive because In was the only one that still had my license.

We did have a crane operator who would drink a six pack every day home from that job. It was less than an hour drive. He would stick his beers in a brown jersey glove “so no one would notice it was a beer.” Like dude… I’m not sure you could be more obvious if you tried.

Anyway- yes. Seems legit.

I was a mud mixer for a crew of plasterers. Most of em drank hard liquor and would keep their pints on the backside of my sandpile to keep em cool. They'd evil eye me if my shovel ventured near their hooch stash. There were many an empty pint container discarded in air ducts

 

[Treeshark]

Sounds like a similar cast of characters.

Pinky, Whipper and Piss Eyes were the old dogs on that crew. The day after payday was always a bit of a struggle for a few hours.