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The Oath

Muledeer4me

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Is this the oath WWPs Jon Marvel makes you take to join his group?


I swear an oath on my honor as a hypocrite that...
I will cuss cows but eat beef, blast miners but wear jewelry and drive a car but condemn oil companies.

I don't want trees cut for any purpose other than to provide the lumber for my next house.

As a Hollywood celebrity I assert my God given right to sire at least four children by three different wives and then protest about overpopulation in the world.

I will put fish first by saving the sucker and salmon, but not the farmers and ranchers who feed me.

I demand that politicians and federal judges in Washington save all endangered species, except the small business man.

I feel government is imminently qualified to micro-manage nature, after all, look what a smashing job they've done with the IRS, EPA, USDA, FBI, BLM and assorted other alphabet agencies.

As a self-righteous hypocrite it is my duty to celebrate Earth Day with barbecues and parades and by leaving tons of trash behind.

I demand that feedlots and farms stop polluting our ground water. That privilege should be preserved for me every time I flush the contents of my toilet into a septic tank or the ocean.

I want to relocate grizzly bears and wolves to the West but not in my big-city backyard. After all, people live here! I give my permission for mountains lions to eat lambs but if a lion eats my dog or cat I demand the abominable beast be shot on sight.

I will cuss oil companies on talk radio and stand in the way of their drilling more wells while sitting in my gas guzzling SUV with the engine running.

I will write letters to the editor on my computer castigating utility companies for not providing enough electricity. At the same time I will send money to green groups who want to tear down hydroelectric dams and stand in the way of any new power producing projects.

I avow at the next cocktail party I attend while smoking a cigarette and sipping a martini that I will sue the tobacco companies for causing my lung cancer.

Although I have never personally milked a cow or grown vegetables in a garden I demand to have a say on how farmers and ranchers do it.

As a pompous hypocrite I demand that water, herbicides, and pesticides be taken away from farmers immediately, but I don't want it to affect the price, quantity or quality of the food I buy in the store. It is my strongly held conviction that we should ban all pesticides, except the can of bug spray I use to kill ants and other unwanted bugs in my home.

As a mealy-mouthed hypocrite I vow to help stop global warming by watching the Discovery Channel on my giant sized television in my air-conditioned house.

I assert that cattle pooping on our nation's grasslands is a national disgrace while fertilizing my urban lawn with steer manure and urea is simply good ecology. I will complain about fertilizer runoff from farms but not from golf courses because I happen to be a golfer.

I will hound hunters in the woods because they use guns despite the fact that hunting groups have increased habitat and wildlife numbers.

I demand that the government end all timber cutting or recovery in our national forests but I'll cry like a singed coyote if the feds allow wildfires to burn near my house.

As a card-carrying hypocrite I disavow the use of fur, leather, wool and all animal by-products, except the ones used in medicine that might save my life.

I demand labels be placed on all food products but not on a rock album that endorses killing cops.

Finally, as an arrogant and self-serving hypocrite I firmly believe that rural folks have done a terrible job of taking care of the countryside and they must do a better job because that's where I want to live or visit someday when I can escape the pollution, crime, and insanity of the barren big city in which I currently reside.​
PIF Additions:

I demand that all commercial fishing be ended, while protecting my right to catch as many fish as I can, and sell them under-the-table to whomever I choose.

I demand that all US farmers be bought out and the land be turned over to productive use or into preserves, but reserve the right to grow as large a garden as I want and sell any surplus under-the-table to whomever I choose.

I demand that any actual farm bought out be given pennies on the dollar, since there are better uses for the money, like additional funding for the National Endowment for the Arts, which I really need and appreciate. I would also really appreciate it if, despite media news to the contrary, those farmers are forced off their land, saving taxpayers like me money.

In addition to demanding "the government end all timber cutting or recovery in our national forest," demand, as a rich hypocrite, that the timber for my new summer home be imported from countries like Russia and Indonesia since they are poor and need money.

I demand that the Federal Government raise taxes on everyone - since I can afford it, and increase the power of the IRS to collect them - including the use of deadly force, while reserving my right to hire an accounting firm to help me avoid paying them.

I demand that the government end mining in the US, as it is terribly hostile to the environment, besides those materials can be easily imported from countries like Russia and China.

I demand that the Federal Government increase the power of trial lawyers, so that I can collect more money when I contract cancer from chain smoking.

I demand that the national news media never tell me anything other than the opinions they want me to believe, else I might have to stop believing I live in a free country with an honest media.

I demand that an Amendment to the US Constitution be added, stating that it is a living document which only federally appointed Judges may interpret, as long as that interpretation reflects the views of the people as stated in the media. However, I reserve the right to do whatever I want, and if I can't, I'll sue.

I demand more high-tech surveillance cameras to catch criminals, since I always obey the law and would never do anything illegal.

I demand the government disband the entire US military establishment, since the Cold War is over. There are better uses for the money, like additional funding for the National Endowment for the Arts, which I really need and appreciate. I'm quite confident that the UN can take care of any trouble that might arise overseas or here from malcontents. All the military assets should be sold to the highest bidder like China, since they are being sold to them now piecemeal - that would add a lot of money to the Treasury which could be put to better use, like hiring more police to protect me from riff-raff like those farmers, fishermen, loggers and miners.

I demand that those malcontents who think the US Constitution is not a living document, who refuse to believe government pronouncements or the media, who want "facts," be sent to re-education camps. There they can learn to lead productive lives and be useful members of society again. This will leave lots of houses and other property for me to buy cheap, which I can then resell to them at market rate, once they emerge back into society. Of course I don't expect to have to pay for these camps - let the malcontents earn their living doing something useful like making license plates or direct sales calls - which I block. They don't need to earn much anyway.

I demand that all my demands become a required part of the national educational ciriculum, since they are reasonable and just, and make me feel good.​
 
JoseCuervo said:
Any particular reason you are trying to libel Mr. Marvel? Please post facts, or quit posting.


Ithaca said:
JC, She'll never post anything intelligent.


What a bunch of assclowns :rolleyes: No I think assholes would be a better term


Delw
 
Certificate of Upgrade to Complete Asshole

Is awarded to: Put the awardee's name here

In recognition of your obnoxious attitude, ability to piss people off, complete

asinine juvenile behavior and total dedication to personal gain without regard

to the many hardships you have forced upon friends, family and other during your

lifetime, you have become a legend in your own mind.

To recognize your upgrade from half-assed to complete asshole, gives all

concerned great satisfaction. If anyone, for any reason, doubts your status,

JUST BE YOURSELF!
 
I heard someone say last night that debating with a liberal was like trying to catch a fart in a wind storm. They can't follow anything in a straight line and they spend more time with inductive logic than they do with linear logic. Rather than debating the merits of the topic at hand, they will pull in something totally unrelated and try to make that fit (inductive logic).

I guess ass clown would fit OK..

:cool:
 
Dan,

Watching you try to debate Buzzard, I would have to agree with your fart in the wind analogy. It is entertaining to watch however. Which direction is that fart going to blow next?
 
Any particular reason you are trying to libel Mr. Marvel? Please post facts, or quit posting.

guner/sybil...
I think we all and this board would be far better off if "you" quit posting, it usually always is in your absence... ;)

LMAO Dan...
That was hitting it where it really rests... but I would believe lessons lost on those hiding in their own little box not wanting to see the truth of who they are... ;)
 
That was one of danr55's more intelligent posts I thought. Pretty interesting idea there, inductive versus linear logic. Is there deductive logic, oh yeah, I guess that's good, I've heard of that. What's non-linear logic like? Is there any of that kind of thing?
 
Tom,
Interesting that DanR's linear logic has his story of trying to catch farts in the wind. I guess that is what happens when you have Alzheimers.
 
"Quote:
Originally Posted by JoseCuervo
Any particular reason you are trying to libel Mr. Marvel? Please post facts, or quit posting. "

"I will cuss cows but eat beef, blast miners but wear jewelry and drive a car but condemn oil companies.

I don't want trees cut for any purpose other than to provide the lumber for my next house. "

Jose,if those two facts arent enough for you just go read the rest of the post.
I see many things that would fit Mr. Marvel, and many of the other treehugger type's.




Any particular reason you have for being such a suck up to Mr Marvel?????????
Please post your reason or forever be labled an ass kissing suck up.
 
Muledeer4me,
Where ya been hiding?
Welcome back.
Sybil, Reread the first post, It is a question not a statement.
 
guner/sybil
I think she has linked the statements to Marvel pretty well (you say a lot of things that you can't prove about others and can't link them to any thing they said, only what you thought) So where you going with it any way??? it also seems to pretty well fit you ;)
 
"Any particular reason you have for being such a suck up to Mr Marvel?????????
Please post your reason or forever be labled an ass kissing suck up."

LMAO...MD4M didn't waste much time taking the gloves off. Well Jose, is it true your an ass kissing suck up?
 
Tom, Just as an FYI, deductive logic is linear logic and inductive logic is non-linear logic. It is determined by the way one tries to make a point. Deductive logic begins with a premise. All of the discussion is based on that premise and why it is or is not correct, predicated on the information at hand. Eliminating those questions that have no effect and then reaching a general surmise based on those things that have a proven effect.

Inductive or non-linear logic begins with a premise and then induces all of numbers of things that may or may not effect the original premise. It frequently follows lines of reasoning which prove to be dead end or non-effective to the original premise. It frequently winds up with a path that drifts away from the original premise and comes to some unrelated conclusions. Many things discovered using this line of logic are referred to as being serendipotous or accidental in that you weren't going there originally, but that's where you wound up and you like it.

See the difference?

:cool:
 
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