Hmmmm.
This will probably take more than the allowed characters to answer.
WHY?
My wife asks that all the time. Like earlier this week when she saw the schedule where this weekend is my one weekend home out of seven consecutive weekends. Or, when she sees the fall calendar and I am on the road from mid-August to mid-December.
Yet when I start asking myself the same question you have posed above and I start vocalizing some frustrations, she probably gives the best answer to your question. She will light me up with what she thinks is a pep talk. To me, it is much more than a pep talk. She has a way of pushing the right buttons and can do so in the most effective way.
Her response usually goes something like this, "You said when we could afford it, you wanted to invest your time in something important to you. Well, this is what is important to you. Who else is in the marital, financial, and employment position to do what you do? You spent the prior fifteen years learning about this stuff, and now you're just gonna walk away from it? You've got some uncertain health issues and you said you would not take your good days for granted. Guess you aren't as committed to it as I thought you were. I know I surely haven't invested all of this time and money; spent the last eight years being a hunting season widow, because I thought you were going to give up when it got to be tough sledding. If not you, who else is going to do this? You know that even if you walked away, the first time an issue popped up, you would jump into the fray. Your DNA doesn't let you walk away from this, so go get some rest, then get your butt back out on the trail. What do you want for dinner?"
Obviously, pep talks are a bit overly dramatic, but she has a really good pep talk that she gives every six months or so, with enough variation to make it effective.
From a business perspective, which gets to your point of "to lose money full time," here is part of why I do this. In 2008, a guy (a quiet Hunt Talker) and I had been serving for 12 years on the Board of Directors of another non-profit organization. We had grown frustrated of trying to make change via the non-profit 501(c)(3) route. We started talking about how to do it without the confines of a 501(c)(3) and incorporate some other aspects of outdoor business ideas we thought could help fund the advocacy side of the operation.
Warning - don't start an enterprise a month before the worst financial meltdown of your generation (September 2008). Trust me on that one.
I committed to my wife, the small pool of wonderful investors who help with this behind the scenes, and myself that we would make this work. I am blessed/cursed with a level of bullheadedness that can be a serious liability at times. So, I keep doing this, even though we have never made a dime.
Don't get me wrong, I think we will make a profit some day. We are doing a lot of things to build a foundation to do that and still keep true to our original business principles. It is just taking a lot longer and more work than the original business plan projected. My wife and my investors agreed that the message and advocacy would not be compromised for any reason. When you make that decision, you have to turn down a lot of revenue opportunities. That decision causes you to have a much narrower field of businesses and groups you can work with, many of whom are true non-profits, so you end up doing a lot of work as a volunteer. Until we start making money and the investors are repaid, I view myself as the last bucket to get refilled. So, until that time comes, I expect no payment for my time and no return on my investment. Serves as good motivation in addition to the non-financial aspects.
As for the non-financial aspects of why I do this. Easy answer - "Because I'm a hunter."
I have some other personal explanations that are just personality traits that don't allow me to quit. But, when it comes down to it, being a hunter, I feel a serious responsibility to do what I can to make our culture better; at least according through my eyes and the life experiences that have formed me. I have been blessed beyond anything I could have ever imagined as a ten year-old growing up in a trailer house in Big Falls, Minnesota. With those blessings it seems selfish if I were to not give back what I could to something that is so important to my life; hunting and public lands.
Additionally, I have a rare liver condition. In 2005, if you had asked me if I thought I would still be standing, let alone doing what I do, my answer would have been, "No." Some days when you see me logged in on Hunt Talk, it is not me, rather my wife, as I am not able to operate some days. An example was week before last. I was pretty close to non-functional for three consecutive days. That happens with no predictability and when it does, I just have to shut down and take care of myself. It happens in the field, also, but you don't see it on camera as we edit out those days.
A new life perspective comes to all who have a daily health issue where you never know if you might wake up tomorrow and your health is headed the direction of others who have the same condition who are not able to function and usually have a terminal path. That new life perspective is a blessing that is hard to put in words. I have now dealt with this condition for eleven years and doctors tell me that if it was going to take a turn down the terminal path it would have happened by now. Seems as though I drew the lucky straw among us with this condition, where I might live long enough to die of other causes. Even if it is daily headaches, serious fatigue, and some days each month where I am non-functioning, it is a lot better than the alternative.
Like I said, I struggle to put this into words; how being convinced that your time on earth was short and then having great doctors to help work your way back from that ledge influences your perspective on life. Suffice to say, it gives you a sense of blessing for every day you get out of bed, It provides perspective to commit to make the most of those days, knowing how many others would give all they have/had to be in my health, even with my daily complications. This endeavor provides opportunity to honor that commitment to make the most of it.
In addition, I do it because of the commitment I made to my wife, the investors, and myself that we would make this a success. I could go on and on, but beyond the financial reasons, I do it because my DNA is a hunter and, when I commit to something, I plan to make good on my word. It's that simple.
